“I’m scared – afraid – terrified. J’ai peur.” These are words the world is hearing every day on the news, around the office, on social media, in our own heads.
For centuries throughout the world, there have been hurricanes, landslides, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, fires, etc. that have struck fear in the hearts of people.
Cancer, Covid and other medical diagnoses have shaken and continue to shake people to the core.
The January 6th attack on the capitol of the U.S. terrified people who thought that civil unrest would be followed by civil war – or maybe WW111.
The unimaginable earthquakes killing over thousands of people are soul-wrenching and foreboding for those living on earthquake faults.
The Chinese balloon and unknown object that were shot down over the U.S., sparked frightening images of espionage and evoked the fear that nothing is private anymore.
Russia’s ongoing assault on the people of Ukraine, a daily reminder that if Ukraine falls, other countries will not be safe and neither will democracy.
The bombing of Iran by the US and Israel … the killing of the children/staff at the Iranian school … the killing of sailors in international waters … the death of US armed forces following orders in Iran …
And then there’s DJT, JDV, EM, the minions of Project 2025 and the daily decisions made and the horrifying consequences paid by others who have done nothing wrong except … looked different … spoke with an accent … were in the wrong place at the wrong time … somehow got onto a ‘list’ … didn’t vote the way DJT wanted them to vote …
Anxiety seems unrelating and fear is rising. Feelings of helplessness, abandonment, and lack of control overwhelm. Breathing becomes shallow. Hearts race. Minds won’t stop thinking.
Images seem everpresent: images of the children; the elderly; the disabled; the farewells; the frigid weather; the explosions; the baby buggies at the train station; the line-ups for food and water; the babies born in bomb shelters; the demolished hospitals / schools / churches; the bodies; the families running to escape the fires … the images haven’t stopped. Neither has the fear.
What to do in the midst of experiencing fear that is “gut-wrenching / can’t explain / keep-me-awake” type of fear that is being felt as the horror of evil surfaces and spreads? What to do if God seems absent? Is there anything we can do to allay the fear, or at least not have such fear so present all the time?
Perhaps there is … sometimes. And sometimes is often the only thing to hang on to.
Sometimes – admitting our fear to ourself, to another … helps. Admitting our fear can help move the darkness out and bring healing.
Sometimes – naming the evil … helps. There is power in naming the evil. The man known as Jesus did that … often. Sometimes – something as simple as saying, praying, thinking, whispering the word ‘peace’ as we gently, and slowly, literally inhale a second of peace into our body, mind and spirit – helps.
Sometimes – saying, praying, thinking, whispering the word ‘fear,’ as we literally exhale the consequences of that fear from our body … – helps.
Sometimes – reminding ourselves that though we may be experiencing God as absent, others are experiencing the presence of God in different ways: the selflessness of volunteers and community/social organizations; the plants/shrubs/flowers, the spontaneous laughter of a child; the medical and scientific miracles that continue to emerge and surface; the courage of reporters and journalists who speak the truth in spite of threats of job loss; the indefatigable decisions being made by Judges who are making rulings counter to what is expected by DJT; the peaceful protests …
Sometimes – creating something in the kitchen, garden, shop, studio, on the computer, in our Journal – helps.
Sometimes – repeating Dame Julian of Norwich’s words (“All shall be well. All shall be well. And all manner of thing shall be well”) can help and using our breath to say them: … as we inhale, say / think / whisper / pray / sing “all shall be well” … as we exhale, say / think / whisper / pray / sing “all shall be well”; inhale “and all manner of thing”; exhale “shall be well” – helps
Sometimes – remembering that somewhere in the world, every minute of every day, someone is meditating, inviting peace for other; sitting cross-legged and chanting; saying the Rosary; receiving Communion; reciting the Shema; praying the Daily Office; thinking / sending / praying / whispering good thoughts for the world; holding those experiencing fear in their heart, mind and spirit; thinking a comforting thought – helps
Each of these contribute to an energy force that is more powerful than negativity.
We can admit to saying/thinking “J’ai peur … I’m afraid” when we feel frightened, for when we release the fear in simply acknowledging its presence somehow, it doesn’t have the same power over us as it did before we admitted the fear within us.
Yes, I admit … “J’ai peur … I’m afraid.” But I refuse to let fear stifle my ability to speak out/speak up … I refuse to let fear paralyze me into social isolation … I refuse to let fear stop me from continuing to be informed, knowledgeable about the truth of what is happening … and I refuse to let fear tell me that there is no future.
I’m getting “up there” in the chronological age listing. Naww, let’s face it, I’m “up there!” Some of my friends are up here too – or are close by ,and they’re anxious. They’re anticipating all sorts of unpleasant things that are ahead, especially in matters of health, finances and overall well-being – from wrinkles to mobility/hearing/vision/dental/limb issues/loss of friends and more. I hear them say things like “I’m almost 70 or 75 or 80 or …” As if a particular age were a hurdle to “get over.”
The additional matter of the world feeling uncertain, (economically, politically, socially (feeling ‘heavy’ as some of my friends put it), it’s true. Responsibilities multiply. Losses accumulate. Personal disappointments surface. Business setbacks become reality. Family tensions, spiritual doubts can arise. Yet I’ve come to believe that aging gives something powerful: CONTEXT. As seniors, we recognize patterns; we remember other storms that passed. Context.
Aging has much to give. It can … teach self-acceptance: the urgency to prove oneself can soften into the focus on living truthfully … provide steadiness in decisions: shaped less by impulse and more by long-view judgment … expand a sense of compassion: as we understand that everyone is navigating their own unseen struggles … offer opportunities for self-reflection, humility and trust: showing growth in faith / spiritual life.
To be sure, aging doesn’t remove difficulty. Instead, it can strengthen our capacity to hold difficulty without being undone by it. In so doing, we realize that strength is patient and grows.
It’s true – there are seasons when change hits us in the face, feels unwelcome and is painful: when roles evolve, health shifts, long-held plans have to be revised. But change can also invite re-invention … opportunities to consider ‘possibilities’ as we learn to be intentional about holding on to what matters, and shedding what no longer seems to matter. And that includes downsizing material possessions.
Aging is, in a nutshell, an opportunity to continue ‘becoming.’ It’s not always easy. But it is meaningful. And surely ‘meaning’ (more than youth) is what sustains a life well-lived?
My late husband was a calligrapher and penned our favourite saying … “Age is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” <Mark Twain>. Hans was a lot older than I, but that didn’t stop him (or me), from playing. It’s true, as George Bernard Shaw wrote “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” As much as I love Twain’s words, I love Eleanor Roosevelt’s words on this subject even more: “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature but beautiful old people are works of art.”
I like the thought that I’m a work of art – you’re a work of art – each of us, privileged to live into our senior years – are works of art! So I continue … facing the issues ahead, personally and politically … and believing, as CS Lewis said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” One of my goals is to continue writing these ‘Soulistry: Artistry of the Soul’ reflections. Not having Hans by my side anymore, there is no one close by to share such reflections, so I write – “journal” in my blog.
What goal / dream are you setting? How are you a work of art? What ways are you dealing with what life hands you, with an attitude, a spirituality of playfulness? May we all remember that “Aging is not to mourn what is lost, but to celebrate what remains.”(unknown author)
It’s not a good day for many in the world. And especially not for those in Ukraine. Four years ago today, Russia invaded Ukraine.
On this, the fourth anniversary of that terrible event, tangling in colour helps distract me from the sterile black/white images in my mind of menacing trucks rolling down city streets, people hovering in bombed-out hospitals, children growing up terrified, and democracy on a fragile thread in that and far too many countries.
As we move about each day – as we drive, shop, create, attend our meetings, appointments, go to work/school/worship, may we think of the people of Ukraine and other places in the world where that same scenario is commonplace.
Let us think ‘hope’. Let us pray ‘peace’. Let us send thoughts of ‘protection’ to them. May freedom be theirs. May their reality change soon and may the people of Ukraine know that the world has not forgotten them.
Colour and Hope! I send them colour – and hope – this, and all, days. We need colour and hope in this world as reminders that rainbows still cross skies – somewhere. Reminders that children still dance and sing – somewhere. Reminders that freedom still exists – somewhere.
SLAVA UKRAINI!
********************** (An aside: this piece of ‘colour and hope’ was done on something called ‘scratch paper’. I don’t find it easy to work with, but love the surprising and unexpected colours that emerge and thought it the perfect medium for this reflection! That’s my hope and prayer for the people of Ukraine … that there will be surprising and unexpected victories for them that will remind them that there are people of every colour around the world who are praying, supporting, surrounding them with thoughts of love and protection.
For those familiar with Zentangle®, this is an attempt at a HQ fragment called ‘Obawa’.
In many parts of the world, tomorrow marks the beginning of a six-week period called the Season of Lent … a time of introspection – of “slowing down and taking stock.”
The Season of Lent is not signalling an end to the war in Ukraine or a recognition that very bad decisions, impacting the lives of countless lives are being made. But it can be an opportunity of metanoia. For those who observe the Season of Lent, many follow the practice of “giving something up” for Lent (meat, candy, chocolate, liquor etc), I’ve never liked that perspective. Instead, I choose to “put on” instead … put on love.
But why only for those who observe the Season of Lent? Why not everyone?
These are difficult times. It’s not unusual for people to be frightened, scared, terrified. It’s not unusual that negativity quickly spreads.
Over the years, many words have been used as metaphors for love. My metaphor for love this year is ‘baby stroller’. Yes, it’s a surprising metaphor, but this photo of a train station in Poland shows baby strollers left by Polish moms for Ukrainian moms escaping the war in Ukraine with babies in their arms. The Polish moms “gave -up” the convenience of the stroller for their own child and “put on” love – for people they didn’t even know.
For the Forty Days and Nights of the Season of Lent, I won’t be ignoring the reality of the political chaos. But when I speak-up-and-out about injustice, cruelty, evil, I’ll find a way to “even-the-playing-field”, in some way. Metanoia!
After reading far too many of the Epstein files, after reading far too much garbage about our Prime Minister (who not only is doing the very best he can, but is giving hope to many Canadians), after reading the “Monsters in Plain Sight” piece by Charlie Angus, this morning, my body, mind and spirit recoiled – even more than it has been doing lately.
I knew I needed to get outdoors. I knew I had to experience something soul-soothing. After a short car ride, I went for a little walk close to my home.
It was misty in the background before me. In the foreground, the barren tree stood tall and erect and the evergreen tree stood proud, seemingly “in charge.” The reflection in the water of the little island gently had me reflect on “upside-down” … like our world these days … like the “upside-down” disorientation deep within me as I read those articles.
The reflection only took a few moments of stillness, of observation of what was before me, around me, within me.
And then it came to me – I was experiencing “upside-down peace.” Upside-down peace that says that … even when it feels as if the world is upside-down … even if it only lasts a moment, peace is still possible.
As I stood looking at the view before me this morning, my soul inhaled the beauty my mind grasped the messages my heart became still for a moment. and in that moment, I knew peace.
I don’t live in the United States. I have family there – have dear friends there – was born there – have neighbours / siblings / strangers I care about, there.
What has been going on in that country, particularly lately in Minneapolis with protestors lawfully resisting, ICE agents illegally assaulting and once again, murdering, my emotions are like so many others, raw, reactive, and more, as I try to reflect and recognize that hope still exists, that goodness will overcome.
A black pen found its way into my hand and squiggles and waves and patterns and words began to surface tonight. Living alone, there is no one here with whom I can process it all because I live alone. I found that it felt good to say the words out loud, write the words, spit the words – and realize that tiny fragments of hope and rootedness and faith are there too. They’re few, but they’re there. And I am grateful to see that they are – they exist – they’re there.
So I will hold on to the reality that is deep within me this night. I will hold on to that reality – that hope – for the people of the United States, the people of Iran, the people of Greenland, the people of Ukraine, the people of Palestine, the people of Canada, the people of other parts around the world who are fighting for justice and democracy, for without even a smidgeon of hope, evil wins. It cannot.
If you’re having trouble sleeping, pick up a journal and write your thoughts – squiggle a wiggly line and add some words – talk into a recording device. Let those deep emotions surface for a short moment so they can be acknowledged and no longer have such a strong hold on you.
Drawing this, whatever-it-is, tonight has not been as good as having someone to talk with about it all, but it’s been helpful. It’s one way to get what is deep within me, out, If only for a little bit. And isn’t that part of what resistance is all about? Put the little bits together and change can happen … our own emotional well-being as we try to deal with it all, and the situation itself.
May sleep come this night … to all who live in fear … to those who dread the approaching storms … to all who were present or have watched the videos of today’s murder of a 37 year old American who was defending a young woman tackled to the ground by ICE … and to all who grieve, remembering particularly the family of Alex Jeffrey Pretti. Rest in peace, Alex. May you rest in peace.
A YEAR AGO TODAY I posted this … and today, one year later, it’s not just the United States that faces all of this, but the world.
On this first of the second 1460 days, it is still true. Tragically true. American friends. Canadian friends. Venezuelan friends. Iranian friends. Greenland friends. Friends ….
may courage be yours may courage be ours may courage infill, surround, reign one day at a time
***************
(originally posted January 20, 2025)
on this first day of 1460 days decisions became law retaliation stood firm guardians of liberty were stifled] rights have been destroyed
courage may you have courage for yourselves, for LGBTQIA2S+ for those facing deportation for clergy who will offer sanctuary for those who fear loss of medical coverage, social security, the constitution
A YEAR AGO TODAY I posted this … and today, one year later, it’s not just the United States that faces all of this, but the world … with all of what was posted a year ago today when DJT took office for the second time on day one of his presidency of the United States.
On this first of the second 1460 days, it is still true. Tragically true. And more so.
American friends. Canadian friends. Venezuelan friends. Iranian friends. Greenland friends.
Friends …. may courage be yours may courage be ours may courage infill, surround, reign one day at a time
***************
(originally posted January 20, 2025)
on the first day of 1460 days decisions became law retaliation stood firm guardians of liberty were stifled rights have been destroyed
courage may you have courage for yourselves, for LGBTQIA2S+ for those facing deportation for clergy who will offer sanctuary for those who fear loss of medical coverage, social security, the constitution
A friend in Greenland ended her email today with these words: “God help us!” A reply from the United States to a FB post today, ended with these words: “God help us!”
I’ve heard that same cry from friends in the United States … Canada … Ukraine … Palestine … Israel … Uganda .. the Philippines and other parts of the world where I’ve been blessed by friendships that have evolved and flourished over time.
Today, more and more people are fearful — frightened that their country will be absorbed / conquered / bombed by another country … fearing that they might not return home from work, school, the hospital, the grocery store, church/synagogue/temple … terrified that their children will be abandoned/abducted because of ICE agents. More and more people are beginning to be afraid to leave their homes, fearful of even opening the front door.
Countries are asking for help … Reuters reports that Germany, Sweden, the Netherlands, and Canada have begun deploying military personnel to Greenland at the invitation of Denmark. The deployed are fearful that this multinational movement, at this time “a symbolic and strategic show of unity following renewed threats by U.S. President Donald Trump to annex / conquer the territory” will escalate and they may never return home.
“God help us” people write – and pray – whisper. That phrase begs the question – “Is there a God?” And. if there is, “Why isn’t all of the chaos and evil stopped?”
I believe there is a God – not human-like that lives in the sky and dangles strings like a puppeteer making good things happen, bad things go away, but a God/Entity/Creator/Source/By-Whatever-Name, that created the world and humanity, giving human beings free will – to make decisions, to make mistakes, to learn and grow and become the very best person they can be.
I also believe in the existence of evil that can fester through greed and a hunger for power. That belief is tempered by a belief that evil is not as strong as is Goodness which happens each and every day in some way, in some place, through some human being, to some one or ones, directly or indirectly.
I believe in God – a God that works through people … like those who are blogging, protesting, speaking up and out; those who are peacefully resisting, calling their political leaders, helping others get to polling stations; those in positions of leadership (political, economic, media, education, business, etc.) who exercise that leadership from positions of integrity; those helping strangers or neighbours or friends in simple ways, in quiet ways, in gentle ways; those deployed in fragile countries and situations and are doing their jobs in accordance with the vows they took.
I believe that God is at work – through each of us.
And, while as much as I wish the works that continue to show me that God exists through each of us, I also wish they would result in tangible positive outcomes now (!). But, I am mindful that evil exists and that barriers are in place because those in powerful positions seek more money and power – for themselves. And so it takes longer for “God” to be seen working.
I believe it is happening and that we will see the results – – some day – some way – some how.
Do you believe that? If not, can you set semantics and God-language aside, and join in the hope that is in the goodness in some people who are quietly, gently, and sometimes loudly, in-your-face yet still legally “helping” – to make a difference?
History tells me that even in the darkest of times, God exists … through us. I look forward to change happening through God/us and bringing peace in this troubled world.
