A friend wrote “I know I am fading. I need help with fading. I will be staying at home for this part of the journey.”
A woman of gentle strength, courage, humility, wisdom, and hope, her post reminded me of this photo which for me, became symbolic of birth and death.
In it, I saw tall, strong trees standing on the edge of fresh running water that brings life. I also saw leaves from those trees falling to their demise as salmon swam upstream in the waters to their end.
Birth and death similar in a unique way.
When we are born, we change our address. We move “From Beyond” (where we grow in the care of our mother’s womb) to “This World” (where we grow through life’s lessons).
When we die, we change our address again … We move from “This World” (where we have grown through life’s lessons) to “Beyond” (where, like our time in our mother’s womb, we were oblivious about what is before us, but is a hope that we are not at our ‘end’).
Perhaps we might think of death as a beginning … another new beginning.
So many have died recently. They have changed their address.
So many are dealing with terminal illness and are dying. They are about to change their address.
When we were born, we made the transition “From Beyond” to “This World.”
When we die, we will make the transition from “This World” to “Beyond.“
And when that happens, it could be far more glorious than we can even anticipate or imagine!
I first heard the words from Sarah in a small northern Alaskan village.
The tiny, elderly, native woman spoke them slowly and carefully, all the while looking directly in my eyes. “How deeply you are connected to my soul, June.”
Deeply humbled by her words, I was thinking “this is not your common-ordinary-everyday conversation with a stranger.“ At that moment, I could feel the connectedness we shared and knew, even though we were cultures apart and our differences far outweighed our similarities, the ‘at-one-ness’ with each other was real. At that moment, our souls had connected.
One of the songs I learned in the tiny wooden building in that Alaskan bush long ago reinforced Sarah’s words: “How could anyone ever tell you that you’re anything less than beautiful? How could anyone ever tell you that you’re less than whole? How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle? How deeply you’re connected to my soul.”(Libby Roderick)
Though I was the stranger in her remote village, and our customs, language, traditions, life experiences were alien to one another, something indelibly linked us together.
And in that moment, I realized the possibility that two people who, on the surface have little in common with one another, could have a soul-connection.
It was then that the word ‘community’ took on a new meaning for me.
Yet when I watch and listen to the news, I hear the growing rhetoric expressed by politicians who don’t tell the truth, whose views and comments lead to an escalating almost-to-the-point-of-paralyzing fear. I see the growing intolerance and racism, misogyny and hatred, and can’t help but wonder and ask two questions: “Why can we not recognize the soul-connections around us? “Why can we not be community?”
I have no answers only more questions …
“When will it be time for those who speak or think ill of another – those who wound others with their words or thoughts – those who teach people to hate and fear – those who tear-down rather than build-up to recognize that we are all connected we are all part of the same community …the human community?”
Quote “We can work together for a better world with men and women of goodwill, those who radiate the intrinsic goodness of humankind.”
Author Wangari Maathai (1940 – ) is an environmental and political activist. Born in Kenya, she received the Nobel Peace prize for her contribution to sustainable development, democracy and peace. She was an elected Member of Parliament, founded the Greenbelt Movement which planted over thirty million trees in Kenya to help prevent soil erosion, was awarded the first PhD by the University of Nairobi, and increasingly active on both environmental and women’s issues.
Her husband divorced her, reputedly saying that she was too strong-minded for a woman and that he was unable to control her. After the judge in the divorce case agreed with her husband, she was put in jail for speaking out against the judge who then decreed that she could no longer use her husband’s surname. In defiance, she chose to add an extra “a” to her last name – changing, but not changing it. She experienced imprisonment and physical attack for demanding multi-party elections and an end to tribal politics and political corruption in Kenya.
Soul-Questions
1. What does “intrinsic goodness of humankind” mean to you?
2. How can “intrinsic goodness” be radiated?
3. How can spirituality be expressed in environmental, economic, political etc. activism?
4. How can you work with others who radiate the intrinsic goodness of humankind “for a better world”?
******************** How to use “Soulistry Soul-Questions” You may want to begin a Journal so your responses are all in one place.
From time to time, a quotation will appear along with accompanying Soul-Questions. Write the quotation. Add the first question and write your response.
Take your time in writing your replies. This is your time – these are your answers.
Then at your leisure, add the second Soul-Question and respond and continue on. Btw, it helps to put the date after each Soul-Question response.
The “Soul-Questions” group on Facebook can be found www.facebook.com/groups/soulquestions
The “Soul-Questions” website and individual quotes/soul-questions can be found www.soulistry.com/soul-questions-blog-posts
Death. Many don’t want to talk about it. And yet, in these days of COVID19, death is in the news. Daily.
Whether death happens at (or close to) a birthday, at Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Valentines’ Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Easter – at any time – the subject of death is the proverbial ‘elephant in the room’ at home, work, a social gathering, on the phone, in social media.
When family, friends, pets we love, die, the elephant has walked into the room. Phrases like these come our way. I’ve heard them all – and more. “It’s just been a week/few weeks. You’ll feel great in three/six/twelve months.” “It’s been almost a year. It’s time to get over it and move on.” “It’s just a dog/cat.” “You’ll be fine once this holiday is over.” “He didn’t deserve what he went through, so God gave needed rest. God’s garden must be beautiful. He only takes the best.” “You only knew them through Facebook. How can you grieve someone you never met in person?” “You knew it was coming.”
What to do if someone says something similar to these to you? Ignore their comments. You know the truth. Love cannot be defined by anyone other than the parties involved.
While grief never ends, it changes. Grief is a passage, a journey, not a place. Grieving isn’t a sign of weakness, or a sign of lack of faith. Grief can begin even before death arrives. And, grief can be cumulative.
Sometimes, the death of someone brings forward negative memories … of abuse, victimization. Seek help. Find ways to release that person’s hold on your life.
Sometimes, death can bring forward thoughts of guilt … we “didn’t do enough” … we weren’t “there when they were dying.” In these COVID19 days, being with our loved ones may be impossible and guilt surfaces. Seek help.
No matter what the circumstances – let us be gentle with ourselves as we grieve.
Let us remember those who have died … and where possible, remember them with joy in our heart, with gratitude that our paths connected.
May we acknowledge that our loved ones will always be with us in some way in our hearts, minds, memories. Death ends a life, not a relationship.
May each person who has died, rest in peace.
When the “Trigger Moments” of grief show up, and they do show up often in the most unexpected times and places, ‘Trigger Moments’ might be of encouragement: www.soulistry.com/trigger-moments
Remembering this day, April 26th, Hans van der Werff (April 29, 1929 – June 26, 2016), beloved husband. Rest in peace dear Hans. Rest in peace.
The framed work of the phrase “Death Ends A Life, Not a Relationship” was created as part of a teaching series for the “Seeing With New Eyes” calligraphy workshop which I taught when workshops were happening in person. These days, it’s ZOOM workshops, and I haven’t yet decided whether or not to step into that new teaching mode. Btw, the flowers are from the back yard – grown from seeds that were volunteered by birds flying by. 🙂
Author: Bonnie Henry Dr. Bonnie Henry is a Canadian physician; the Provincial Health Officer for the Province of British Columbia, Canada; has worked internationally including with the WHO/UNICEF polio eradication program in Pakistan and the World Health Organization to control the Ebola outbreak in Uganda; and is an associate professor at the University of British Columbia, Faculty of Medicine.
SOUL-QUESTIONS The words “Be kind, be calm and be safe” echo throughout the Province of British Columbia, Canada and far beyond during these days of the COVID19 pandemic. Dr. Henry’s words are a gentle reminder of the importance in any difficult situation that is out of our control, we must do what we can to be calm, kind and safe.
1. Reflect on a moment in your life when you encountered a difficult situation that was out of your control (e.g. a personal situation, COVID19) and you began to panic. – Were you able to regain a sense of control – of peace – of calmness? – If so, how did you do that? – If not, can you identify what kept you in the state of panic?
2. Reflect on another (or the same) moment in your life when you encountered a difficult moment and you felt unsafe. – Were you able to do something to regain a sense of security? – Did you ask/call for help? – Did others help? – If so, how? – If you still feel unsafe, what are some things you can do to move to a position of safety?
3. Reflect on a moment in your life when someone expressed unasked-for kindness to you. – What feelings did you experience as you received such kindness? – Did you express those feelings to the person who offered that kindness?
4. Reflect on a moment in your life when you were unkind to another human being … someone in your family … a neighbour … a stranger … a friend … and animal … the environment. – If you were aware you were being unkind but did/said what you did/said anyway, what feelings did you experience as you were unkind? – If you were aware you were being unkind, did you express that to anyone? … share with the person? … share with a counsellor? … share with a clergy person? … write in your Journal about it? – If so, which? – If not, why not?
******************** How to use “Soulistry Soul-Questions” You may want to begin a Journal so your responses are all in one place.
From time to time, a quotation will appear along with accompanying Soul-Questions. Write the quotation. Add the first question and write your response.
Take your time in writing your replies. This is your time – these are your answers.
Then at your leisure, add the second Soul-Question and respond and continue on. Btw, it helps to put the date after each Soul-Question response.
Remembering this day, April 26th, Hans van der Werff (April 29, 1929 – June 26, 2016), beloved husband. Rest in peace dear Hans. Rest in peace.
