Weather-wise,
it is overcast and gloomy.
Nature has arrived in full force
bringing devastation and tragedy.
Politically,
aftershocks of the global tariff war
have begun to arrive in full force
heaping grief, disillusionment, anger and unbelievable fear.
When the going-got-rough for our forbears:
… poverty, war, hurricanes, ill health,
they held on to inheritance of the generations before them
their ancestors
who provided a legacy
of endurance and strength and hope.
Sometimes, that legacy was all they had to hold onto.
These days, it may be all we have to hold onto.
As the mountains in the photo speak of strength
the trees speak of endurance
the roses speak of hope
… all in one photo
inside each of us
through the legacy entrusted us,
by those-who-have-gone-before
is strength, endurance, hope.
In difficult times,
let us “hold on.”
We will.
We must hold on.
Just as our ancestors have, in the past,
one step,
one moment,
at a time
we, too,
will “hold on!”
MAiD (Medical Assistancein Dying) became law in Canada in June, 2016 with a variety of responses. It has been welcomed, ignored, misunderstood, controversial, deemed to be anathema.
Many years ago, the request by a friend to sign as a witness on her MAiD document, made me pause and reflect, once again, on life, on death, on compassion, on personal decision-making about one’s own body and more.
I found myself going back decades ago and a conversation with my mother who wanted to have ‘the conversation’ with me. Having serious health issues, she wanted me to know her thoughts on dying and her wishes. We had ‘the conversation’ many times over the years.
The day in her doctor’s office when he told us that Mom’s kidneys had failed and she would have to go on dialysis immediately, Mom made it very clear that she would not do dialysis. The earlier conversations we’d had over the years were brought into reality.
Mom had often expressed a hope that the Canadian government would let people who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, make the decision as to the timing of when they would die for themselves in consultation with their doctor. Mom didn’t get her wish. MAiD was not legal at that time.
Before my husband Hans and I married, we talked about our “final wishes” and MAiD emerged in conversations. Hans was born in the Netherlands where they had their own equivalent to MAiD. He had researched it, was a supporter, and when his first cancer diagnosis was pronounced, we revisited our early discussions. With his second cancer diagnosis, he wanted to formalize things with his doctor and let him to know that if the prognosis were terminal with extreme pain and incapacitation, he wanted to be a candidate when the law was passed in Canada.
With his third cancer (terminal esophageal) a few years later, he knew that the extreme pain he dealt with each moment, would get worse as the cancer continued to spread. There was no quality of life for him at that time. He couldn’t swallow; he couldn’t speak above a whisper; he was exhausted and the pain was not being managed. The time had come. He reminded me that his wishes remained strong and steadfast and that if he couldn’t be granted his request in Canada, he wanted to go to the Netherlands where his request would be granted.
He reminded me of our experience with Shandy, our rescue-dog and beloved King Charles spaniel who had been in pain for too long. While the medications helped her somewhat, pain was her daily, ever-increasing experience. The morning we put her favourite cookie in her mouth and she didn’t know what to do with it, we were at a complete loss. The vet diagnosed it as ‘canine dementia,’ and told us that her kidneys had now failed. He could offer no further remedial help.
Shandy had no quality of life. She wasn’t eating. She was in emotional distress and constant physical pain. She was deaf and almost completely blind. The vet asked what we wanted to do. We asked ourselves “Could we love her enough to let her go?”
It was Friday. An appointment was set for the procedure to happen the next morning. “Monday.” I said. “How about we have her with us over the weekend and have the procedure done on Monday?” My wise husband let me talk and cry it out. He had had dogs all of his life and had walked this road with them in the past. Shandy was my first such experience. Hans and I talked and listened to one another in the silence as we held Shandy close to us. And then I heard myself say “Let love speak.”
By rescuing her from a terrible situation so very long ago, she had been given love and a life of freedom from the pain she had endured from a cruel owner. That was then.
Could we give her love and a life of freedom from pain now – even if that meant we would no longer have her with us?
As difficult as it was, we knew that it was our time to give Shandy the gift of unconditional love and let “love speak.”
I will never forget Shandy’s eyes as she sat on my lap on the drive to the veterinarian’s office the next morning. Usually, on the road and at the vet’s, Shandy was agitated. Not that time. This time, she was quiet. She was at peace.
Love spoke. Under the gentle hands of the vet, Shandy gently left us.
Supporting Hans’ decision for MAiD was personally difficult. But in remembering our experience with Shandy, I knew I had to “let love speak” and support my husband’s decision.
When I sit in a doctor’s office and am asked to sign MAiD papers for friends with whom I have spent a lot of time listening to and talking about ‘possibilities’, I remember my mother. I remember Shandy. I remember Hans. And each time, as I sign the papers, I know that the motivation is clear … “Let love speak.”
While I pray that each person whose MAiD paper I sign will leave planet earth gently, in their sleep, I am aware that death may not happen that way. If that doesn’t happen, and they choose to invoke MAiD, I will ‘let love speak’ and support them in any way I can.
And, should such a time come when I make such a decision for myself, I pray that others will ‘let love speak’ and support me in my decision.
May love always speak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ An aside – this reflection is not intended to cause debate, argument, distress or controversy about the MAiD program in general or in particular. It is a personal reflection only. *****************************
Welcome Spring … Vernal Equinox … to this part of the world. You arrived today! Hurray!
You’re technically here, Spring Equinox, so may we have … a little less cold … no more frost (or snow!) … more sunshine … blossoming flowers and shrubs and plants and trees … chirping birds …happy sounds of children at play outdoors … and compassion, commonsense, integrity, transparency and truth coming from governments and leaders. Please?
When the frost and snow and dreary rains and overcast skies depart, may new life S P R I N G to us all … new life in Nature … new life in aching bodies … new life in relationships … new life in political realms … new life in hope!
Oh how we need spring – spring in our weather – and spring in our souls.
Semocracy is on the edge of disappearing in many countries. Added to that is the rising homelessness; war; addiction; climate refugees; increasing hatred at work, school board meetings, local community gatherings; escalating polarization among family members, religious communities, cities / towns / villages – has led to experiencing grief at a profound, often inexplicable level.
It is a grief that is different than the grief experienced after personal loss (death of a loved one, limb, ability, relationship, home, job). It is a grief that rises when hearts are physically heavy from the hurt and pain due to witnessing hate, racism, injustice and discrimination in the local community, on the news, in person, in social media. It is a grief when living with the reality of war on the doorstep. In “The Wild Edge of Sorrow,” Frances Weller writes that “it takes everything we have to deny the sorrows of the world.”
If you’re wondering why you’re feeling more tired … your body is hurting … you’re experiencing confusion, unusual anger, impatience, loss of sleep (or inability to sleep), headaches, resentment at life’s ‘little things’ etc., it could be the consequence of collective sorrow – corporate grief.
What to do about it? … we can “turn off” for a bit of a break and retreat from social media – not enter conversations that cause distress … we can become a supporter, ally, listener, financial contributor of people/causes that touch our soul … we can talk to someone we trust, as simply ‘naming’ the grief/feelings can release some of their grip on us.
And if/when mental health concerns surface, we can … speak with a health care professional … focus on balancing the sorrows of the world with moments of gratitude, experiences with nature, gentle moments with ourself while enjoying a craft / art / music / hobby / reading.
Focusing on all that is happening in the world can be a double-edged emotional sword. It can … trigger past grief … cause fear and sense of hopelessness and lead to deep emotional trauma.
It can … promote into action. Action via peaceful protest … contacting political leaders … becoming involved in the political process … learning about Restorative Justice programs in the community … speaking out by writing letters to the editor in local newspapers, being witnesses to the truth … and more.
Corporate grief is real.
While sorrows of the world have always existed, today’s social media world and the exploding world of AI bring those sorrows in our living rooms, on our phones, even on our watches. It’s up to us as to how we handle the sense of corporate grief that is palpable, visible, here-and-now.
May we be honest with ourselves – be part of the witness and do what we can to raise consciousness. May we bring truth to the lies and work towards change within ourselves – not so we stop being compassionate beings, but so we can be / continue to be concerned about, care for, advocate on behalf of those people and situations without being crippled by the communal grief.
We must take care of ourselves and acknowledge the corporate grief we feel. It is real. Very real.
A friend posted this a while ago, and with her permission, I share it here. She wrote: “To tell me I’m not family because my political views are different from yours, is beyond sad. To wish me dead, simply because I have gay friends and support gay rights, because I believe there should be gun reform, and because I had the audacity to be supportive of those who chose to walk out of class for 17 minutes is beyond sad. My heart breaks for you. I love you. But you should know, I will always love you … but from a distance.”
I was deeply saddened that she found herself in such a situation and saddened that the political situation in her country has come to this morass where families are divided.
I am grateful she supports her gay friends; grateful she believes in gun reform; grateful she continues to love those who have expressed hatred for her; grateful she realizes that such love must be from a distance for self-preservation; and grateful that she is taking care of herself and walking the path which will lead her to inner peace.
What about us? What decisions do we make about who we let into our lives – thoughts – time – conversations – emails – social media? Are we taking care of ourselves and walking the path of inner peace?
Why do we let the behaviour of others complicate our lives … cause hurt … alienate us from friends / family members … even destroy our inner peace.
Why? And when we do let the behaviour of others do those things, what consequences come our way?
Surely when we let the negative behaviour of others enter our thoughts, our conversations, even our sleep to the point that we become unable to think about much else or get a full night’s sleep, our inner peace is destroyed.
If we want inner peace, we must make decisions about who we let into our thoughts, our conversations, emails, blogs, social media. We must not let the behaviour of others destroy our inner peace.
St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) is a day that brings forth the ‘wearing of the green’, stories of leprechauns and shamrocks, wonderful Irish music, and gentle reminders of Celtic spirituality in many parts of the world.
Celtic spirituality transcends institutionalized religion and encourages people to consider aspects of the essence of life … like sleep. But sleep can be the elusive pimpernel of the night for many.
Night time, for many, seems to be a time when … minds seem to worry more … pain seems to hurt more acutely … grief seems to be more intense … fear seems to escalate
When COVID-19 spread its tentacles in every continent, countless people became isolated, got sick, died. Anxiety grew as new strains of the virus emerged. Vaccines weren’t available to all people. And growing numbers of people refused to get vaccinated.
Increased concern about climate change brought dramatic discussions about climate-refugees. As a growing number of countries around the world continue to live in unbelievable conflict and the rest of the world holds its breath, fearful about the possibility of biological and nuclear warfare being unleashed, thousands are deeply concerned about their savings, health care for themselves/their families, and fear about the future if democracy coming to an end robs people of good sleep.
Rising concerns about availability of treatment/medication for those who are facing unwanted, unexpected, complicated pregnancies – availability of medical care that is becoming a major concern along with the growing concern about homelessness and addiction, keep people awake at night or shorten the length and quality of their sleep.
People “take sides” – alienating people in neighbourhoods, worship, work, community groups/organizations, families. And, worry, stress and global tension are having a serious negative effect on sleep patterns.
We all need sleep – and good sleep. On St. Patrick’s Day, the Ancient Celtic Prayer for Peace and Sleep seems to be most fitting. It is a prayer. It is a wish. It is a hope. It is a need.
May this night, and all nights to come, be blessed with sleep and safety for this world and may this ancient prayer bring a gentle night of sleep for us all.
THE ANCIENT PRAYER FOR PEACE AND SLEEP May the peace of the tallest mountain, and the peace of the smallest stone be our peace. May the stillness of the stars watch over us. And may the everlasting music of the wave lull us to rest. Amen. So be it. Amen.
Calligraphic artist: George Simpson Author: unknown member of a Celtic spirituality community. Many Celtic prayers, including those for sleep and protection, originate from oral traditions and were later compiled in collections like “The Carmina Gadelica”, a 19th-century collection of Gaelic prayers, hymns, and blessings compiled by Alexander Carmichael.
