Tomorrow, December 21st, is the longest night of the year. It’s Winter Solstice, in the final week of Advent, just days before Christmas. This is the time of the year when many are expecting to feel joy, be that because of their celebration of a religious festival or winter holiday, or simply connecting with family and friends.
But when people hurt, it’s difficult to feel joy. Many aren’t able to tap into any sense of hope or peace either, because of personal loss of a loved one, problems with finances, employment, housing, health, fear about the future.
Around this time each year, many churches and communities offer “Blue Christmas” services to try and offset the stress that is being felt by busyness, cacophony and expectations of the holiday season.
But, going out in the evening, when it is dark or the roads are impassable because of inclement weather or one is unwell, or when the thought of being with others feels even more draining that the festivities at the time of the year seem to bring, makes attendance at such services difficult.
And so, a thought came to me – create a When Christmas Hurts/Blue Christmas ritual for individuals who are sad/blue. If you are someone for whom peace, hope, joy are elusive at this time of the year, it is my prayer that following along with this liturgy will bring you comfort.
Before you begin, I encourage you to find some candles and a match. You might find a particular coloured candle or a variety of candle colours is helpful. Any four candles can help. I love the colour of royal blue and it “fits” with the Blue Christmas theme and royal blue is the colour of the Season of Advent (the four weeks before Christmas Day) for many.
As each candle is lit (hopefully in a darkened or semi-darkened room to get the effect of the light emanating from the candle), you may want to have some quiet music playing in the background or simply be in silence.Choose a time and place when tv, children, family, friends, loud music, electronic devices will not be a distraction.
Speak out loud or think / pray each phrase slowly, reflectively. There is no need to hurry. This is your time. Take the time to “be” in the moment.
To begin … take a few slow, deep breaths from your abdomen, inhaling a welcome of peace to yourself and exhaling that which brings anxiety. When you find your breathing has slowed down … begin.
LIGHT FIRST CANDLE AND SAY / THINK / PRAY SLOWLY AND QUIETLY
I light this candle to remember those persons who have been loved and lost this past year and in years long ago.
I pause to remember their name(s) … their face(s) … their voice(s). (Give yourself time to do this.)
I give thanks for the memory that binds them to me at this difficult time. (Give yourself time to do this)
May Eternal Love surround them.
[Silent time for reflection]
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LIGHT SECOND CANDLE AND SAY, THINK, PRAY SLOWLY AND QUIETLY
I light this second candle to redeem the pain of loss: … the loss of relationships … the loss of employment … the loss of health … the loss of hope … the loss of Christmas … the loss of … (whatever you are experiencing as ‘loss’ at this time)
(Give yourself time to think of those which apply to you.)
As I gather up the pain of the past, I offer it, asking that the gift of peace, shalom, wholeness be placed into my heart, my head, my spirit.
(Give yourself time to do this)
May I be refreshed, restored and renewed.
[Silent time for reflection]
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LIGHT THIRD CANDLE AND SAY, THINK, PRAY SLOWLY AND QUIETLY I light this third candle to remember myself.
I pause and remember the past weeks, months (years) … the down times … the poignancy of memories … the grief … the sadness … the hurts … the fear … the pain of reflecting on my own mortality … past Christmases
(Give yourself time to do this.)
May I remember that dawn defeats darkness.
May I remember the words written on a wall at Dachau prison — “I believe in the sun even when it’s not shining; I believe in the stars even when I see them not; I believe in God even when I don’t see God.” (or – I believe in Love even when I don’t feel Love.”)
[Silent time of reflection]
~~~~~~~ LIGHT FOURTH CANDLE AND SAY, THINK, PRAY SLOWLY AND QUIETLY
I light this fourth candle to remember the gift of hope.
I lean on the Holy One who shares my life … promises a place and time of no more pain and suffering … and who loves unconditionally
(Give yourself time to do this … or substitute any phrasing that will be meaningful for you).
May I not forget the One who shows the way and goes with me into my tomorrows.
[Silent time of reflection]
Amen. So be it. Amen. (“Amen” means “So be it.”)
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The “Blue Christmas” individual ritual/liturgy has now come to a close.
You may want to consider spending time in the darkness … looking at the lit candles … listening to quiet music … soaking in a hot bath … sipping a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate.
May you be assured that there are people who care and people who pray for ‘those who think that no one cares for them’.
I like to believe that in every legend, every parable, every story, there is a tidbit of ‘something’ that can bring good news. The legend of the Poinsettia plant might be such a story – if it is true. But even if it is not true, it is a good story. It’s a story about love. And a story about love is perfect for the Fourth Sunday in the Season of Advent with its theme of love.
The story so impressed Joel Roberts Poinsett (first U.S. Ambassador to Mexico and botany-lover), that he brought the bright red star-shaped flower to the United States from Mexico. And that is how, it is said, that the Poinsettia plant got its name. But what was the story – the legend?
Little Maria and her brother Pablo were very poor. They barely had enough to eat two meals a day. Each year, their village church in Mexico created a large Manger scene and everyone wanted to go and offer a gift to the Baby Jesus.
Even though the children had no money and couldn’t buy a gift, they wanted to see the baby and bring him a present. Maria thought they could bring some weeds growing along the roadside to make the bed softer for the baby and decorate the baby’s crib. But when they arrived with the weeds, other children teased and mocked them for bringing such a lowly gift. Maria and Pablo began to cry.
Suddenly, the weeds were transformed into bright red petals that looked like stars! Everyone was in awe. It soon became clear that what the sister and brother had brought the Christ Child was far dearer than the most expensive present that could be bought. They had brought the gift of Love. Precious. Valuable beyond any other gift.
But then again, the Gift of Love always is valuable and important. If you’re still uncertain about the importance of love, how about this wee story about Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore …
****************************************** One day, Pooh and Piglet realized that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore. “Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh. “Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a glum sounding voice. “We just thought we’d check in on you because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay” said Piglet. Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay? Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, which is why I haven’t bothered you, because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”
Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house. Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”
“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. True friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”
“Oh. Oh” said Eeyore. And the three of them sat there in silence. While Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all, somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny bit better. Because Pooh and Piglet were There. No more. No less.
************************************** Life can be difficult. These days, it can seem to be almost impossible. Many are feeling just like Eeyore: ‘Sad and Alone and Not Much Fun to Be Around At All.’
We may not be together with family, friends in person because of geographical distance, illness, finances, politics, but we can be together – and share love (I love the phrase “Never let your theology get in the way of love” which is widely attributed online to John Spencer), in other ways. … we can pick up the phone and call someone we know … we can write someone an old-fashioned letter … we can send a text, an email, a handmade card, a decorated envelope.
And if we can’t do any of that, let’s ‘think’ of others: … think of people we know and consider part of our family … think of people we appreciate, but don’t know – shopkeepers, educators, health care professionals, recycling/garbage workers, municipal workers, restaurant employees, artisans and crafters, service people, postal workers, first responders, housecleaners, volunteers, politicians, lawyers, bus/truck drivers, religious leaders, computer technicians … and the list goes on. … think of people we don’t know personally, yet know about in our communities and this world we share: the homeless, unemployed, addicted, dispossessed, abused; those who are dying, grieving, depressed, sad, lonely, frightened; those at war; those dealing with mental, physical, spiritual illness.
As we ‘think’ of them, let’s “think love.” Let’s send thoughts of love’s healing to their body, mind and spirit. Some call that ‘prayer’. Some call it ‘energy’. By whatever name, it can be powerful!
May this be a blessed, very special Fourth Sunday of Advent in ways we cannot even begin to ask or imagine.
Grief is such a powerful emotion. Being able to participate in a funeral, a Celebration of Life, a Memorial service for someone who has died, can be a helpful ritual. But what about when such events aren’t happening, or Mother Nature interferes and travel is inadvisable, or the gathering/service isn’t being recorded, or it’s only happening for immediate family, or …?
Grief can become an unwelcome visitor deep inside our soul at any time – when death happens – when loss of any kind is experienced.
Today begins Hanukkah for those observing the Jewish faith. Christians are about to observe Christmas. Others have marked Solstice, Kwaanza, Diwali and at those times, as well as times of birthdays/anniversaries, grief can feel unsurmountable when others seem to be so happy.
What then? While churches and funeral homes offer services like ‘Blue Christmas’, they may not be helpful to everyone.
Perhaps a personal ritual – done at home – quietly – alone or with a few others – might be of help. If so, I invite you to print out this little ritual I created and has been shared countless times over the years. “Make Time to Mourn. Make Time to Grieve” is a gentle way to grieve … it’s important to remember that there is no one ‘right’ way to grieve. Grieving takes time. Grief surfaces at ‘expected’ times. Grief surfaces at ‘unexpected’ times. Grief surges and wanes. Grief can seem overwhelming. And at this time of the year, when many expect to feel happy and joyful, but cannot because they are experiencing loss of … a loved one … job … family pet … relationship … home … finances … limb … health … hope, grief can seem overwhelming.
Before you begin, I encourage you to find some matches and candles. As each candle is lit (hopefully in a darkened or semi-darkened room to get the effect of the light emanating from the candle), you may want to have some quiet music playing in the background. Or, you might want to do the ritual in silence. Try not to have the tv, loud music on, or do this at a time when children/family/friends/pets could make demands on you.
If you want some symbolism, choose your candles accordingly. I prefer to use royal blue (the colour of hope), but you may find that white (the colour of wholeness), red (the colour of Spirit), green (the colour of new life) offers deeper significance for you. Use whatever coloured candles you like or have on hand. Speak / think / pray each phrase slowly, reflectively. There is no need to hurry. This is your time.
To begin … take a few slow, deep breaths from your abdomen, inhaling a sense of peace and exhaling that which brings anxiety. When you find your breathing has slowed down, light the first candle.
LIGHT FIRST CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY … I light this candle to remember those who have been loved and lost. I pause to remember them … their face, their voice, their name. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO REMEMBER THEM.
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY I give thanks for the memory and circumstance that binds them to me. May Eternal Love surround them. [Silent time for reflection and simply “be-ing”]
LIGHT THE SECOND CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY I light this second candle to redeem the pain of loss: the loss of relationship, the loss of job, the loss of health, the loss of finances. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO THINK OF WHATEVER YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AS ‘LOSS’ THIS DAY.
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: As I gather up the pain of the past, I offer it, asking that into my open hands the gift of peace, of shalom, of wholeness be placed. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO DO THIS
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: May I be refreshed, restored and renewed [Silent time for reflection and simply “be-ing.”]
LIGHT THE THIRD CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY… I light this third candle to remember myself. I pause and remember the past weeks, months (years): … the down times … the poignancy of memories … the grief … the sadness … the hurt … the anger … the numbness … the shock … the pain of reflecting on my own mortality … the fear GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO DO THIS
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: May I remember that dawn defeats darkness. May I remember the words written on a wall at Dachau prison — “I believe in the sun even when it’s not shining. I believe in the stars even when I see them not. I believe in God even when I don’t see God.” (OR FOR A FINAL SENTENCE: “I believe in hope even when I don’t feel it.” [Silent time of reflection and simply “be-ing.”]
LIGHT THE FOURTH CANDLE AND SAY/THINK/PRAY … I light this fourth candle to remember the gift of hope. I lean on the Holy One who shares my life, and who promises a place and time of no more pain and suffering and who loves unconditionally. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO DO THIS OR SUBSTITUTE ANY PHRASING THAT WILL BE MEANINGFUL FOR YOU.
THEN SAY/THINK/PRAY: May I not forget the One who shows the way and Who goes with me into my tomorrows (or substitute any phrasing of gratitude that will be meaningful for you) [Silent time of reflection and simply “be-ing.”]
CLOSE BY SAYING/THINKING/PRAYING Amen. So be it. Amen. (“Amen” means is “So be it.”) [Silent time of reflection and simply “be-ing” in the darkness]
When you’re ready, transition back to your regular activities by doing something for yourself if you’re able: a long leisurely bath; a hot cup of tea/hot chocolate; listen to some gentle music … and know that there are people who care and that even though you may feel alone, you are not completely alone.
An aside: revisiting the “Make Time to Mourn. Make Time to Grieve” ritual (whenever experiencing loss) can bring healing and hope and adapting this Gaelic blessing (using ‘me’ instead of ‘you’) can be a gentle way to re-connect to the peace experienced as you moved through the “Make Time to Mourn. Make Time to Grieve” ritual. Not just a one-time opportunity for helping to move through grief/loss because we experience various kinds of loss throughout our lives so print it out, file it, share it, use it. May it bless you in your moments of grief.
Deep peace of the running wave to you (me). Deep peace of the flowing air to you (me). Deep peace of the quiet earth to you (me). Deep peace of the shining stars to you (me). Deep peace of the infinite peace to you (me).
This Sunday begins the third week in the Season of Advent … the week of joy … and a story that is true.
The baby was given two names at birth. Gene (her father was expecting a boy) and Dolores. And so began the life of Gene Dolores.
Raised in poverty, Gene Dolores had to leave school at twelve to work and help support her family. Serious health issues plagued her life, as did many tragedies. It would have been easy for her to dwell on her misfortunes and live her life according to her middle name (Dolores), the root of which means ‘sorrow’ … not the greatest of names for a sweet little baby girl.
We all know that there are times when life intervenes in our lives, happiness seems evasive and negativity overwhelms. But even in those moments, joy is there for us … to choose. Even in these difficult times in the middle of the Season of Advent whose theme is JOY!
So back to the story of little Gene Dolores. And yes, this is a real story about a real person. As the years passed, in spite of a life of poverty, tragedy and ill health, Gene Dolores learned that unlike happiness (a feeling), joy was a choice (a decision).
Gene Dolores chose to live a life of joy and as she did, she slowly began to discover sadness and depression lifting at times, and her life changing slowly.
A very gifted dancer, a wonderful opportunity came her way when she was seventeen: an invitation to be on Broadway in New York City and dance with Broadway and movie star at the time – Ray Bolger. Bolger delighted in working with Gene Dolores and recognized a special “joy-within” her and began to call her “Joy.” It was a name she later adopted for the rest of her life.
I never met Gene Dolores. I did meet Joy. She was my mother.
Here we are, half-way to Christmas and yet, with so many dealing with reminders of the fragility of life … war, illness, sadness, grief, fear, depression, devastation, destruction, death, homelessness, addiction, political haranguing and more, it’s not surprising that many ask … “Joy? How can there be joy?”
Perhaps the poem by the little girl who began life as Gene Dolores who had changed her name to Joy yet continued to struggle with deep sadness, ill health and feelings of despair, when she wrote this on her 70th birthday, can encourage us all: “Even though, at times, it would appear I have almost nothing to be joyful about and feel full of despair as I begin to count my blessings and feel grateful to God for even the smallest one joy begins to permeate my being and fill my heart.
It grows so quickly! Even the troubles I am experiencing have little power to depress or overwhelm me. It is like a magic spring! Always bubbling beneath the surface. All it takes to make it appear and flood my being is a conscious love for my Creator and a deep sense of gratitude for permitting me to catch even the smallest glimpse of this wonderful JOY divine. <author: Joy Mack, June 10, 1985)
There are people in our own families, neighbourhoods, world who are in danger, are homeless, dealing with grief, addiction, deep stress, fearful of what tomorrow may bring. Some of those are known to us. Some are unknown to us. They experience little, or no, joy. On this Third Sunday of Advent – “Joy” Sunday – may we think of them.
In that ‘thinking of them’, in those prayers, in those thoughts, may their spirit know they are not alone. And may they be given the courage they need to survive, to endure, to carry on and to experience “a glimpse of the Joy divine.”
*************************** AN ASIDE: The photo (scroll down) of my mother, Joy Mack, and Hollywood movie and Broadway star Ray Bolger, together on the Broadway stage at the end of their dance show Mr. Bolger’s words on the back of the photo read: To “Joy, Here’s hoping I’m not too presumptuous. Best always. Ray Bolger“. It’s really blurry – but a treasure for our family.
Mr. Bolger’s “presumption” to call Gene Dolores ‘Joy’, began Mom’s journey from ‘sorrow’ (‘Dolores’) to ‘Joy.’ It was not something that came easily to her, but as she learned about gratitude and began to refocus her life on her blessings, her final years found her to be a woman of much joy, befitting her ‘chosen’ name.
As for the little card – I loved making it and nestling it in the midst of the lights of the Christmas tree for me to see each day during the four weeks of the Season of Advent last year as a reminder of the four-fold Advent themes: peace, hope, joy, love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May this, the Third Sunday of Advent, bring joy your way in gentle, unexpected and blessed ways. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, how our world needs peace. Oh how we, our families, our communities, our neighbourhoods, our countries, our world needs peace.
But fear, busyness, worry, grief, physical pain, guilt, sleepless nights, and those “what-if’s” creep in. And then there are the actions of bullies (at work, school, cyberspace), conspiracy theorists and some politicians who propel thoughts away from experiencing any sense of peace.
And yet … and yet serenity and peace are available.
We only need to be aware of them … but how? where? when?
They’re there … in the gift of our breath … in the gift of gentle words, spoken aloud … in the silence of hearts for another and for ourselves … in meditations like David Adams’ “Circle Me” (adapted as follows) which can be used by people of faith, of little faith, of no faith: “Keep protection near and danger afar.Circle me. Keep hope within and doubt without.Circle me. Keep light near and darkness afar.Circle me. Keep peace within and evil out.” Others can be encompassed in such prayers/meditations by simply substituting ‘us’ for ‘me’ which can be an encouragement in times of stress.
Stress – it’s such a nasty six letter word. Or, is it?
Few know or realize that there are two kinds of stress. “Eustress” and “Distress.” Sometimes, stress is experienced as “eustress” (from the Greek “eu” meaning ‘good’) which, according to endocrinologist Hans Selye, is the kind of stress that is healthy and gives a good, positive feeling. Then there is the stress that is experienced as “distress” (from the Latin prefix “dis” meaning ‘having a negative force.’ That form of stress is about unpleasant/negative feelings or emotions that impact the level of functioning, whether or not they are related to work, relationships, health, finances, busyness, politics, grief, needing to be perfect or always organized. Sometimes, distress is related to fear (fear of the known; fear of the unknown). And sometimes, the distress is a combination of several of the above.
The interesting thing is – our body receives a signal of ‘stress’ regardless of whether it is ‘eu’ or ‘dis’. Eustress is welcome. Distress seldom is. To that end, we do what we can to alleviate the distress in our lives. But how to do that?
Many are noting that this Sunday is known as Advent 2 – and its theme is “Peace.” While the Season of Advent is based in Christianity, its theme of Peace transcends institutional religion as Rabbi Jonathan Sacks of the Jewish faith reminds: “For though my faith is not yours and yours is not mine, if we are each free to light our own flame, together we can banish some of the darkness in the world.” I find that to be a powerful reminder that together, we all can be part of bringing peace into the world.
Another way of alleviating stress – bringing a touch of peace within – is by the lighting of candles. Significant in many faiths and cultural traditions, when candles are lit, darkness dissipates – if only for a moment – and can be a sign of the possibility of peace.
While I’m not Jewish, I love their tradition of using the Shamash (which stands in the centre of the Menorah candelabra) to light the four candles on the Shamash’s left side and four candles on its right side). For each night of Hanakkah, the Shamash (‘helper’ candle) lights one of the Menorah’s eight candles. What a metaphor for us all. Whether we are Jew, atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Sikh, agnostic, Zoroastrian, Muslim or something else, perhaps we can all be an Advent candlelighter … a Shamash of Peace in our world.
May we take this moment of the Second Week of the Season of Advent and invite peace… for those living in war-torn countries … for those living in our own country in fear … for those living with unrelenting stress … for ourselves, families, work places, government offices, streets, playgrounds, places of worship, schools etc..
Perhaps this adapted prayer from the New Zealand Prayer Book will offer some guidance:“I take this moment, a moment for stillness in the presence of of the-possibility-of Holy Other.I acknowledge that what has been done has been done. What has not been done has not been done. I let it be.Just as the night is dark, I choose to let fears of the darkness of the world and of my own life rest. Rest with Holy Peace.Just as the night is quiet, I invite the quietness of Holy Peace to enfold – enfold all dear to us – enfold all who experience no peace.Just as the night heralds the dawn, may I look expectantly to a new day, new joys, new possibilities.” So may it be. Amen. So may it be.
An aside: while often used in religious ceremonies/prayers, the word “amen” isn’t *religious* per se. It simply means “So may it be.”
My friends, may peace, deep peace, be yours. May each of us be the Shamash in the world around us in some small way and light an Advent Candle for Peace … literally and figuratively … so that each of us is a reflection and beacon of peace to others.
A still, small voice … whispers “Where is the hope?” A circle of friends gather, light candles and through tears, gasp “There must be hope.” Nations of people … shake their heads and mumble “Is hope possible?”
Phrases like … “It’s hopeless” ... “I can’t even hope that change will happen” … “Hope doesn’t exist” seem to be popping up in conversations, more and more lately as illness, grief, aging, politics, broken relationships, fear surface and seem to take over thoughts, feelings, perceived reality. Hope seems to be elusive.
Consider these words by Natalie Sleath “In the bulb there is a flower, in the seed, an apple tree. In cocoons, a hidden promise, butterflies will soon be free!” She broadens the theme of hope reminding readers that “In the cold and snow of winter, there’s a spring that waits to be … and that “There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody … a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me,” further reminding us that “from the past will come the future, what it holds, a mystery”.
While Natalie Sleath’s poem/song gently references belief in a Higher Power/God/Creator, even without those references, her words are a powerful reminder that there is always hope. <Natalie Sleath https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpqHE84LAAw>
There have been times in my life when hope has been elusive but it’s never been gone. When I stand on my back deck and look at the evening skies, there’s something that draws me to gaze in awe. Not a gorgeous sunset – no birds flying overhead dotting the horizon. Really, nothing spectacular. And maybe that’s the wonder of it all … the hope.
In their simplicity, the slight colour differences in the sky peering through the almost-barren trees, a sense of peace and calm is portrayed and hope fills in / returns to my soul. There is always hope.
The theme of ‘hope’ for the first week of the Season of Advent is appropriate and timely, as are the adapted words of songwriters Jill Jackson & Sy Milleron. Their “Let There Be Peace on Earth” words are a reminder on this First Sunday in Advent that each of us can be a part of bringing hope to our world … ““Let there be hope on earth, and let it begin with me. Let there be hope on earth, the hope that was meant to be. With ev’ry step I take, let this be my solemn vow – to take each moment and live each moment in hope eternally. Let there be hope on earth, and let it begin with me.”
May the Season of Advent be an opportunity for hope … to be welcomed
May the Season of Advent be an opportunity for hope … to be experienced
May the Season of Advent be an opportunity for hope … to be shared.
And may all be blessed with at least a ‘drop’ of hope each day. May this Season of Advent bring a message of hope to our world.
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As always, you are welcome to comment and share. Thank you.
Whether we like it or not, stores are beginning to display Christmas decorations and play Christmas music; Christmas trees are going up in homes, businesses and offices; inflatable Santas are appearing on lawns – and it’s not even the month of December yet!
Why the rush?
I wonder if people know about the Season of Advent – four precious weeks which begin a gentle countdown to Christmas. And it begins tomorrow, Sunday, for those living in the west.
Some think that the Season of Advent is just for Christians. It’s not. Many non-Christians follow some of these customs as well and adopt them as part of their holiday preparation.
Want to know more? Each year, I update a description of some of the symbols and traditions of the Season of Advent, and some Christmas traditions as well. And I’ve done it again this year. It’s below. You are welcome to share this/any Soulistry reflection with others. The specific link to this Soulistry reflection is https://soulistry.com/journey-through-advent
Instead of the busyness and hectic weeks leading up to Christmas, perhaps consider adopting a gentle waiting, anticipation and preparation for Christmas in the experience of one or more of these traditions. and particularly this year, might inculcate a spirit of calm and peace-filled preparation for the upcoming holidays.
May the Season of Advent bring blessings more than we can ask or imagine! Each week of Advent, a new Soulistry reflection will be posted, focused on the theme of that particular week. And then on Christmas Eve … and on each of the Twelve Days of Christmas, beginning on Christmas Day (Day One of the Twelve Days), a new Soulistry reflection will be posted here at https://soulistry.com/blog 🙂
Let’s do what we can to bring ourselves and those around us to a place of calm – not focus on the negativity of politics – but consider possibilities and experience a way of entering the Season of Advent and then the Season of Christmas with an attitude of gentleness … to one another – and ourselves. May you have a very special Advent experience this year.
Blessing / Gratitude Box / Jar: Advent is an opportunity to “be still” and be aware of the blessings in life and the Gratitude/Blessing (Box/Jar) is a tangible way of encouraging such an attitude.
Take a small box, put a slot in the lid, wrap the box to look like a gift, place it in a central location so that gifts of money can be placed into it each day in thankful gratitude. Invite everyone in the family/house to note the things for which they”re grateful and then have each person choose a currency for each ‘blessing’ on the list and contribute accordingly from their allowance, spending money, earnings, savings etc..
For example – Deposit a quarter (or nickel or dime or dollar or whatever (for each notation on the list) if you had at least two meals that day – for each glass of water consumed that day – for each hour of television you watched that day – for every electrical appliance you used that day – for every light bulk in your home – for each person who has visited a doctor in the past year – for each phone call or text you made that day – for each toilet in your home – for each bath/shower you used that day – for each time the dryer, washer, dishwasher, iron were used that day. Add a quarter (or dime or loonie – whatever) if you’re wearing clothes that have only belonged to you, if you have a bed of your own to sleep, if your house is kept warm (or cool) by anything other than the weather. Have adults add up the total number of years your family members have gone to school and put a dime/quarter/etc. into the box for each year and each person. The list is individual for each family and individual and many other things could be added to the list. The collected money can then be given to a local/global charity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advent Calendar: Many Advent Calendars have little doors numbered for each day throughout the Season of Advent which open to reveal a small gift, treat, symbol of Christmas, Bible verse and each day of Advent, a door is opened.
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Advent Candles: Used for centuries to symbolize Jesus Christ as the Light of the World, they remind believers of the way that Jesus changed the darkness of hatred and evil into the light of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love … themes of the Season of Advent.
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Colours of the Season of Advent: In Roman and Orthodox Christian traditions, purple is the preferred colour while in Protestant and Episcopal/Anglican the colour of royal blue is growing in popularity. The colour blue is reflected in Nature during Advent’s time of the year in much of the western hemisphere when slight colour differences in the sky peer through almost-barren-trees (like this photo taken from our back deck), evening skies no longer reveal the gorgeous sunsets of summer, and birds flying overhead dotting the horizon are seen less frequently. Really nothing spectacular. And yet, maybe its simplicity is its beauty, encouraging us to slow down and be mindful of the gentle wonder of the Season of Advent.
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The Advent Wreath: is circle-shaped as a reminder to those who believe in the Creator / Higher Power/God that there is no beginning and no end to always has been, is now and will be, forever and is a reminder of eternal life forever with God for believers. The four candles around the wreath (one lit on each Sunday morning of the Season of Advent) represent the four Sundays of Advent. The colour of the candles is either purple or royal blue (refer to Advent Colours above) except for the one in the middle of the Advent Wreath which is white candle, symbolizing the light of Jesus and is the last candle to be lit (on Christmas Eve). Some traditions include a pink candle on the third Sunday of Advent. The lighting of the candles for the four weeks of Advent can simply be a ritual without religious connotation.
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The Yule Log has the longest history of all Advent traditions. A burning log was a symbol of home and safety even back in the days of cave-dwellers where fire kept wild animals away from the cave.
The Yule Log tradition (a variation of the Advent Wreath) began in Scandinavian countries when, months before Christmas, a tree was chosen, cut down and allowed to dry so that when it was decorated with ribbons and candles were inserted and then set ablaze (lit from a portion of the previous year’s Yule Log – symbolizing eternity), families made amends with one another. All quarrels were to be forgotten and families were to draw closer together in love and they prayed that their hearts would remain warm throughout the coming year.
The Yule Logsometimeshas sufficient candles to represent each day throughout Advent including four royal blue (or purple) candles for each Sunday in Advent and a large white candle in the centre to represent the birth of Jesus. As in the Advent Wreath, the intensity of light grows each day, with each candle that is lit until there is a blaze of light when the birth of Jesus is celebrated on Christmas.
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Blue Christmas: In the afternoon/early evening of the third Sunday in the Season of Advent, a liturgy (known as ‘Blue Christmas’ … or ‘When Christmas Hurts’ … or ‘Time To Mourn, Time To Heal’) is offered in many churches, communities or funeral homes. For some, Christmas may be a painful reminder of their loss of a loved family member or friend who has died. It may be a stressful time due to financial constraints. The constant refrain on radio and tv and in shopping malls about the happiness of the holiday season and getting together with family and friends can remind people of what they have lost or have never had. The anguish of broken relationships, the insecurity of unemployment, the weariness of ill health, the pain of isolation, the fear of possible ramifications of political decisions – each can contribute to a feeling of being alone in the midst of celebrations.
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Cards: The tradition of sending Christmas greetings began in England as school children, away from home, wrote Christmas letters home during the Season of Advent to their parents in their best penmanship. Adults also sent Christmas cards to their friends. In 1840, the Christmas card as we now know it, is said to have first appeared.
Designed by William Egley, a young engraver’s apprentice, the card showed people singing Christmas carols, giving food to the poor and dancing. Since that time, the tradition of making homemade Christmas cards and sending Advent letters reviewing the events of the past year have become part of the Christmas preparation.
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The Nativity Scene: The creche / manger / Nativity (representing the scene of Jesus’ birth) was first made by St. Francis of Assisi around the year 122 C.E. when he realized that people in his little village in Italy had lost sight of the real meaning of Christmas. When the Nativity Scene is on display in homes or public areas during Advent, the creche/manger where Jesus was born is empty until Christmas Eve or Christmas morning when the Baby is added. The Magi are reserved for the Season of Epiphany (which begins January 6th in western celebrations) and are not added to the Nativity Scene until that time.
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Holiday Foods: There are many fascinating customs throughout the world when it comes to Advent and Christmas celebrations. Armenians eat fried fish and boiled spinach; Albanians eat pancakes made without oil or butter leaving a spoonful of food on the plate indicating gratitude for having more than they need. In Poland, special nativity cookies are baked which are stamped with scenes of the Nativity (Creche/Manger) and they exchange nativity cookies in the same way others in Advent exchange Christmas cards. When dinner is served, an empty chair is placed for the Holy Child and a few straws are scattered on the dinner table to remind everyone of the Stable in which Christ was born.
In North America, mince pie is a favourite tradition which began in England as mutton pie, first baked in loaf pans in the shape of the Manger; the top crust was cut to look like the baby wrapped in cloths and the suet looked like straw; the apples and raisins represent “plenty” – the generosity of God; and the spices represent the gifts of the Magi. At one time, eating pies was believed to bring good luck so people would eat one pie each day between Christmas and Epiphany perhaps heralding the making of little pies (tarts) of today.
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Christmas Gifts: In the pre-Christian Roman Empire, it was common to give symbolic gifts at the beginning of the new year: a gift of sweets to make the year sweeter for the recipient … a gift of a lamp so the year might be filled with light … the gift of a coin so it would be a prosperous new year. Early Christians didn’t make much of Christmas (the day of Christ’s birth). It wasn’t until the Bishop Liberious of Rome decreed that people should celebrate December 25th as when Christ was born possibly because the Romans had used that date as the feast of Saturn, the sun god, and Christians honoured Christ as the Light of the World.
Around the 16th century, people commonly received three gifts representing something pleasant (e.g. perfume), something useful (e.g. a wooden spatula) and something to enrich their spirituality (e.g. a book on prayer). In some countries, gifts are exchanged on Epiphany, January 6th because presents symbolize the gifts brought by the Magi to the Christ Child.
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Christmas Ornaments: In Germany, the first Christmas trees were decorated with fruit, gilded nuts, paper roses and the Christ Child. Later, glass balls in beautiful colours replaced the fruit. In North America, the first ornaments were homemade – long strings of popcorn and cranberries, paper chains and paper stars. On trees in Poland, peacocks and birds joined angels and stars on the tree. Swedish people hang gaily painted wooden ornaments and straw figures of animals and children. In Denmark there are mobiles of bells, stars, snowflakes, hearts and sometimes tiny Danish flags. The Japanese adorn their trees with tiny fans and paper lanterns. Lithuanian women make straw birdcages, stars and geometric shapes. Czechoslovakian trees are hung with ornaments made of painted eggshells and a spider and web for good luck because of the legend of the poor woman who had nothing to put on her child’s tree until Christmas morning when she woke to find the branches covered with spider’s webs turned to silver by the rising sun. Chrismons (see below) are special ornaments.
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Christmas Stockings: Bishop Nicholas (later to be known as St. Nicholas lived around 325 C.E. and he secretly would give a gift of money to needy families. When he tossed the gold coins in the window one night, some landed in the stockings that had been hung to dry in front of the fireplace, so people hang Christmas Stockings in the hope that the spirit of St. Nicholas will visit them, too.
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The Christmas Tree: is a symbol of everlasting life – living forever with God. According to legend, the first Christmas Tree was revealed one Christmas Eve over 120 years ago. The English missionary, Winfred (later named St. Boniface) was trying to win people for Christ. He found a group gathered at a large oak tree about to sacrifice a little prince to their god, Thor. Winifred stopped them, cut down the tree and as it fell, a young fir tree sprang up. Winfred told the tribespeople about the birth of Christ and that the fir tree was a symbol of goodness and love that should be taken into their homes.
Others believe that the Christmas Tree tradition began in the 16th century with Martin Luther who was inspired by the beauty of tall evergreens against a starry sky. He cut down a tree, took it home to his family, placed lighted candles on the branches and said that they stood for the stars in the heavens above Bethlehem.
Chrismons: are ornaments made in the shape of Christian symbols – reminders of God’s unconditional love expressed through the life of Jesus Christ. The word ‘Chrismon’ is a combination of ‘Christ’ and ‘monogram’. Many of the monograms of Christ were used by Early Christians to identify themselves to one another and to designate meeting locations and places of worship often secret location). Usually made in colour combinations of white, gold and silver to symbolize the purity and majesty of God’s son, Chrismons are often hung on Jesse Trees during the Season of Advent, which are lit by tiny lights (white to represent the Light of the world; blue to represent the Hope of the world – and the Season of Advent). In former times, Chrismons were crocheted from white cotton but more recently, they have been made from felt (sometimes styrofoam), decorated with gold and silver spray, braid, sequins, glitter etc. and white ribbon is used to hang them on the Jesse Tree.
Some symbols used as Chrismons include: STAR (the star that guided the Magi); LIGHT (Jesus, the Light of the world); BOAT (with Christ, the storms of life can be sailed through; FISH (connection to Early Christians who used the fish symbol to self-identify their home as a Christian home); BIRD (dove/Holy Spirit which encourage the spiritual journey); ANGEL (angels who awoke the shepherds announcing Jesus’ birth); CIRCLES (reminder of the earth / Creation and God’s love which has no ending; different colours remind of the various colours of people on earth); PAPER CHAIN (the linking together of the Nations and People who are held together by God’s love); BELLS (announced “good news” of Jesus’ birth); CANDY CANES (the staff/cane of shepherds who were the first to visit the Christ Child); TRUMPET (the heralding of Jesus’ birth); and so many more. Sometimes, images and people in the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) are used to decorate Jesse Trees and Scripture is read as the symbol was hung on the tree Moses – burning bush (Exodus 3); Noah – rainbow (Genesis 9); Jacob – ladder (Genesis 28); Joseph – coat of many colours (Genesis 37); Abraham and Sarah – tent (Genesis 21 & 22); David – Star of David (1 & 2 Samuel) etc.
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Holly: In the time when Christians were being persecuted because of their religion, they decorated their houses as the Romans did so they wouldn’t be noticed. As the numbers of Christians grew and Christianity became accepted, they gave the holly new meaning and it became part of the tradition of preparation for Christmas. Because holly keeps its berries all year, it signifies everlasting life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jesse Tree: The Jesse Tree had its beginnings in medieval times and in early times, churches added Jesse Trees to large carvings, tapestries and stained glass windows to help the illiterate people of the time to learn about the Bible from Creation to the Christmas Story. The ‘name’ (Jesse) comes from the father of King David (an ancestor of Jesus). The people of Israel expected their Messiah to be born from King David’s line (“A sprout from the root of Jesse”) and the image of ‘tree’ revolves around an understanding that tree branches are signs of new life/ new beginnings. As Jesus was a descendent of King David, Christians believe that the Jesse Tree is Jesus’ “family tree.” In recent times, the Jesse Tree has been used as an Advent Calendar where each day through Advent (or when used in congregational settings, just on the four Sundays of The Season of Advent) a Chrismon is hung on the tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MORE ADVENT CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS AROUND THE WORLD
In Denmark, three things mark the Season of Advent: Nisse decorations (Nisse are the Danes’ response to Santa’s elves) and house cleaning home/yard/stables and barns (which must be completed by Christmas Eve), Calendar Candles (candles that are lit and burned just a little bit over night until it is finished on Christmas Eve) and Christmas Calendars where students bring a small wrapped package and then students take a turn opening a gift one of the days leading up to Christmas.
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In Finland, candles play an important role in the Season of Advent and often snow lanterns with candles burning in them show up in front and back yards.
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In the Netherlands, December 6th (St. Nicholas Day) is a day of great excitement for the children. Sinterklaas arrives by boat and then strolls through the town and city streets, delivering candies, nuts and treats in the wooden shoes the children leave out before they go to bed that night.
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In Mexico, the nine-day Las Posada procession begins on December 16th where a boy and girl are chosen to play Joseph and Mary and others carry candles, lanterns and and often, an empty manger. Often the procession sings at a particular house, asking for a room for Mary and Joseph and the homeowners respond in song. Other Advent Mexican customs include the breaking of a star-shaped pinata, the sharing of a meal and the sharing of Nacimientos (small creches – often homemade).
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In the Philippines, Advent begins at 4:00 am on December 16th when church bells ring and the Misa de Gallo (the Mass of the Rooster) begins (some believe) to show penance. The Philippines hold the title of the “Longest Celebrated Advent/Christmas Season) because carols are sung from September to January as parols (star-shaped lanterns) are usually lit with candles.
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A PERSONAL ASIDE: I love the Season of Advent and enjoy making crafts and Christmas gifts in the Season accompanied by gentle quiet music that slowly welcomes me into the ambience of Advent.
I set up a Christmas tree and decorate it with Royal Blue lights and it remains up for the entire Season of Advent. Then in four weeks time, the blue lights are replaced by red and green and white lights as Christmas crafts I’ve made over the years, Christmas cards and decorations slowly emerge until the culmination of Christmas Day for me … turkey! And on Boxing Day … turkey sandwiches with Vancouver Island cranberries made into homemade cranberry sauce. Yay!
The Season of Advent and the Season of Christmas can be gentle and wonderful (wonder-filled) experiences leading to the Season of Epiphany when the tree now has only white lights on it – white … the colour of the Season of Epiphany. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Right now, my focus is on the Season of Advent.
To that end, on each of the Sundays in Advent, a Soulistry reflection will be posted. On Christmas Day – another reflection.
And then, on each of the Twelve Days of Christmas, there will be a separate Soulistry reflection. 🙂
Whether observing these Seasons as part of a religious practice, out of curiosity, or simply because you want to have something to help you move your focus away from the political rancour and rhetoric and on to exploring and experiencing spirituality as part of your being, you’re welcome to subscribe – receive each of the ‘Soulistry’ reflections during the Seasons of Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent as well as other reflections. Personal information is never shared or sold to anyone or any organization.
May the four weeks of the Season of Advent bring blessings your way more than you can ask or imagine.
I love watching them poke their heads above the ground, changing their location every year in the back yard, making their appearance in so many different varieties. Intriguing and delightful, they put a smile on my face every year. What are “they”?
Mushrooms! It’s that time of the year when dampness and earth combine and create mushrooms.
Last year, it was shaggy ink mushrooms (bottom photo). This year it’s — I haven’t a clue what they are. (top photo). It’s the first time they’ve appeared here … don’t know if they’re edible or poisonous but won’t eat them until I’ve done some research!
These days, there’s a lot of stress. People are reacting to the news. Author Munia Khan wrote that “if you feel all damp and lonely like a mushroom, find the thick, creamy soup of joyfulness and just dive into it in order to make life tastier.” What delicious words!
For those who are feeling like Khan’s mushroom description, may they “find the thick, creamy soup of joyfulness” … joy in Nature … joy in creativity … joy in new birth … joy in gardening … joy in hanging laundry outdoors in the sunshine … joy in picking fruit off a fruit tree … joy in possibilities … joy in … whatever! And then “just dive into it in order to make life tastier.”
It’s doable. It’s possible. Even if only for a brief moment. But in that brief moment, joy can begin to bubble up from within.
Thanks, little mushrooms, for gifting me with some new insights.
“Joy can spring like a flower even from the cliffs of despair” wrote author and aviator Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Is it possible? Can joy ever spring from the cliffs of despair?
I remember despair emerging as I heard responses by government officials when military-style guns were used in school shootings, at concerts, in synagogues / temples / churches, at sports events, in malls: “It’s too early – we don’t have all the facts” … “Now is not the time.” It’s a fact that military-style guns are used in mass shootings. If “now” is not the time, when will it be?
When the U.S. Constitution was signed, the weapon referred to was a rifle that could shoot 1-2 rounds per minute. The gun used in many shootings (A-15 style firearm) fires 45 rounds per minute! Why legalize such firearm? Get rid of them – learn from other countries like Australia which changed its laws in 1996. When that country enacted strict gun laws, there were no further mass shootings. Not one!
There is evil in the hearts of those who won’t support strict, enforceable gun laws. There is evil of the hearts of politicians who do nothing to protect human beings, but rather increase their investment portfolios by investing in the manufacture of military-style guns, and mumbling phrases about they didn’t want to lose their guns. No one is talking about the loss of guns for hunting, self-protection. It’s about the use of military-style guns.
The word “evil” doesn’t stop with politicians or with those who won’t support enforcing gun laws against military-style guns. The evil has spread as signs appeared at college campuses that read “Women are Property!” … as young men harass girls and young women with frightening shouts of “Your body. My choice!”
Evil. So why does this ‘Soulistry’ reflection speak of flowers?
Flowers have long been understood as one of the most recognized signs of love. I will always choose the path of love. I have been making and sending Fabric Flowers like these to those who are trying to find peace and joy in the midst of evil … and because I want to stand up for love – not evil. As our postal system is on rotating strikes, I’m no longer sending Fabric Flowers in person. Instead, I’m sending emails with a photo of the Fabric Flowers – as a visible sign. A visible sign of love. A visible sign of prayer. A visible sign for courage and support. A visible sign that there are people who stand with them, support them, love them.
Can “joy spring like a flower even from the depths of despair”? It can. But for that to happen, evil must be named.
Some Christians claim that what is happening is “God’s will.” I ask “what kind of God would sanction evil?” No the man known a Jesus. Jesus confronted and named evil, long ago. We must name evil today.
Along those lines, here’s something to think about … when the letters: E V I L are reversed, they become L I V E. Evil must be named, confronted and challenged so change can happen and all can l i v e.
As with all ‘Soulistry reflections, you are welcome and invited to share this with others and send a photo of the Fabric Flowers (or make your own!) with your own personal message. May joy spring like a flower – even from the depths of despair.
It appears unexpectedly. … wears different costumes. … sometimes puts a smile on our face. … often brings sadness to our heart. … is not predictable either in timing or outcome.
Today and the coming days, weeks and months, grief is being and will be felt – personal losses, political losses, relationship losses
We need to acknowledge the presence of grief. We need to give it, its space.
As the ebb and flow of grief finds its way into your life may a gentle warm shaft of healing light wing your way, encouraging you to remember … “You are stronger than you think you are.”
And in the meantime, remember to breathe remember to be gentle remember to be kind to yourself.
My dear friends,
Blessing / Gratitude Box / Jar
Advent Calendar: Many Advent Calendars have little doors numbered for each day throughout the Season of Advent which open to reveal a small gift, treat, symbol of Christmas, Bible verse and each day of Advent, a door is opened.
Advent Candles: Used for centuries to symbolize Jesus Christ as the Light of the World, they remind believers of the way that Jesus changed the darkness of hatred and evil into the light of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love … themes of the Season of Advent.
Colours of the Season of Advent:
Blue Christmas
The Nativity Scene
Holiday Foods
Christmas Gifts
Christmas Ornaments
Christmas Stockings
Chrismons: are ornaments made in the shape of Christian symbols – reminders of God’s unconditional love expressed through the life of Jesus Christ. The word ‘Chrismon’ is a combination of ‘Christ’ and ‘monogram’. Many of the monograms of Christ were used by Early Christians to identify themselves to one another and to designate meeting locations and places of worship often secret location). Usually made in colour combinations of white, gold and silver to symbolize the purity and majesty of God’s son, Chrismons are often hung on Jesse Trees during the Season of Advent, which are lit by tiny lights (white to represent the Light of the world; blue to represent the Hope of the world – and the Season of Advent). In former times, Chrismons were crocheted from white cotton but more recently, they have been made from felt (sometimes styrofoam), decorated with gold and silver spray, braid, sequins, glitter etc. and white ribbon is used to hang them on the Jesse Tree.
Jesse Tree
