A gentle walk along a rural path brought forth images of summers long ago when a swing under the huge cherry tree in our back yard provided countless hours of relaxation and fun for one little boy – my son.
As he swung, his feet would move back and forth to maintain a rhythm, and he would hum, hum ever so quietly to himself. He was content with life. Content with himself. Happy. His world was peaceful, safe, gentle.
But for countless children around the world, their world is anything but peaceful, or safe or gentle. And they are anything but content or happy.
That’s not fair. That’s not right. That’s not the way the Universe is supposed to unfold. And it not only saddens me, it makes me angry.
So I dream.
I dream of a time when all children are safe from abuse.
… when soon-to-be parents take parenting classes when they first discover they are expecting a baby.
… when children go to school where they will learn the basics of language, mathematics, science, history, civics, geography, social responsibility, and where they will be exposed to physical education, the arts and play.
… when children arrive to school well-fed, and ready to learn.
I dream of a time when parents are offered support when they need it.
… when teachers are respected, well paid, and supported.
… when children are safe safe at home, safe at school, safe in their communities, safe from ICE.
I will continue to dream.
And I will act … by exercising my right to vote and vote for candidates to provide laws that protect, educate, nourish and nurture children so that they can live with clean air, clear water, nourishing food, safe homes / schools / communities, responsible parents, and freedom.
For almost four decades, I have loved Reginald. Over the years, some people have told me that Reginald is plain, ordinary, ugly.
Sure, … his legs are bowed. … his arms are pudgy. … his ears are big. … his body is out of shape. … his eyes bulge. … his ears are large – very large. … he’s the size of a three year old and his clothes are all hand-me-downs. … his neck is short and almost non-existent. His mouth is – well … “not typical.”
But to me, Reginald is lovely. He is a reminder to me about Margaret Wolfe Hungerford’s famous words: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
Why do we allow society to dictate what is beautiful … of value … worthwhile … and what is not?
Reginald speaks words that penetrate deep to the heart of the hearer He makes me laugh He listens with intentionality and concentration He … There’s just sooooo much that I love about Reginald. Ugly? Not at all! Reginald is a delight. He helps people forget their worries and fears. He brings smiles to their faces. He loves children – and they love him.
One Christmas Eve, Reginald appeared in the pulpit of a church … literally “in” the pulpit, sitting on top of the lectern. People listened. People learned. People loved. In him, people saw beauty.
Reginald is not a human being. He was created in a day-long puppet-making workshop. When I had sewn on his last arm and began to put clothes on him, other participants laughed. They said he was ugly and that my creation was “anything but creative or artistic.” They were wrong.
I look at Reginald and I see beauty. I look at my family and I see beauty. I look at my neighbourhood and I see beauty. I look at my friends and I see beauty. I look at this world and I see beauty.
Why do we allow society to dictate what is beautiful, of value, worthwhile … and what is not? Why do some people have difficulty seeing themselves as a precious child of the universe who is blessed – who has gifts to share … beauty to reflect … intelligence to use … wisdom to impart and at the same time, much yet to learn? The Creator does not make junk.
The Creator makes beauty. Reginald helps me remember to look at the world and all who inhabit it, in a special way.
Beauty. It is all around. We just need eyes to see.
Thank you, Reginald, for helping us all see beauty.
Long ago, Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius was born. Considered to be one of the most important Stoic philosophers, Aurelius penned these words: “When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive: to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
The world seems to be going crazy on so many levels. It would be easy to give way to the fear, the anger, the hopelessness, the racism, the hatred.
It would be easy …. but I refuse to give power to evil.
Today, I awoke. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke. I could breathe. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke. I could think. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke, I enjoyed something. Many things. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke. I loved. … I am grateful.
Each day, may we waken and find something each day … no matter how small for which we are grateful.
I picked these flowers from my garden. I am grateful for them and I am grateful that today, I awoke.
when life hits unexpectedly, it hurts. and when it hurts, it can wound
not just physically
not just emotionally
not just spiritually.
sometimes all three.
when life hits unexpectedly and pain results when life brings exhaustion beyond imagining when the rain of sadness is in our heart what then?
hopefully …
the Holy One of Compassion will be with us,
holding us close when we are weary, hurt, alone. (may Holy Compassion be with us)
the Holy One of Mercy will be with us, forgiving those who have caused pain, forgiving ourselves, forgiving Holy Other. (may Holy Mercy be with us – you / me)
the Holy One of Gentleness will be with us,
caressing us with sunlight, rain and summer winds
and shining through us to all who hurt and are lonely. (may Holy Gentleness be with us)
the Holy One of Wonder will be with us,
delighting us with sunrises, daisies, songs, baby’s laughter,
enchanting our senses, filling our hearts, giving us wide-open eyes. (may Holy Wonder be with us.)
the Holy One of Simplicity will be with us,
opening us to a clear vision of what is truth
and dealings with others will be marked by honesty, which is simplicity. (may Holy Simplicity be with us.)
the Holy One of Patience will be with us,
waiting with outstretched arms
and encouraging us to “be still, deep within ourselves.” (May Holy Patience be with us.)
the Holy One of Love will be with us,
listening, drawing us close as we tremble, lighting fires of faith and hope in hearts. (may Holy Love be with us.)
the Holy One of Tenderness will be with us,
enfolding us with the desire to bring warmth
to those who are dis-eased in body, mind or spirit. (may Holy Tenderness be with us.)
the God of Strength will be with us,
holding us close, on eagle’s wings
and we will be the sacrament of God’s strength to others. (may Holy Strength be with us.)
the God of Peace will be with us,
stilling the heart that hammers with fear or doubt or confusion,
bringing the warm mantle of peace cover those who are troubled or anxious. (may Holy Peace be with us)
the God of Joy will be with us,
thrilling us with holy nearness,
filling our heart to fullness, and our soul with an awe that is profound. (may Holy Joy be with us)
and hopefully, the God of Forgiveness will be with us,
encouraging us with strength, peace, and love. (may Holy Forgiveness be with us) so that “when life hits”
we have a sense
that we are not alone.
Amen. So be it. Amen.
This prayer can be adapted for personal use by using the word “me” or “you” in place of “us”
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men <sic> are created equal.”
Tomorrow is July 4th. Americans will be marking Independence Day and its adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776 which includes this phrase: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men <sic> are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
“All are created equal… have certain unalienable Rights”. Really?
Unalienable rights since yesterday’s passing of the bill that is about to hurt millions of Americans – that will slash Medicaid leaving 17 million people without health care – that will close rural hospitals – that will devastate hursing homes – that will cut nutrition assistance for poor children – that will add trillions to their national debt – that will slash Medicaid leaving 17 million people without health care? – that will cause deaths – that will affect farmers (and food chain) – and more
Lately, I’ve been looking at the flowers in my back yard. I see my bleeding hearts wave in the wind and am grateful for ‘bleeding heart’ people around the world who speak out to support those in desperate situations.
On this July 4th weekend, I particularly remember and pray for ‘bleeding heart’ Americans who have been and continue to speak out … against Project 2025 … against the big bad bill … against the injustices of SCOTUS decisions; who are talking about Project 2025 and acknowledging that it is real; who are holding rallies in support of minorities who face racism, hatred, victimization, migrants who have done nothing illegal; who are in solidarity with women who have been told that even if their pregnancy were caused by incest or rape or that their life were in danger, there would be no health care for them; who feel and express compassion for children whose parents can’t provide for adequate housing, medical/dental care, nourishing food, schooling, socialization; in support of physicians who follow the principles of medical ethics (including medical confidentiality and non-maleficence i.e. not to inflict harm), yet who are forced to break medical confidentiality by revealing the names of women seeking abortions; who are allies of LGBTQ2S+ whose lives will be dramatically changed if draconian laws are implemented; who stand up for, stand beside, and stand with people of differing ethnicities, skin colours, sexualities, abilities, religions who are mocked, ridiculed, harassed, physically attacked, kidnapped, killed.
It is difficult to wish “Happy July 4th” this year when so many are not equal, even though the United States Declaration of Independence (posted at the end of this reflection), notes that all citizens “are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
They may be “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,” but those Rights are being eroded more and more each day and particularly yesterday, July 3, 2025, when the House of Representatives voted to support what was known as the Big Beautiful Bill. Those rights have been destroyed by Republican politicians who have forgotten or chosen to ignore, the oaths they took to “support and defend” the Constitution of the United States.
It is difficult to wish Americans “Happy July 4th”.
May the people of the United States have courage and strength, vision and persistence to “Keep on, Keeping On” in the pursuit of their unalienable rights by speaking out, speaking up and voting “blue” in November – voting for people who will bring the country back to the democratic vision of their founding fathers.
July 4, 2025 will not be a day to wish people “Happy July Fourth.” The Bill that was presented and voted on in both the Senate and House of Representatives was passed by the Republicans. The blame is theirs. The deaths that will come will be on them. Had Senator Murkowski had the courage to vote “no,” the Bill would have stopped there and not gone on to the House of Representatives. She said she voted in favour of it as she believed her first responsibility was to the people of Alaska. She said that she had received promises from the President that would reduce some of the effect Alaskans would feel because of the passing of the Bill. Clearly she believes he will honour his commitment to her. He will not. Nor will he honour anything he told the House Representatives who changed their vote at the last minute.
Read the Declaration of Independence and see if, after July 3rd’s vote, you recognize the United States the way it was intended.
Then, after the shock wears off and more migrants who have entered legally, done no criminal act, yet have been arrested, detained, deported to another country or the concentration camp in the Everglades in Florida, escalates … as hospitals close; as trans are kicked out of the military; as seniors are forced out of nursing homes; as children die of malnutrition – become even more active and prepare for the mid-terms (God willing nothing will deter them from happening) so that the United States (as intended by the writers of the Declaration of Independence intended) can be a democratic country once again.
On July 2, 1776, Congress voted to dissolve the connection between “this country” and Great Britain, declaring the “United Colonies of North America” to be free and independent states.
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776 The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America:
“When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton
Proud to be a Canadian? Yep. Happy to be a Canadian? Very much. Grateful to be a Canadian? Understatement.
Today is Canada Day. Some people are celebrating! Local towns are having parades … people have the day off work … families and friends are together at picnics, on outings, visiting one another. Canadian flags are flying … happiness and pride for many because there is much for which we can be grateful.
Yet many people are criticizing our country … pointing fingers … questioning political decisions made in the past and present … wishing history had revealed different stories.
Frustration, dismay, grief, embarrassment, anger, disappointment, shame, resentment are being felt – like any day.
But I wonder – I wonder if … for one day, just one day, we celebrated … not dwell on the negative.
I wonder if … for one day, just one day, we focused on the goodness of this country and not complain
I wonder if for one day, just one day, we expressed gratitude for the privilege of being Canadian.
May all Canadians and Canadian-Wanna-Be’s have a happy and safe Canada Day. 🙂
This is not the usual Father’s Day reflection. Father’s Day – a day marked in North America and other parts of the world to remember and celebrate the fathers in our lives … biological, foster, adoptive, grandfathers, etc. And at the same time, it is ‘usual’, because it speaks of love … love of a daughter for a father when he was fully present as “Dad,” and love of a daughter for a father who began to fade away from being “Dad.”
It was many decades ago when I learned of Dad’s dementia diagnosis.
It was a journey that our whole family took, but particularly Mom, as she watched the man she deeply loved, fade away. Dad was a brilliant man – highly intelligent; articulate; wonderful conversationalist; art historian; consultant for the National Art Gallery in Canada; entrepreneur; stockbroker; loving and devoted father, husband and grandfather; autodidact and listed in Canada’s “Who’s Who.” Not surprisingly, none of us could understand the dementia diagnosis for him.
The “why” questions emerged. At that time, so long ago, little was known about the disease. And there were no guidelines for caregivers.
Mom devoted herself to Dad and as a result, her health suffered. We almost lost her. A decision had to be made and because Mom emotionally couldn’t do that, I flew across Canada to be with them, signed the paperwork and travelled with them to the care facility. While it was one of the most difficult decisions and days of my life, it must have been far worse for both of them.
I lived over 4,000 miles away. My brother lived over 2,000 miles away. He was seriously ill. We couldn’t be there on a regular basis and take some of the caregiving of Dad off Mom’s shoulders. Mom was on her own. As she no longer drove a car, she took the bus – an hour’s bus ride to the facility in the morning, and an hour’s bus ride home at night in all kinds of weather. From the day I signed the papers and Dad moved into institutional care, Mom was with him – breakfast, lunch, dinner – every day. Not surprisingly, her health suffered. We almost lost her. Physically. Her doctor became so concerned that he told her (and phoned to tell me) that she had to stay away from the facility and couldn’t visit Dad for six months. We almost lost her again. This time, emotionally.
She just couldn’t imagine not being with Dad every day. Her grief was compounded by guilt and exhaustion at all levels.
When her doctor intervened, Mom was understandably angry and upset. But she listened, heard my concern for her and my reassurance that Dad was safe and well cared for, did as she was advised and came to live nearby me. Fiercely independent, she agreed to the move but wanted to maintain her independence. Slowly, her health began to improve. And slowly she began to see and understand the importance of self-care.
When she returned to Dad, she was healthy. And, she was wiser. She knew how to balance her time … time with Dad and time for personal rest and re-creation. After Dad died, Mom formed the first Alzheimer’s Association in Ontario. No surprise to anyone who knew her. Mom (Joy Mack) was a woman of many gifts and talents. She was a courageous woman with a vision who was determined to help people in Canada and their families faced with the diagnosis of dementia/Alzheimer’s and to this day, thanks to her, the Alzheimer’s Association in Ontario is an integral source of information, counselling and support for those dealing with dementia either as caregivers or diagnosed with the illness.
That was long ago. Today, diagnoses of dementia/Alzheimer’s continue to be pronounced. And as I get older, it seems that particular diagnosis is happening more and more frequently. The road ahead is not an easy one for caregivers of dementia patients. The person they knew, is no longer the same person. As the illness is first diagnosed and then progresses, it can take more and more of a beloved spouse, parent, sibling, grandparent, far away from reality (sometimes, slowly; sometimes, quickly). Gratefully, new medication is delaying progression in many instances but still, the changes are evident and there is deep pain at all levels for all concerned.
While dementia patients endure many basic frustrations and losses (memory is only one), caregivers endure frustration and loss when changes in their loved one emerge … the ability to enter into a meaningful conversation becomes short-lived or non-existent … the ability to understand banking or technology or recipes or even how the phone works becomes short-lived or non-existent … the ability to understand it to be a particular day or month or year … the ability to remember a birthday or anniversary or Christmas etc..
As the illness progresses, things can change for the caregiver even more … loss, grief, reality set in as the realization that the above ‘abilities’ are not functioning and no matter what they do, they cannot help their loved one to regain those abilities … stress can bring physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional responses / reactions – not sleeping well – exhaustion – not able to concentrate – anger – reliance on alcohol / prescription drugs / medication to help ‘get through the day’ – social isolation due to not wanting to leave their loved one alone for too long – frustration at having to repeat answers to the questions over and over and over – patience is no longer part of their personality – a sense of guilt arises about leaving the person alone at home while the caregiver gets their hair done, goes grocery-shopping, takes a course/workshop, etc..
What to do? Self-care. How that self-care is manifest, is different for every caregiver because every situation is different. But the directions of flight attendants in plane emergencies: (“If the oxygen mask drops down, put yours on first and then help the person who needs help”) are a guide: self care, first and foremost. Dementia is a difficult journey for all concerned – the person diagnosed, family members who try to help by bringing up memories of the past and say “Do you remember when we … you … I did such and such? Do you remember … fill in the blanks.”
The reality is, they don’t remember and realizing they don’t remember only serves to cause them distress. So we must not go that route with them. We must “be” with them – where they are … in their time zone, in their physical space, in their understanding of situations and people. Not insist that they are with us in our time zone, physical space, understanding of situations and people.
My hope and prayer is … that family and friends will remember the importance of not asking the “do you remember” questions. May those who are afflicted with dementia know they are loved. May family members and friends not judge the decisions caregivers make for themselves, or for their loved one who has been diagnosed with dementia, for they are doing the very best they can.
And may caregivers remember the importance of self-care and take care of themselves.
First.
Their loved ones would want them to.
A PERSONAL ASIDE: Yes, this might be an unusual Father’s Day reflection, but hopefully it is seen in light of tribute to a man who faced his devastating illness with courage. The man I remember this day and many other days, Albert Edward Mack (Eddie) was a gentle, wise man – a loving and respectful-of-all-people man. The lessons he taught were ‘gift’ as I was growing up, and even more so now that I am older than he was when he died.
This day, I remember Albert Edward (Eddie) Mack with much love and deep gratitude.
Rest in peace, Dad, this Father’s Day and all days. You were a wonderful father, grandfather, husband to Mom and so much more. I honour you. Your memory is such a blessing.
I love learning. No, scratch that. I’m passionate about learning! I try to learn something new every day. Some days the learning is huge. Other days it’s subtle. Some days the learning is about me … what I believe, who I am, things I need to work on. Some days the learning is about others … how hurtful, resentful, unloving, unkind, mean-spirited, unforgiving, people can be … how generous, gracious, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, people can be. Some days the learning involves a new approach … to technology or art or gardening or writing or music or a new chess move or craft or history or literature or religion or politics.
And some days, it’s a combination.
Each night before I go to bed, I ask myself “what have you learned today?”
Recently a difficult moment and at the same time grace-filled moment, helped highlight a lesson again.
It was the lesson of forgiveness. Again.
Just when I think I’ve learned this lesson, another situation / person / event reminds me that forgiveness happens over and over and over and over again.
Forgiveness of others … forgiveness of self … forgiveness of God/the Creator.
They’re not easy lessons, but they are important and integral to spiritual growth and self-awareness.
This is a difficult time for many. Terrible things are happening. … The people of Ukraine continue to be at war. … Say the words “Israel, Palestine, Gaza ” and people “take sides.” … People flee their homes in the hope of finding refuge from fire, ICE, earthquakes, tornados and more … Fear, anger, loneliness, suspicion, hatred permeate conversations at home and work and on social media This is a difficult time for many.
The concept of ‘gentleness’ … the quality of being kind … comes to mind. Gentleness has disappeared and is no longer present. Why? … Can gentleness exist when fear overwhelms? … Can gentleness exist when suspicion transcends reason? … Can gentleness exist when anger rages? … Can gentleness exist when hatred fuels communities, families, elections, countries, politicians, so that there is no space for hope to filter in, for fear to be lifted, for hatred to dissipate?
Being gentle does *not* mean ignoring the role we can play by … being a voice for the voiceless … righting wrongs … challenging principalities and powers by our words, thoughts, actions, prayers.
Being gentle *does* mean … speaking in tones and words that don’t threaten … acting in ways that don’t incite … “thinking through” situations and responding rather than reacting. … listening to the voices of those who have walked similar paths before us: Gandhi, Anne Frank, Malala, Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus, Elie Wiesel, the Dalai Lama and many others.
Being gentle *does* mean … not giving power to hurtful words in personal emails, social media posts, phone calls, snail mail letters … focus on addressing wrongs in our own community we’ve overlooked or ignored in the past because it was happening to *the other* and not to us, because we didn’t want to get involved, or we didn’t think it would make a difference.
Hurtful words and actions can push us forward so we give financial support to organizations who are being threatened … offer sanctuary in our homes, our cities, our countries … speak gentle words of strength, courage, steadfastness and hope to those who are deeply wounded by the rhetoric and chaos.
Embodying a life of gentleness could mean much to individuals, families, communities, countries and this world.
May we be gentle with one another. May we be gentle with ourselves. “Be gentle with yourself and others. You are a child of the Universe. So are they. You have a right to be here. They do, too. So let us be gentle with others and ourselves.” <an adaptation of American writer Max Ehrmann who penned the “Desiderata.”>
With Mother’s Day on the horizon, may we be mindful that there are women who will be celebrating and giving thanks while at the same time, there will be women who will be grieving and in pain. All on the same day.
With Mother’s Day on the horizon, I think of and pray forexperiencing a wide range of emotions … the women who never birthed a child … the women who miscarried … the women who were infertile (or their partner was) … the women who had an abortion … the women whose child was stillborn … the women whose child had serious health issues … the women whose child ran away and put into custodial care … the women whose child was raped … the women whose child was taken away at birth by authorities … the women whose child was kidnapped, arrested, deported … the women whose child died due to the pandemic, accident, overdose, illness, murder … the women who began life as male, but knew they were not … the women whose child lives in fear … the women whose child became alienated from them and there is little or no communication … the women whose adoptions fell through … the women whose artificial insemination didn’t work … the women whose surrogate changed her mind & kept the baby … the women whose child is in prison … the women whose child had a debilitating physical/mental disability … the women whose child committed suicide … the women who were surrogate mothers, carried the child to term, but who never became that child’s parent. … the women in countries at war, trying to be strong for their children while separated from their partners, families, country and living with explosions, food shortages and the threat of rape, annihilation. … all whose mothers have died
With Mother’s Day on the horizon,I think of, and pray for those who are rejoicing because … they gave birth to a healthy child … their child had children and they became a grandmother … they adopted a child … each of us – for we all had a biological mother and were given life.
With Mother’s Day on the horizon, I think of and pray for those who are mothers, but may not see their role to be one of mothering: foster moms, spiritual moms, mentor moms.
With Mother’s Day on the horizon, I think of and pray for those who lost their mother through death or alienation or deportation and all who suffered abuse from their mother.
This year, with the reality that Roe v Wade was overturned in the United States, I think and pray for the countless woman who will be forced to carry a child to term … regardless of rape, incest, age, or their own death.
May acknowledgment of Mother’s Day, be done with sensitivity, compassion and kindness in churches families social media and law courts.
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“Mother’s Day” (a secular celebration) in North America is not the same as “Mothering Sunday” which is a Christian celebration, celebrated on the 4th Sunday in Lent in the UK and Ireland since the 16th century.
