I like to believe that in every legend, every parable, every story, there is a tidbit of ‘something’ that can bring good news. The legend of the Poinsettia plant might be such a story – if it is true. But even if it is not true, it is a good story. It’s a story about love. And a story about love is perfect for the Fourth Sunday in the Season of Advent with its theme of love.
The story so impressed Joel Roberts Poinsett (first U.S. Ambassador to Mexico and botany-lover), that he brought the bright red star-shaped flower to the United States from Mexico. And that is how, it is said, that the Poinsettia plant got its name. But what was the story – the legend?
Little Maria and her brother Pablo were very poor. They barely had enough to eat two meals a day. Each year, their village church in Mexico created a large Manger scene and everyone wanted to go and offer a gift to the Baby Jesus.
Even though the children had no money and couldn’t buy a gift, they wanted to see the baby and bring him a present. Maria thought they could bring some weeds growing along the roadside to make the bed softer for the baby and decorate the baby’s crib. But when they arrived with the weeds, other children teased and mocked them for bringing such a lowly gift. Maria and Pablo began to cry.
Suddenly, the weeds were transformed into bright red petals that looked like stars! Everyone was in awe. It soon became clear that what the sister and brother had brought the Christ Child was far dearer than the most expensive present that could be bought. They had brought the gift of Love. Precious. Valuable beyond any other gift.
If you’re still uncertain about the importance of love, how about this wee story about Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore …
****************************************** One day, Pooh and Piglet realized that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore. “Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh. “Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a glum sounding voice. “We just thought we’d check in on you because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay” said Piglet. Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay? Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, which is why I haven’t bothered you, because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”
Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house. Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”
“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. True friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”
“Oh. Oh” said Eeyore. And the three of them sat there in silence. While Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all, somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny bit better. Because Pooh and Piglet were There. No more. No less.
************************************** Life can be difficult. These days, it can seem to be almost impossible. Many are feeling just like Eeyore: ‘Sad and Alone and Not Much Fun to Be Around At All.’
We may not be together with family, friends in person because of geographical distance, illness, finances, the three-pronged flu/Covid/RSP bugs, but we can be together in other ways. … let’s pick up the phone and call someone we know … pick up a pen and write someone an old-fashioned letter … send a text, an email, a handmade card, a decorated envelope.
And if we can’t do any of that, let’s ‘think’ of others: … people we know and consider part of our family … people we appreciate, but don’t know – shopkeepers, educators, health care professionals, recycling/garbage workers, municipal workers, restaurant employees, artisans and crafters, service people, postal workers, first responders, housecleaners, volunteers, politicians, lawyers, bus/truck drivers, religious leaders, computer technicians and the list goes on. … people we don’t know personally, yet know about in our communities and this world we share: the homeless, unemployed, addicted, dispossessed, abused; those who are dying, grieving, depressed, sad, lonely, frightened; those at war; those dealing with mental, physical, spiritual illness.
As we ‘think’ of them, let’s “think love.” Let’s send thoughts of love’s healing to their body, mind and spirit. Some call that ‘prayer’. Some call it ‘energy’. By whatever name, it can be powerful!
May this be a blessed, very special Fourth Sunday of Advent in ways we cannot even begin to ask or imagine.
Winter Weather on December 21st: when dawn broke through the trees in my back yard early on this day last year, it was clear that winter was present: colder temperatures, snow, dangerous icy roads, power outages, warning of bomb cyclone, torrential rain, powerful winds and darkness. Many find winter in this part of the world with its darkness, to be depressing, find the cold to be unbearable, and the ongoing respiratory bugs of the time of the year to be a concern.
Winter Solstice is December 21st: a time in this part of the world when the North Pole is tilted farthest away from the Sun, bringing the fewest hours of sunlight of the year.
Winter is experienced in more ways than the weather: ongoing concern about people in various parts of the world (dealing with bombings, attacks, power outages, political threat; fear, hatred and chaos) take over thoughts of hope. Often as well, personal tragedies, illnesses, grief contribute to the ‘Winter of the Soul’ experience. When that happens, the words of Albert Camus can be a reminder of the invincible part of our being: invincible love, invincible smile, invincible calm, invincible summer … and a reminder that Winter Solstice is not only the beginning of longer days – but of hope.
“In the midst of hate, I discovered within me an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I discovered within me an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I discovered an invincible calm. I realized through it all that, in the midst of winter, there was an invincible summer. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me there is something stronger something better, pushing right back.”
Today, December 21st, the shortest day and longest night of the year, marks a shift: darkness slowly begins to recede – light begins to expand – days begin to get longer, albeit slowly, but they begin this day.
May those who experience a bleak ‘Winter of the Soul’, discover the Winter Solstice’s light of hope and healing of an “invincible summer.” May their spirit resonate with the words of author Margaret Atwood – below and encourage a break-through of the Winter of the Soul, giving time and space to look-within, nurturing connection to Spirit. And may you have a joyful Solstice celebrating the return of the light.
Grief is such a powerful emotion. Being able to participate in a funeral, a Celebration of Life, a Memorial service for someone who has died, can be a helpful ritual. But what about when such events aren’t happening, or Mother Nature interferes and travel is inadvisable, or the gathering/service isn’t being recorded, or it’s only happening for immediate family, or …?
Grief can become an unwelcome visitor deep inside our soul at any time – when death happens – when loss of any kind is experienced.
And when Hanukkah, Christmas, Solstice, Kwaanza, birthdays, anniversaries arrive, the grief can feel unsurmountable when others seem to be so happy. What then? There are church services (“Blue Christmas”, “Longest Day” etc.) but they may not be helpful to everyone.
Perhaps a personal ritual – done at home – quietly – alone or with a few others – might be of help. If so, I invite you to print out “Make Time to Mourn. Make Time to Grieve” below.
May we all remember that grieving takes time. There is no one ‘right’ way to grieve. Grief surfaces at ‘expected’ times. Grief surfaces at ‘unexpected’ times. Grief surges and wanes. Grief can seem overwhelming.
This is the time of the year when many expect to feel happy and joyful, but cannot because they are experiencing loss of … a loved one … job … family pet … relationship … home … finances … health … hope.
All are welcome to use this little liturgy as individuals, at church services such a “Blue Christmas” and “Longest Night” service and community gatherings. As always, you are welcome to share. May healing, grace, hope and peace surround and infill you.
June Maffin https://www.soulistry.com/blog @soulistryjune.bsky.social
Before you begin, I encourage you to find some matches and candles. As each candle is lit (hopefully in a darkened or semi-darkened room to get the effect of the light emanating from the candle), you may want to have some quiet music playing in the background. Or, you might want to do the ritual in silence. Try not to have the tv, loud music on, or do this at a time when children/family/friends/pets could make demands on you.
If you want some symbolism, choose your candles accordingly. I prefer to use royal blue (the colour of hope), but you may find that white (the colour of wholeness), red (the colour of Spirit), green (the colour of new life) offers deeper significance for you. Use whatever coloured candles you like or have on hand. Speak / think / pray each phrase slowly, reflectively. There is no need to hurry. This is your time.
To begin … take a few slow, deep breaths from your abdomen, inhaling a sense of peace and exhaling that which brings anxiety. When you find your breathing has slowed down, light the first candle.
LIGHT FIRST CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY … I light this candle to remember those who have been loved and lost. I pause to remember them … their face, their voice, their name. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO REMEMBER THEM.
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY I give thanks for the memory and circumstance that binds them to me. May Eternal Love surround them. [Silent time for reflection and simply “be-ing”]
LIGHT THE SECOND CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY I light this second candle to redeem the pain of loss: the loss of relationship, the loss of job, the loss of health, the loss of finances. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO THINK OF WHATEVER YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AS ‘LOSS’ THIS DAY.
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: As I gather up the pain of the past, I offer it, asking that into my open hands the gift of peace, of shalom, of wholeness be placed. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO DO THIS
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: May I be refreshed, restored and renewed [Silent time for reflection and simply “be-ing.”]
LIGHT THE THIRD CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY… I light this third candle to remember myself. I pause and remember the past weeks, months (years): … the down times … the poignancy of memories … the grief … the sadness … the hurt … the anger … the numbness … the shock … the pain of reflecting on my own mortality … the fear GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO DO THIS
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: May I remember that dawn defeats darkness. May I remember the words written on a wall at Dachau prison — “I believe in the sun even when it’s not shining. I believe in the stars even when I see them not. I believe in God even when I don’t see God.” (OR FOR A FINAL SENTENCE: “I believe in hope even when I don’t feel it.” [Silent time of reflection and simply “be-ing.”]
LIGHT THE FOURTH CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY … I light this fourth candle to remember the gift of hope. I lean on the Holy One who shares my life, and who promises a place and time of no more pain and suffering and who loves unconditionally. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO DO THIS OR SUBSTITUTE ANY PHRASING THAT WILL BE MEANINGFUL FOR YOU.
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: May I not forget the One who shows the way and Who goes with me into my tomorrows (or substitute any phrasing of gratitude that will be meaningful for you) [Silent time of reflection and simply “be-ing.”]
CLOSE BY SAYING/THINKING/PRAYING Amen. So be it. Amen. (“Amen” means is “So be it.”) [Silent time of reflection and simply “be-ing” in the darkness]
When you’re ready, transition back to your regular activities by doing something for yourself if you’re able: a long leisurely bath; a hot cup of tea/hot chocolate; listen to some gentle music … and know that there are people who care and that even though you may feel alone, you are not completely alone.
An aside: revisiting the “Make Time to Mourn. Make Time to Grieve” ritual (whenever experiencing loss) can bring healing and hope and adapting this Gaelic blessing (using ‘me’ instead of ‘you’) can be a gentle way to re-connect to the peace experienced as you moved through the “Make Time to Mourn. Make Time to Grieve” ritual. Not just a one-time opportunity for helping to move through grief/loss because we experience various kinds of loss throughout our lives so print it out, file it, share it, use it. May it bless you in your moments of grief.
Deep peace of the running wave to you (me). Deep peace of the flowing air to you (me). Deep peace of the quiet earth to you (me). Deep peace of the shining stars to you (me). Deep peace of the infinite peace to you (me).
Where there is darkness we must bring the light. Where there is darkness we must send the light. Where there is darkness we must be the light.
We can be the light as we focus on goodness not evil.
We can be the light as we offer a listening ear offer healing energy to a troubled world. by holding the light for others, being present being honest, being kind, being thoughtful.
We can be the light and reflect the Light of hope and possibility by speaking up by speaking out by peaceful protest.
Where there is darkness … may we bring the light. Where there is darkness … may we send the light. Where there is darkness … may we *be* the light.
Let us offer healing energy, good thoughts, prayer. Let us focus on goodness even in the face of evil.
This Sunday begins the third week in the Season of Advent … the week of joy … and a story that is true.
The baby was given two names at birth. Gene (her father was expecting a boy) and Dolores. And so began the life of Gene Dolores.
Raised in poverty, Gene Dolores had to leave school at twelve to work and help support her family. Serious health issues plagued her life, as did many tragedies. It would have been easy for her to dwell on her misfortunes and live her life according to her middle name (Dolores), the root of which means ‘sorrow’ … not the greatest of names for a sweet little baby girl.
We all know that there are times when life intervenes in our lives, happiness seems evasive and negativity overwhelms. But even in those moments, joy is there for us … to choose. Even in these difficult times in the middle of the Season of Advent whose theme is JOY!
So back to the story of little Gene Dolores. And yes, this is a real story about a real person. As the years passed, in spite of a life of poverty, tragedy and ill health, Gene Dolores learned that unlike happiness (a feeling), joy was a choice (a decision).
Gene Dolores chose to live a life of joy and as she did, she slowly began to discover sadness and depression lifting at times, and her life changing slowly.
A very gifted dancer, a wonderful opportunity came her way when she was seventeen: an invitation to be on Broadway in New York City and dance with Broadway and movie star at the time – Ray Bolger. Bolger delighted in working with Gene Dolores and recognized a special “joy-within” her and began to call her “Joy.” It was a name she later adopted for the rest of her life.
I never met Gene Dolores. I did meet Joy. She was my mother.
Here we are, half-way to Christmas and yet, with so many dealing with reminders of the fragility of life … war, illness, sadness, grief, fear, depression, devastation, destruction, death, homelessness, addiction, political haranguing and more, it’s not surprising that many ask … “Joy? How can there be joy?”
Perhaps the poem by the little girl who began life as Gene Dolores who had changed her name to Joy yet continued to struggle with deep sadness, ill health and feelings of despair, when she wrote this on her 70th birthday, can encourage us all: “Even though, at times, it would appear I have almost nothing to be joyful about and feel full of despair as I begin to count my blessings and feel grateful to God for even the smallest one joy begins to permeate my being and fill my heart.
It grows so quickly! Even the troubles I am experiencing have little power to depress or overwhelm me. It is like a magic spring! Always bubbling beneath the surface. All it takes to make it appear and flood my being is a conscious love for my Creator and a deep sense of gratitude for permitting me to catch even the smallest glimpse of this wonderful JOY divine. <author: Joy Mack, June 10, 1985)
There are people in our own families, neighbourhoods, world who are in danger, are homeless, dealing with grief, addiction, deep stress, fearful of what tomorrow may bring. Some of those are known to us. Some are unknown to us. They experience little, or no, joy. On this Third Sunday of Advent – “Joy” Sunday – may we think of them.
In that ‘thinking of them’, in those prayers, in those thoughts, may their spirit know they are not alone. And may they be given the courage they need to survive, to endure, to carry on and to experience “a glimpse of the Joy divine.”
*************************** AN ASIDE: The photo (scroll down) of my mother, Joy Mack, and Hollywood movie and Broadway star Ray Bolger, together on the Broadway stage at the end of their dance show Mr. Bolger’s words on the back of the photo read: To “Joy, Here’s hoping I’m not too presumptuous. Best always. Ray Bolger“. It’s really blurry – but a treasure for our family.
Mr. Bolger’s “presumption” to call Gene Dolores ‘Joy’, began Mom’s journey from ‘sorrow’ (‘Dolores’) to ‘Joy.’ It was not something that came easily to her, but as she learned about gratitude and began to refocus her life on her blessings, her final years found her to be a woman of much joy, befitting her ‘chosen’ name.
As for the little card – I loved making it and nestling it in the midst of the lights of the Christmas tree for me to see each day during the four weeks of the Season of Advent last year as a reminder of the four-fold Advent themes: peace, hope, joy, love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May this, the Third Sunday of Advent, bring joy your way in gentle, unexpected and blessed ways. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere this moment, there is a wee one, uttering a prayer for Two-Legged creatures she sees on her travels.
“O Creator-Of-Us-All, I pray for the Two-Legged creatures who foolishly ignore the signs that are all around. Signs which, if they aren’t acted upon, will result in even more damage to the environment.
Thee-Who-Is-Truth, I pray for those Two-Legged creatures who hear truth about climate change and yet choose to ignore it.
O Holy-One-Who-Celebrates-Life, I pray for wisdom and compassion for all in the Two-Legged world so the spread of untruths will be stopped and the devastation of this planet we share with them will come to an end.
Thee-Who-Loves-All-Creatures, I pray for unconditional love to move in the hearts of the Two-Legged creatures whose hearts are cold and whose minds are focused on selfish ways.
May this prayer be heard and may the Two-Legged ones exercise wisdom, compassion and kindness to us and to one another.
This day, this night, this moment … Creator … Holy One … Hearer of Whispered Concerns … Listener of Unspoken Fears … Gentle Bearer of Grief remind the Two-Legged creatures that this earth is sacred the waters are sacred the sky is sacred the animal, plant, fish, mammal, insect kingdoms are sacred and they, Two-Legged creatures are sacred.
This day, this night, Sacred Friend Who Loves Unconditionally, remind the Two-Legged creatures of your call to them to be good stewards of the lands, the skies, the waters, each other, and themselves.
And remind them that if they don’t change their ways they will not survive and neither will I.
