I peered through the no-longer-existing wire fence, looked beyond the tall weeds and grass to the farmhouse that was beginning to tilt and thought “What stories that building could tell!”
Like … tales of a long-ago time when it stood tall and erect providing shelter for residents and a wonderful space in the attic for children to play.
Like … stories its residents told as they shared, laughed cried and consoled one another
But that was long ago. Now the farmhouse is getting old and before long
it will be a relic. As we, who begin to tilt to one side, will someday be a relic.Let us not wait until it is too late to share our stories. We all have them. Let us ask our elders to tell us their stories. They won’t always be with us to tell their stories. Let us record our stories in a Journal. Speak our story into a recording device. Talk about our “good old – and not so good – old days” so that after we wither and tilt and have moved on
to-whatever-comes-next our loved ones will know us in a deeper way
than they now do.
What are our stories? How to begin?
Begin at the beginning … what are our childhood memories? who was our favourite teacher and why? when did we have our first kiss? where did we go on our first trip? when have we felt vulnerable? what was our first paid job? who challenged us in life? how do we feel about the still-controversial subjects such as capital punishment, abortion, euthanasia, same sex marriage? when did we first vote – why – for whom? when have we felt affirmed? who is our best friend – why? how did we feel when we first experienced death (of a pet, a loved one, a friend)? did we “deal” with the death or ignore it? what were our hopes and dreams when we were younger? what are our wishes for our final days? how do we want to be remembered by our loved ones, friends?The questions are endless. Like good questions, they lead to more questions. More self-discovery too.
Let us tell our stories about our experiences, learnings, adventures, discoveries so that those left behind when we die will not berate themselves with questions they wish they’d asked us when we were alive.
Aging, tilting, relic we may be becoming, but we have stories to tell! Let’s tell them!
I believe that we come into this world to learn, to do our part in making this world a better place through our actions, words and thoughts of lovingkindness and to create, play and celebrate life And then, I believe we move on to the next learning.
Sadly, some of us “move on” too soon. For far too many, it’s due to the dreaded “C” word: cancer.
If you know someone who fought a battle against cancer and died, I invite you to look beyond the view of this photo and envision them with hope in your heart that they are now “beyond” and at peace.
May the day come soon when there is no longer a “Cancer-Anything” day other than to celebrate its cure!
<Remembering beloved husband, Hans van der Werff, two-time cancer survivor and who on the third cancer diagnosis go-round died on June 26, 2016. May he and all who are no longer with us in person, but will always be with us in our heart and memories, rest in peace.>
Once upon a time, a donkey fell down a well. The animal cried and cried and cried – for hours. The farmer tried to help but … he decided the animal was old and it wasn’t worth his time and energy to save the donkey. So he and his neighbours began to throw dirt into the well.
When the donkey realized what was happening, he cried and cried and cried. Then he quieted down.
The farmer and his neighbours continued to throw dirt into the well. When the farmer looked down the well, he was surprised at what he saw! With every shovel of dirt that fell on his back the donkey was doing something amazing! He was shaking off the dirt and taking a step up. As the dirt continued to be shovelled on top of the donkey, he would shake it off and take another step up.
Everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
We all get dirt shoved on us and sometimes we even shovel the dirt on ourselves. Each time we say “I can’t … I can’t do this. I can’t try that. I can’t go there,” we are shovelling dirt on ourselves. That’s when we need to get out of the deep well we’re in … the well of self-pity … blame … low self-confidence.
We need to shake off the dirt, take a step up, not give up, let every adversity become a stepping stone to positive change.
We *can* get out of the deep wells – whether our well includes feeling lonely, feeling anxious about upcomingassignments, not making friends, frightened about the future, worried about upcoming medical tests, dental treatment, surgery, finances, politics, an upcoming meeting, COVID19, exams, whatever!
When dirt falls on your back, remember the donkey, shake it off and take a step up!
Have you ever wondered how to make a wise decision? how to know which direction to go when faced with more than one possibility? how to discern the will of God? how to determine the way to go re: medical decision? possible move? job? vote? finances? relationship? health issue?
You’ve reasoned. You’re sought the advice of others. You’ve prayed. You’ve done your research. You’ve brainstormed – looked at every angle you could possibly think of. Still, you’re not certain.
Which is the right answer for you at this particular time? Which road will be the wisest choice? What decision would be the best?
Like everyone, I’ve found myself in situations seeking wisdom, hoping to discern wisely. Whether the situations have been simple or complex, each time, here’s what I’ve learned. ‘Listening’ is the key. Listening to my body; listening to my mind; listening to spirit – that “still, small voice within.”
The next time you are faced with a decision, checking things out with your body, mind and soul could provide the answer.
Listen to your body.
If it is relaxed about going in one direction, it’s a possible “yes.”
Listen to your mind.
If it is at peace and you are not still trying to “figure it out,” it’s a possible “yes.”
Listen to your heart.
If it soars with openness, enthusiasm, joy, curiosity, anticipation, it’s a possible “yes.”
When all three are a “possible yes,” then harmony is evident: harmony of body, harmony of mind, harmony of spirit and could be showing you a good road to take, a gentle path to journey, a wise decision to make.
Her face lit up when we shared a moment-in-time today.
She, in her mid 70’s, was looking at summer tops and slacks.
She was wearing beige slacks, beige top and black jacket with black purse and black shoes.
The clothing she was looking at? Black sweater, beige slacks, black top.
I could “see” her in lovely pastels but all she was looking at was … black, beige and more of the same.
I quietly asked “What do you think of this colour?”
Her reply – “So lovely for you, dear. But not for me.”
She had given me an opening – and so I gently asked – “Why not?”
Her reply – “I’m old.”
I picked up two pastel blouses – lilac and peach – and asked her to come with me to the mirror. I think she thought I was going to try them on and wanted her opinion. She was half right. I wanted her opinion … but not for me – for her.
I tucked them under her chin and she smiled – and looked at me and said “I’m too old.” And then she looked again. And smiled.
We chatted a bit. She confided that she hated wearing black and beige, but those were what old people wore and she didn’t want to have people think she was trying to be young again.
And then, after she held up the coloured shirts a few more times and could see they brought colour to her face and (maybe it was my imagination, but she stood straighter when they were under her chin), before I knew it, she had purchased them both. As she went out the store with a lovely, big smile on her face wearing the peach-coloured shirt, she said “A difference – you have made a difference.”
Nawww, it wasn’t me – it was her. For in that moment, she decided to wear colour and enjoy her life … every moment of life. And yes, I’m *sure* she was walking straighter as she walked out of the store. Those colours really suited her.
She took a risk – and made a difference.
<update: The story is true. The photo is not of the woman in the story but permission has been granted to use the photo for this story by a lovely septuagenarian (75 years young!) woman who loves colour – and life!>
It’s spring in many parts of the world and both flowers and weeds are growing in abundance.
Mother Nature provides a challenge – which do we allow to grow most in our mind, in our heart, in our soul? Flowers (seeds) or weeds?
Thanks to the birds who deposited the seed-treasures this spring, there are lovely columbines growing in the garden, Mother Nature provides a wonderful challenge for soul-reflection.
Our mind is like a garden and our thoughts are the seeds. We can grow flowers or we can grow weeds
Do we allow seeds to grow flowers in our mind, heart, soul, in our words, thoughts about others/about ourselves. Or do we allow weeds to grow in our thoughts about others/ourselves?
