For almost four decades, I have loved Reginald. Over the years, some people have told me that Reginald is plain, ordinary, ugly.
Sure, … his legs are bowed. … his arms are pudgy. … his ears are big. … his body is out of shape. … his eyes bulge. … his ears are large – very large. … he’s the size of a three year old and his clothes are all hand-me-downs. … his neck is short and almost non-existent. His mouth is – well … “not typical.”
But to me, Reginald is lovely. He is a reminder to me about Margaret Wolfe Hungerford’s famous words: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
Why do we allow society to dictate what is beautiful … of value … worthwhile … and what is not?
Reginald speaks words that penetrate deep to the heart of the hearer He makes me laugh He listens with intentionality and concentration He … There’s just sooooo much that I love about Reginald. Ugly? Not at all! Reginald is a delight. He helps people forget their worries and fears. He brings smiles to their faces. He loves children – and they love him.
One Christmas Eve, Reginald appeared in the pulpit of a church … literally “in” the pulpit, sitting on top of the lectern. People listened. People learned. People loved. In him, people saw beauty.
Reginald is not a human being. He was created in a day-long puppet-making workshop. When I had sewn on his last arm and began to put clothes on him, other participants laughed. They said he was ugly and that my creation was “anything but creative or artistic.” They were wrong.
I look at Reginald and I see beauty. I look at my family and I see beauty. I look at my neighbourhood and I see beauty. I look at my friends and I see beauty. I look at this world and I see beauty.
Why do we allow society to dictate what is beautiful, of value, worthwhile … and what is not? Why do some people have difficulty seeing themselves as a precious child of the universe who is blessed – who has gifts to share … beauty to reflect … intelligence to use … wisdom to impart and at the same time, much yet to learn? The Creator does not make junk.
The Creator makes beauty. Reginald helps me remember to look at the world and all who inhabit it, in a special way.
Beauty. It is all around. We just need eyes to see.
Thank you, Reginald, for helping us all see beauty.
Long ago, Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius was born. Considered to be one of the most important Stoic philosophers, Aurelius penned these words: “When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive: to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
The world seems to be going crazy on so many levels. It would be easy to give way to the fear, the anger, the hopelessness, the racism, the hatred.
It would be easy …. but I refuse to give power to evil.
Today, I awoke. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke. I could breathe. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke. I could think. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke, I enjoyed something. Many things. … I am grateful.
Today, I awoke. I loved. … I am grateful.
Each day, may we waken and find something each day … no matter how small for which we are grateful.
I picked these flowers from my garden. I am grateful for them and I am grateful that today, I awoke.
Last night, I lit a candle for the people of the United States.
This night, I will light a candle again because many are bereft at the news and find fear the occupier of their thoughts.
Lighting a candle is a simple act but if I light a candle this night and you – and you – and you – and you light a candle this night for the people of the United States and the nights to come … whether we light a candle in our imagination in our prayers or in real time and space, may hope be lit.
It only takes one match to light one candle … one voice to light a conversation … one conversation to light a change in one person
Let’s light a candle. Let’s light many candles. Let’s light conversations. And who knows maybe those conversations will turn into votes.
At this point in time, it’s about HOPE even if we don’t believe there is hope.
This month, two wonderful young couples are celebrating the birth of their first child. I shared that good news with a friend and her response was not what I was expecting … “Why would they bring a child into the world at this time?” she said with fear in her voice. I stopped in my tracks. Then I remembered the fear in my mother’s voice when I told her I was expecting her first grandchild.
Years later, a conversation with Mom helped me understand her unexpected response. She and Dad had lived through WW11. When I told her I was pregnant, it was 1970 and the Vietnam War and the Kent State Shootings were part of the US story at that time. In Canada, there was the October Crisis; the FLQ (Front de libération du Québec) which kidnapped British Diplomat James Cross and Quebec Minister Pierre Laporte who was later killed; the Canadian Prime Minister invoked the War Measures Act; and martial law and arrests in Quebec sparked national debate about civil liberties.
I understood my mother’s fear. And yet, even though there was a lot of anxiety about the future, the excitement and joy outweighed the fear for the future for me.
My friend’s question – “Why bring a child into the world at this time” – has been asked since time immemorial.
The answer is always the same: “Hope … children bring hope.” Hope!
Welcome to this world, Samantha Violet LaBine and Freya Camryn Quinn and all Newborn Babies. 🙂 Welcome to this world, little ones! This world you’ve entered is big – very big!
It has … trees and animals, plants and bugs, galaxies and planets, rivers and oceans, stars and suns, fish and flowers and people. … people who speak different language. And people who can’t speak at all. … people who have different-shaped and different-coloured eyes. And some who have none. … people who are tall. While some are not. … people with red hair, brown, white, yellow, black and colours in-between. And some with no hair at all. … people with red skin, brown skin, black skin, yellow skin, white skin. And shades in-between.
This world you’ve entered is God’s creation. It’s exciting … and full of wonder! But it’s not nearly as exciting … as it will be. It’s not nearly as wonder-filled … as it could be. You see, the world is waiting … waiting for each of you to grow and learn … waiting for you to become a child, then a teen, then a grown-up. There is a reason you are here.
As time passes, you will discover your purpose, and in yet-to-be-determined-ways, you will contribute to the world in your own unique fashion. Yes, there is a reason you are here. 🙂
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men <sic> are created equal.”
Tomorrow is July 4th. Americans will be marking Independence Day and its adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776 which includes this phrase: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men <sic> are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
“All are created equal… have certain unalienable Rights”. Really?
Unalienable rights since yesterday’s passing of the bill that is about to hurt millions of Americans – that will slash Medicaid leaving 17 million people without health care – that will close rural hospitals – that will devastate hursing homes – that will cut nutrition assistance for poor children – that will add trillions to their national debt – that will slash Medicaid leaving 17 million people without health care? – that will cause deaths – that will affect farmers (and food chain) – and more
Lately, I’ve been looking at the flowers in my back yard. I see my bleeding hearts wave in the wind and am grateful for ‘bleeding heart’ people around the world who speak out to support those in desperate situations.
On this July 4th weekend, I particularly remember and pray for ‘bleeding heart’ Americans who have been and continue to speak out … against Project 2025 … against the big bad bill … against the injustices of SCOTUS decisions; who are talking about Project 2025 and acknowledging that it is real; who are holding rallies in support of minorities who face racism, hatred, victimization, migrants who have done nothing illegal; who are in solidarity with women who have been told that even if their pregnancy were caused by incest or rape or that their life were in danger, there would be no health care for them; who feel and express compassion for children whose parents can’t provide for adequate housing, medical/dental care, nourishing food, schooling, socialization; in support of physicians who follow the principles of medical ethics (including medical confidentiality and non-maleficence i.e. not to inflict harm), yet who are forced to break medical confidentiality by revealing the names of women seeking abortions; who are allies of LGBTQ2S+ whose lives will be dramatically changed if draconian laws are implemented; who stand up for, stand beside, and stand with people of differing ethnicities, skin colours, sexualities, abilities, religions who are mocked, ridiculed, harassed, physically attacked, kidnapped, killed.
It is difficult to wish “Happy July 4th” this year when so many are not equal, even though the United States Declaration of Independence (posted at the end of this reflection), notes that all citizens “are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
They may be “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,” but those Rights are being eroded more and more each day and particularly yesterday, July 3, 2025, when the House of Representatives voted to support what was known as the Big Beautiful Bill. Those rights have been destroyed by Republican politicians who have forgotten or chosen to ignore, the oaths they took to “support and defend” the Constitution of the United States.
It is difficult to wish Americans “Happy July 4th”.
May the people of the United States have courage and strength, vision and persistence to “Keep on, Keeping On” in the pursuit of their unalienable rights by speaking out, speaking up and voting “blue” in November – voting for people who will bring the country back to the democratic vision of their founding fathers.
July 4, 2025 will not be a day to wish people “Happy July Fourth.” The Bill that was presented and voted on in both the Senate and House of Representatives was passed by the Republicans. The blame is theirs. The deaths that will come will be on them. Had Senator Murkowski had the courage to vote “no,” the Bill would have stopped there and not gone on to the House of Representatives. She said she voted in favour of it as she believed her first responsibility was to the people of Alaska. She said that she had received promises from the President that would reduce some of the effect Alaskans would feel because of the passing of the Bill. Clearly she believes he will honour his commitment to her. He will not. Nor will he honour anything he told the House Representatives who changed their vote at the last minute.
Read the Declaration of Independence and see if, after July 3rd’s vote, you recognize the United States the way it was intended.
Then, after the shock wears off and more migrants who have entered legally, done no criminal act, yet have been arrested, detained, deported to another country or the concentration camp in the Everglades in Florida, escalates … as hospitals close; as trans are kicked out of the military; as seniors are forced out of nursing homes; as children die of malnutrition – become even more active and prepare for the mid-terms (God willing nothing will deter them from happening) so that the United States (as intended by the writers of the Declaration of Independence intended) can be a democratic country once again.
On July 2, 1776, Congress voted to dissolve the connection between “this country” and Great Britain, declaring the “United Colonies of North America” to be free and independent states.
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776 The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America:
“When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton
Proud to be a Canadian? Yep. Happy to be a Canadian? Very much. Grateful to be a Canadian? Understatement.
Today is Canada Day. Some people are celebrating! Local towns are having parades … people have the day off work … families and friends are together at picnics, on outings, visiting one another. Canadian flags are flying … happiness and pride for many because there is much for which we can be grateful.
Yet many people are criticizing our country … pointing fingers … questioning political decisions made in the past and present … wishing history had revealed different stories.
Frustration, dismay, grief, embarrassment, anger, disappointment, shame, resentment are being felt – like any day.
But I wonder – I wonder if … for one day, just one day, we celebrated … not dwell on the negative.
I wonder if … for one day, just one day, we focused on the goodness of this country and not complain
I wonder if for one day, just one day, we expressed gratitude for the privilege of being Canadian.
May all Canadians and Canadian-Wanna-Be’s have a happy and safe Canada Day. 🙂
This is not the usual Father’s Day reflection. Father’s Day – a day marked in North America and other parts of the world to remember and celebrate the fathers in our lives … biological, foster, adoptive, grandfathers, etc. And at the same time, it is ‘usual’, because it speaks of love … love of a daughter for a father when he was fully present as “Dad,” and love of a daughter for a father who began to fade away from being “Dad.”
It was many decades ago when I learned of Dad’s dementia diagnosis.
It was a journey that our whole family took, but particularly Mom, as she watched the man she deeply loved, fade away. Dad was a brilliant man – highly intelligent; articulate; wonderful conversationalist; art historian; consultant for the National Art Gallery in Canada; entrepreneur; stockbroker; loving and devoted father, husband and grandfather; autodidact and listed in Canada’s “Who’s Who.” Not surprisingly, none of us could understand the dementia diagnosis for him.
The “why” questions emerged. At that time, so long ago, little was known about the disease. And there were no guidelines for caregivers.
Mom devoted herself to Dad and as a result, her health suffered. We almost lost her. A decision had to be made and because Mom emotionally couldn’t do that, I flew across Canada to be with them, signed the paperwork and travelled with them to the care facility. While it was one of the most difficult decisions and days of my life, it must have been far worse for both of them.
I lived over 4,000 miles away. My brother lived over 2,000 miles away. He was seriously ill. We couldn’t be there on a regular basis and take some of the caregiving of Dad off Mom’s shoulders. Mom was on her own. As she no longer drove a car, she took the bus – an hour’s bus ride to the facility in the morning, and an hour’s bus ride home at night in all kinds of weather. From the day I signed the papers and Dad moved into institutional care, Mom was with him – breakfast, lunch, dinner – every day. Not surprisingly, her health suffered. We almost lost her. Physically. Her doctor became so concerned that he told her (and phoned to tell me) that she had to stay away from the facility and couldn’t visit Dad for six months. We almost lost her again. This time, emotionally.
She just couldn’t imagine not being with Dad every day. Her grief was compounded by guilt and exhaustion at all levels.
When her doctor intervened, Mom was understandably angry and upset. But she listened, heard my concern for her and my reassurance that Dad was safe and well cared for, did as she was advised and came to live nearby me. Fiercely independent, she agreed to the move but wanted to maintain her independence. Slowly, her health began to improve. And slowly she began to see and understand the importance of self-care.
When she returned to Dad, she was healthy. And, she was wiser. She knew how to balance her time … time with Dad and time for personal rest and re-creation. After Dad died, Mom formed the first Alzheimer’s Association in Ontario. No surprise to anyone who knew her. Mom (Joy Mack) was a woman of many gifts and talents. She was a courageous woman with a vision who was determined to help people in Canada and their families faced with the diagnosis of dementia/Alzheimer’s and to this day, thanks to her, the Alzheimer’s Association in Ontario is an integral source of information, counselling and support for those dealing with dementia either as caregivers or diagnosed with the illness.
That was long ago. Today, diagnoses of dementia/Alzheimer’s continue to be pronounced. And as I get older, it seems that particular diagnosis is happening more and more frequently. The road ahead is not an easy one for caregivers of dementia patients. The person they knew, is no longer the same person. As the illness is first diagnosed and then progresses, it can take more and more of a beloved spouse, parent, sibling, grandparent, far away from reality (sometimes, slowly; sometimes, quickly). Gratefully, new medication is delaying progression in many instances but still, the changes are evident and there is deep pain at all levels for all concerned.
While dementia patients endure many basic frustrations and losses (memory is only one), caregivers endure frustration and loss when changes in their loved one emerge … the ability to enter into a meaningful conversation becomes short-lived or non-existent … the ability to understand banking or technology or recipes or even how the phone works becomes short-lived or non-existent … the ability to understand it to be a particular day or month or year … the ability to remember a birthday or anniversary or Christmas etc..
As the illness progresses, things can change for the caregiver even more … loss, grief, reality set in as the realization that the above ‘abilities’ are not functioning and no matter what they do, they cannot help their loved one to regain those abilities … stress can bring physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional responses / reactions – not sleeping well – exhaustion – not able to concentrate – anger – reliance on alcohol / prescription drugs / medication to help ‘get through the day’ – social isolation due to not wanting to leave their loved one alone for too long – frustration at having to repeat answers to the questions over and over and over – patience is no longer part of their personality – a sense of guilt arises about leaving the person alone at home while the caregiver gets their hair done, goes grocery-shopping, takes a course/workshop, etc..
What to do? Self-care. How that self-care is manifest, is different for every caregiver because every situation is different. But the directions of flight attendants in plane emergencies: (“If the oxygen mask drops down, put yours on first and then help the person who needs help”) are a guide: self care, first and foremost. Dementia is a difficult journey for all concerned – the person diagnosed, family members who try to help by bringing up memories of the past and say “Do you remember when we … you … I did such and such? Do you remember … fill in the blanks.”
The reality is, they don’t remember and realizing they don’t remember only serves to cause them distress. So we must not go that route with them. We must “be” with them – where they are … in their time zone, in their physical space, in their understanding of situations and people. Not insist that they are with us in our time zone, physical space, understanding of situations and people.
My hope and prayer is … that family and friends will remember the importance of not asking the “do you remember” questions. May those who are afflicted with dementia know they are loved. May family members and friends not judge the decisions caregivers make for themselves, or for their loved one who has been diagnosed with dementia, for they are doing the very best they can.
And may caregivers remember the importance of self-care and take care of themselves.
First.
Their loved ones would want them to.
A PERSONAL ASIDE: Yes, this might be an unusual Father’s Day reflection, but hopefully it is seen in light of tribute to a man who faced his devastating illness with courage. The man I remember this day and many other days, Albert Edward Mack (Eddie) was a gentle, wise man – a loving and respectful-of-all-people man. The lessons he taught were ‘gift’ as I was growing up, and even more so now that I am older than he was when he died.
This day, I remember Albert Edward (Eddie) Mack with much love and deep gratitude.
Rest in peace, Dad, this Father’s Day and all days. You were a wonderful father, grandfather, husband to Mom and so much more. I honour you. Your memory is such a blessing.
I love learning. No, scratch that. I’m passionate about learning! I try to learn something new every day. Some days the learning is huge. Other days it’s subtle. Some days the learning is about me … what I believe, who I am, things I need to work on. Some days the learning is about others … how hurtful, resentful, unloving, unkind, mean-spirited, unforgiving, people can be … how generous, gracious, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, people can be. Some days the learning involves a new approach … to technology or art or gardening or writing or music or a new chess move or craft or history or literature or religion or politics.
And some days, it’s a combination.
Each night before I go to bed, I ask myself “what have you learned today?”
Recently a difficult moment and at the same time grace-filled moment, helped highlight a lesson again.
It was the lesson of forgiveness. Again.
Just when I think I’ve learned this lesson, another situation / person / event reminds me that forgiveness happens over and over and over and over again.
Forgiveness of others … forgiveness of self … forgiveness of God/the Creator.
They’re not easy lessons, but they are important and integral to spiritual growth and self-awareness.
This is a difficult time for many. Terrible things are happening. … The people of Ukraine continue to be at war. … Say the words “Israel, Palestine, Gaza ” and people “take sides.” … People flee their homes in the hope of finding refuge from fire, ICE, earthquakes, tornados and more … Fear, anger, loneliness, suspicion, hatred permeate conversations at home and work and on social media This is a difficult time for many.
The concept of ‘gentleness’ … the quality of being kind … comes to mind. Gentleness has disappeared and is no longer present. Why? … Can gentleness exist when fear overwhelms? … Can gentleness exist when suspicion transcends reason? … Can gentleness exist when anger rages? … Can gentleness exist when hatred fuels communities, families, elections, countries, politicians, so that there is no space for hope to filter in, for fear to be lifted, for hatred to dissipate?
Being gentle does *not* mean ignoring the role we can play by … being a voice for the voiceless … righting wrongs … challenging principalities and powers by our words, thoughts, actions, prayers.
Being gentle *does* mean … speaking in tones and words that don’t threaten … acting in ways that don’t incite … “thinking through” situations and responding rather than reacting. … listening to the voices of those who have walked similar paths before us: Gandhi, Anne Frank, Malala, Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus, Elie Wiesel, the Dalai Lama and many others.
Being gentle *does* mean … not giving power to hurtful words in personal emails, social media posts, phone calls, snail mail letters … focus on addressing wrongs in our own community we’ve overlooked or ignored in the past because it was happening to *the other* and not to us, because we didn’t want to get involved, or we didn’t think it would make a difference.
Hurtful words and actions can push us forward so we give financial support to organizations who are being threatened … offer sanctuary in our homes, our cities, our countries … speak gentle words of strength, courage, steadfastness and hope to those who are deeply wounded by the rhetoric and chaos.
Embodying a life of gentleness could mean much to individuals, families, communities, countries and this world.
May we be gentle with one another. May we be gentle with ourselves. “Be gentle with yourself and others. You are a child of the Universe. So are they. You have a right to be here. They do, too. So let us be gentle with others and ourselves.” <an adaptation of American writer Max Ehrmann who penned the “Desiderata.”>
Many seem unable to experience hope or joy these days. But on the last weekend in April, both were experienced by well over 500 on an island in British Columbia, Canada at the “Nanaimo Infusion.”
The story is simple: one Canadian (Tod Maffin) was concerned by the disintegrating trust between Americans and Canadians because of the tariff war created by the President of the US and the increasingly frightening situation many Americans were experiencing. He wanted to “do something.” So he posted a very short video on TikTok and invited Americans to come to his home town of Nanaimo, British Columbia one weekend to meet, experience some Canadian hospitality, possibly make new friends over a meal. He thought 4-5 people from a neighbouring State would take him up on his invitation.
It wasn’t just 4-5 but more than five “hundred” … from sooooo many States: Oregon, New York, Florida, Washington, North Dakota, Idaho, Indiana, Texas, Illinois, Virginia, New Mexico, Alabama — and more!
The weekend was incredible! People gathered on the Friday, meeting one another, enjoying the arts and crafts market and delicious food from the food trucks (in greater numbers than people could remember even being at Canada Day celebrations!). They went on free “old town” Nanaimo tours organized by Nanaimo residents; restaurants buzzed with happy conversations by the influx of tourists; some Americans were “adopted” for an afternoon or a day by BC’ers who wanted to give Americans a taste of the BC experience on the weekend; many went boating, shopping, pubbing, kayaking, crafting, whale watching and more. One fellow from Abbotsford, B.C. created “Tod’s Nanaimo Infusion” tags to put at the end of red lanyards that many bought or brought with them to identify themselves as “Infusion” participants at airports, ferry terminals, restaurants etc.
Smiles were everywhere! Laughter filled the air. The joy was palpable. And phrases of “I am so happy!!!” echoed throughout the two days in Maffeo-Sutton Park. On the Saturday, over 500 gathered again for a “family photo” at the park. It was the birthday of the originator of “Nanaimo Infusion” and hundreds spontaneously broke into loud and joy-filled singing of “Happy Birthday” as he stepped on the outdoor stage to welcome them. He was more-than-surprised!
After the huge “family photo” was taken, photos and conversations with Tod were a “must” … cell phones popped out of pockets and purses as email info was exchanged … gifts were given … gifts were exchanged … people were interviewed by local and national media. And as the afternoon drew to a close, many lingered, not wanting to leave … not wanting to let go of the wonderful feelings of hope and joy – and safety! Sadly, “safety” was a factor for many Americans who had registered for the Nanaimo Infusion but cancelled in the last week as the US President instilled fear about the possibility of ICE arresting Americans who held dual passports or were LGBTQ+ at the border and deporting them. Even though they forfeited plane, hotel, ferry deposits because they couldn’t feel secure that they could return home safely, they were part of the Discord channel (an instant messaging and VoIP social platform) channel Tod created and maintained and it quickly became a way for people to begin to get to know one another before the Nanaimo Infusion and afterwards.
Deep friendships have been made, lives have been changed, and people have returned or are returning (some extended their holidays to further explore Vancouver Island’s charm and beauty) with memories that will last a lifetime. My heart is full, the sense of “family” was tangible and the memories of the joy and expressions of happiness as Canadians and Americans gathered together in Nanaimo was and is, very special.
Remembering the words of former Prime Minister Jack Layton “My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world” may the “Nanaimo Infusion” be a catalyst for changing the world with love, hope, optimism and possibility in both countries in a variety of ways!
We’ve come to Wednesday. Not an easy week any year, but this year even more difficult for many Christians who are reflecting both on the this week known as Holy Week, and the political climate of the world with its serpentine growth of fascism around the world – and even in their own country.
Some Christians are even asking ‘Where is God?’ and beginning to question the reality of Jesus, God, the Creator, Holy Presence, Holy One.
May this story (by an unknown author – which I’ve adapted), be a reminder that whether we experience it or not, God is “checking in.”
***************
A minister passing through the old church at noon, noticed a man coming down the aisle. The man hadn’t shaved in a while; his shirt was torn and shabby; his coat was worn and frayed. He knelt, bowed his head, then rose and silently walked away. In the days that followed, the minister noticed this man kneeling, just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap. The minister’s curiosity grew. He introduced himself and then asked “What are you doing here?”
The old man said he was a factory worker. As his lunch-time break was his prayer time for finding strength and power but was only half an hour. “I stay only a moment because the factory’s far away. As I kneel here talking to God, this is kinda what I say: “I just came by to tell you, God, how happy I have been since we found each other’s friendship. I don’t know much of how to pray, but I think about you every day. So, Jesus, this is Ben, just checking in today.”
The minister told Ben that he was welcome to pray there any time. As Ben hurried to the door, the minister knelt at the altar. His heart was warmed with love, and tears flowed down his cheeks, and the minister repeated old Ben’s prayer: “I just came by to tell you, God, how happy I have been since we found each other’s friendship. I don’t know much of how to pray, but I think about you every day. So, Jesus, this is just me, just checking in today.”
One day, the minister noticed that Ben hadn’t come to the church in several days. As more days passed and still no Ben, he began to worry. The minister asked about Ben at the factory and learned that he was ill and in hospital. He also learned that the week Ben was in hospital, ‘something’ had changed in the ward … Ben’s smiles and joy were contagious.
The head nurse couldn’t understand why Ben could be so happy, when no flowers, calls or cards came (not even one visitor)m until the minister appeared and voiced the nurse’s concern to Ben.
Looking surprised, Ben spoke up and with a winsome smile said “The nurse is wrong. She couldn’t know, He’s been here all the while and every day at noon, sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me: ‘I just came by to tell you, Ben, how happy I have been since we found this friendship. I think about you always, and I love to hear you pray. And so Ben, this is Jesus, just checking in today.’
On this Wednesday of Holy Week, may we believe that Jesus is “checking in” – giving strength and encouragement. May we all have a “Ben-Faith”: a faith that is simple and profound, a faith that is trusting and hope-filled, a faith that is filled with joy and gratitude for unconditional love and because ,each day, the Creator is “just checking in” – whether or not we believe.
EVIL, That word has been ascribed to people over the centuries: Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Vlad the Impaler, Pol Pot, Heinrich Himmler, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Ivan the Terrible, and more – including lately to DJT and his minions. And that same word has been ascribed to events: concentration camps; residential schools; torture; migration detention centres, even linked to social media posts.
Where is the hope in all of the continuing evil happening in Ukraine, San Salvador, Sudan, Palestine, Yemen, Somalia, Myanmar, Israel, Columbia, the United States?
Where is the hope in the injustice, suffering, poverty, ruthlessness, vengeful actions of people with power?
This week, known as Holy Week, Christians are reflecting on the “Where is the hope? Where is God” questions with deep intentionality.
Even in the face of terrible suffering, betrayals, there is a message of hope … through perseverance, truth, and faithfulness … that grace is greater than our brokenness …that God’s love remains the anchor even when faith wavers.
Like many, I struggle with that message in the face of such hate, cruelty, and yes, at moments, hopelessness.And yet, in the midst of it all, there are people carrying the torch of hope by “showing up, speaking out, speaking up, voting for democracy and against fascism” even at great personal risk and cost.So when my faith wavers, I pray that I will be of good courage when I fear, have faith when I falter, be able to walk through the shadow, have patience that good will overcome evil, love will prevail over hate and hope will reside deep within us all.
But, even though I choose to believe in goodness … try to speak honestly with love undergirding my words … try to listen to the heart in words that spit anger / hatred / evil and see beneath the anguish of poverty, hunger, fear, suffering of any kind … try to see the soul of the people in pain rather than their race, religion, sexuality, financial state, country of origin, and (lately this has been an increasingly difficult thing to do) their political beliefs, I am not a pollyanna. And some days, even being a person with a high theology of hope, is difficult.
And then I remember that a world without hope is the beginning of the end of a constructive society. So, we have to support one another, pray for one another, talk with one another, be there for one another. Today, Jennifer Vasquez Sura, wife of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, (a Maryland resident with U.S. protected status since 2019 was erroneously deported on March 15, 2025, despite a court prohibition on his deportation to El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center), quietly and courageously spoke about the need to “be there for one another.” In spite of her husband’s horrific situation, she has hope.
There must be hope. Even though the pain is real and the future is uncertain, we must hold on … to the promise of hope … to the possibility of hope …in spite of DJT … in spite of his minions … in spite of Putin … in spite of despots, fascists, wanna-be dictators …in spite of the fear.
Hope is action … in small ways, quiet ways, large ways, noisy ways, visible ways, unseen ways.Hope isn’t a passive act, or simply a reactive or frivolous act. Hope underlies our action and is our connection to continuity as a human species. May hope break through the evil that is happening in political decisions, television, tweets, conversations.SOON.
Today is a special Monday – it’s Monday in Holy Week. Many are feeling alone. Alone – because of the stresses of the world. Alone because of the political crises in the United States, the ongoing war in Ukraine, the threats on Canada, Panama, Greenland and many other places around the world Alone and fearful because of concern about their health, finances, jobs, relationships. Alone – with their thoughts. Alone – with their questions. Alone.
If anyone understands what ‘being alone’ means, especially this week, it surely must have been the man known as Jesus of Nazareth.
Many believe that they are living in a world under the shadow of war … a cloud of difficult days of climate change … loss of democracy … viruses that just won’t leave.
It’s all a frightening reality. The man Jesus, knew about frightening realities.
May this holy week be a time to reflect on what ‘being alone’ is for ourselves, for others and what it must have been like for the man known as Jesus.
May we know who we are. May we know Whose we are. And may we know the Love that surrounds us.
May we be blessed with an abiding sense of love – a Love that envelopes and casts out fear of the known and unknown.
May this day and every day in Holy Week, bring a blessing that touches life in ways we can’t even begin to ask or understand.
May we be blessed by the ability to breathe in Ruach, healing, sanctifying, renewing, be blessed by a precious peace that passes understanding and be blessed by the Love that sustained the man Jesus on this difficult day in Holy Week.
The flower pins, made for friends as a sign and symbol of Love, were made using pieces of white felt and small pearl-like additions in the middle of the flower.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Soulistry reflection on each day in Holy Week will be available on the Soulistry blog (https://soulistry.com/blog). You are welcome to share any Soulistry reflection and subscribe (https://soulistry.com). As reflections are added, they will come into your inbox (for free, personal information is not retained or sold). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weaving is not something I have done very often, but a weaving metaphor seems appropriate when political strands are divided … families are broken … countries are shattering from within … the world seems to be moving away from democratic principles … and people are not reflecting the ideals of peace and love which religious and philosophical leaders have taught and modelled for centuries.
People need a vision – a vision of hope for “where there is no vision, the people perish.”
The Weaving Prayer surfaced on this the eve of Holy Week (the final week of the Season of Lent in the Christian calendar which commemorates the final days of Jesus’ life, leading to his crucifixion and resurrection), known as Palm Sunday. The prayer is for them and for those who may not align with the Christian faith yet also need a vision of hope.
WEAVING PRAYER Weave, O Holy One, our differing threads of opinions, our global fear, our various political strands, our diverse liturgical expressions, our different ways of looking at the world into a sacred tapestry so that we will be empowered to hope and vision a world where Love, not fear, not ego, not pursuit of power, not idolization of money is the centre of decisions, thoughts, actions and conversations.
Great Weaver of all, when we find ourselves regretting the past, when we are uncertain of the present, when we are fearful of the future, help us. May this coming week (Holy Week) be one of hope, not panic. May it be one of gentle reflection, not listening to the fear mongers. And may it be a week of inner response, not reaction which clouds our vision of hope.
O Great Weaver, encourage us not to focus on the underside of the Tapestry where our knottedness, frayed ends, and tattered threads can be seen. but where we may envision the entire Tapestry of community: a tapestry of differing colours, customs, abilities, religions, languages, and ages, as we work together during these difficult days towards a vision of love, peace, respect and kindness. Amen. So be it. Amen.
You are welcome to share any Soulistry reflection and subscribe (https://soulistry.com/blog – it’s free and personal information is not retained or shared) so that the Reflections will come directly into your inbox.
For forty days and forty nights, every year, millions of people around the world are involved in sombre reflection and Lenten observance in something called the Season of Lent.
Last and this year, Lent has been a time of darkness in Ukraine, Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Palestine, Iraq, Yemen, Israel, Syria, Somalia, Libya, the Central African Republic, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Myanmar, Colombia, Mali – and who would have thought it, but Canada, Panama, Greenland, the United States too.
While it would be lovely to bypass the Season of Lent, it has its place in the circle of life. And not just for those who observe the Season of Lent as a religious focus. Lent can serve as a reminder that not everything in the world (or in people’s lives) is happy or cheery or going well.
There is darkness in situations that can personally envelope people in a shroud of negativity. An unknown author wrote “If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies,” and it echoes the cry of many whose value in society seems to be based on others ‘seeing’ them through the lens of financial status, ability, weight, skin colour, age, political belief, gender, sexuality, religion, etc., rather than ‘seeing them’ through the lens of the soul.
What a different world it would be if, instead of talking negatively, criticizing, nagging, finding fault, putting others down (not to mention ourselves), we talked about blessings, spoke about the goodness that ‘is’, and expressed gratitude more than we express frustration, criticism.
Perhaps if this were the focus, it might be easier to see people as souls, and not as unemployed, homeless, disabled, addicted, uneducated, a particular race or colour or religion or age or political belief or financial status etc. By adopting such a focus, it could be easier to relate to ‘the other’ as a person of worth, rather than ignore, pity, judge, bully, ridicule or hate them. It could be easier to see beauty – in others, in our world, within ourselves.
The Season of Lent invites us to metanoia – ‘turn around and focus on a change of heart.’ Some interpret that as ‘repentence.’ While I see merit in such interpretation, my way of encountering the Season of Lent is to focus on change … to change my heart – about other people – the future – myself – and ask “How can I let light in and truly see?”
Lent also has a reputation of being a time to ‘give-up’ (‘fast’-from) chocolate, desserts, social media, etc. I don’t do that. My focus is not on “giving up” but on “letting-in.”
While, I am being aware of the 40 days of Lent, I am not “giving up” something for Lent. And I am not focusing on repenting for things in the past because I try to do that when I realize the error of my ways and then move on, trusting that I am loved and forgiven.
In the Season of Lent, I am choosing to be on the lookout for souls in the lives of all people.
The Season of Lent is coming to a close. This Sunday begins what is known as Holy Week. Then comes Easter. While I know I will be grateful to see the end of the Season of Lent, I hope I continue to let each day be a gentle reminder of the Season of Lent: a time of “seeing-souls.”
Weather-wise,
it is overcast and gloomy.
Nature has arrived in full force
bringing devastation and tragedy.
Politically,
aftershocks of the global tariff war
have begun to arrive in full force
heaping grief, disillusionment, anger and unbelievable fear.
When the going-got-rough for our forbears:
… poverty, war, hurricanes, ill health,
they held on to inheritance of the generations before them
their ancestors
who provided a legacy
of endurance and strength and hope.
Sometimes, that legacy was all they had to hold onto.
These days, it may be all we have to hold onto.
As the mountains in the photo speak of strength
the trees speak of endurance
the roses speak of hope
… all in one photo
inside each of us
through the legacy entrusted us,
by those-who-have-gone-before
is strength, endurance, hope.
In difficult times,
let us “hold on.”
We will.
We must hold on.
Just as our ancestors have, in the past,
one step,
one moment,
at a time
we, too,
will “hold on!”
MAiD (Medical Assistancein Dying) became law in Canada in June, 2016 with a variety of responses. It has been welcomed, ignored, misunderstood, controversial, deemed to be anathema.
Many years ago, the request by a friend to sign as a witness on her MAiD document, made me pause and reflect, once again, on life, on death, on compassion, on personal decision-making about one’s own body and more.
I found myself going back decades ago and a conversation with my mother who wanted to have ‘the conversation’ with me. Having serious health issues, she wanted me to know her thoughts on dying and her wishes. We had ‘the conversation’ many times over the years.
The day in her doctor’s office when he told us that Mom’s kidneys had failed and she would have to go on dialysis immediately, Mom made it very clear that she would not do dialysis. The earlier conversations we’d had over the years were brought into reality.
Mom had often expressed a hope that the Canadian government would let people who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, make the decision as to the timing of when they would die for themselves in consultation with their doctor. Mom didn’t get her wish. MAiD was not legal at that time.
Before my husband Hans and I married, we talked about our “final wishes” and MAiD emerged in conversations. Hans was born in the Netherlands where they had their own equivalent to MAiD. He had researched it, was a supporter, and when his first cancer diagnosis was pronounced, we revisited our early discussions. With his second cancer diagnosis, he wanted to formalize things with his doctor and let him to know that if the prognosis were terminal with extreme pain and incapacitation, he wanted to be a candidate when the law was passed in Canada.
With his third cancer (terminal esophageal) a few years later, he knew that the extreme pain he dealt with each moment, would get worse as the cancer continued to spread. There was no quality of life for him at that time. He couldn’t swallow; he couldn’t speak above a whisper; he was exhausted and the pain was not being managed. The time had come. He reminded me that his wishes remained strong and steadfast and that if he couldn’t be granted his request in Canada, he wanted to go to the Netherlands where his request would be granted.
He reminded me of our experience with Shandy, our rescue-dog and beloved King Charles spaniel who had been in pain for too long. While the medications helped her somewhat, pain was her daily, ever-increasing experience. The morning we put her favourite cookie in her mouth and she didn’t know what to do with it, we were at a complete loss. The vet diagnosed it as ‘canine dementia,’ and told us that her kidneys had now failed. He could offer no further remedial help.
Shandy had no quality of life. She wasn’t eating. She was in emotional distress and constant physical pain. She was deaf and almost completely blind. The vet asked what we wanted to do. We asked ourselves “Could we love her enough to let her go?”
It was Friday. An appointment was set for the procedure to happen the next morning. “Monday.” I said. “How about we have her with us over the weekend and have the procedure done on Monday?” My wise husband let me talk and cry it out. He had had dogs all of his life and had walked this road with them in the past. Shandy was my first such experience. Hans and I talked and listened to one another in the silence as we held Shandy close to us. And then I heard myself say “Let love speak.”
By rescuing her from a terrible situation so very long ago, she had been given love and a life of freedom from the pain she had endured from a cruel owner. That was then.
Could we give her love and a life of freedom from pain now – even if that meant we would no longer have her with us?
As difficult as it was, we knew that it was our time to give Shandy the gift of unconditional love and let “love speak.”
I will never forget Shandy’s eyes as she sat on my lap on the drive to the veterinarian’s office the next morning. Usually, on the road and at the vet’s, Shandy was agitated. Not that time. This time, she was quiet. She was at peace.
Love spoke. Under the gentle hands of the vet, Shandy gently left us.
Supporting Hans’ decision for MAiD was personally difficult. But in remembering our experience with Shandy, I knew I had to “let love speak” and support my husband’s decision.
When I sit in a doctor’s office and am asked to sign MAiD papers for friends with whom I have spent a lot of time listening to and talking about ‘possibilities’, I remember my mother. I remember Shandy. I remember Hans. And each time, as I sign the papers, I know that the motivation is clear … “Let love speak.”
While I pray that each person whose MAiD paper I sign will leave planet earth gently, in their sleep, I am aware that death may not happen that way. If that doesn’t happen, and they choose to invoke MAiD, I will ‘let love speak’ and support them in any way I can.
And, should such a time come when I make such a decision for myself, I pray that others will ‘let love speak’ and support me in my decision.
May love always speak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ An aside – this reflection is not intended to cause debate, argument, distress or controversy about the MAiD program in general or in particular. It is a personal reflection only. *****************************
Welcome Spring … Vernal Equinox … to this part of the world. You arrived today! Hurray!
You’re technically here, Spring Equinox, so may we have … a little less cold … no more frost (or snow!) … more sunshine … blossoming flowers and shrubs and plants and trees … chirping birds …happy sounds of children at play outdoors … and compassion, commonsense, integrity, transparency and truth coming from governments and leaders. Please?
When the frost and snow and dreary rains and overcast skies depart, may new life S P R I N G to us all … new life in Nature … new life in aching bodies … new life in relationships … new life in political realms … new life in hope!
Oh how we need spring – spring in our weather – and spring in our souls.
Semocracy is on the edge of disappearing in many countries. Added to that is the rising homelessness; war; addiction; climate refugees; increasing hatred at work, school board meetings, local community gatherings; escalating polarization among family members, religious communities, cities / towns / villages – has led to experiencing grief at a profound, often inexplicable level.
It is a grief that is different than the grief experienced after personal loss (death of a loved one, limb, ability, relationship, home, job). It is a grief that rises when hearts are physically heavy from the hurt and pain due to witnessing hate, racism, injustice and discrimination in the local community, on the news, in person, in social media. It is a grief when living with the reality of war on the doorstep. In “The Wild Edge of Sorrow,” Frances Weller writes that “it takes everything we have to deny the sorrows of the world.”
If you’re wondering why you’re feeling more tired … your body is hurting … you’re experiencing confusion, unusual anger, impatience, loss of sleep (or inability to sleep), headaches, resentment at life’s ‘little things’ etc., it could be the consequence of collective sorrow – corporate grief.
What to do about it? … we can “turn off” for a bit of a break and retreat from social media – not enter conversations that cause distress … we can become a supporter, ally, listener, financial contributor of people/causes that touch our soul … we can talk to someone we trust, as simply ‘naming’ the grief/feelings can release some of their grip on us.
And if/when mental health concerns surface, we can … speak with a health care professional … focus on balancing the sorrows of the world with moments of gratitude, experiences with nature, gentle moments with ourself while enjoying a craft / art / music / hobby / reading.
Focusing on all that is happening in the world can be a double-edged emotional sword. It can … trigger past grief … cause fear and sense of hopelessness and lead to deep emotional trauma.
It can … promote into action. Action via peaceful protest … contacting political leaders … becoming involved in the political process … learning about Restorative Justice programs in the community … speaking out by writing letters to the editor in local newspapers, being witnesses to the truth … and more.
Corporate grief is real.
While sorrows of the world have always existed, today’s social media world and the exploding world of AI bring those sorrows in our living rooms, on our phones, even on our watches. It’s up to us as to how we handle the sense of corporate grief that is palpable, visible, here-and-now.
May we be honest with ourselves – be part of the witness and do what we can to raise consciousness. May we bring truth to the lies and work towards change within ourselves – not so we stop being compassionate beings, but so we can be / continue to be concerned about, care for, advocate on behalf of those people and situations without being crippled by the communal grief.
We must take care of ourselves and acknowledge the corporate grief we feel. It is real. Very real.
A friend posted this a while ago, and with her permission, I share it here. She wrote: “To tell me I’m not family because my political views are different from yours, is beyond sad. To wish me dead, simply because I have gay friends and support gay rights, because I believe there should be gun reform, and because I had the audacity to be supportive of those who chose to walk out of class for 17 minutes is beyond sad. My heart breaks for you. I love you. But you should know, I will always love you … but from a distance.”
I was deeply saddened that she found herself in such a situation and saddened that the political situation in her country has come to this morass where families are divided.
I am grateful she supports her gay friends; grateful she believes in gun reform; grateful she continues to love those who have expressed hatred for her; grateful she realizes that such love must be from a distance for self-preservation; and grateful that she is taking care of herself and walking the path which will lead her to inner peace.
What about us? What decisions do we make about who we let into our lives – thoughts – time – conversations – emails – social media? Are we taking care of ourselves and walking the path of inner peace?
Why do we let the behaviour of others complicate our lives … cause hurt … alienate us from friends / family members … even destroy our inner peace.
Why? And when we do let the behaviour of others do those things, what consequences come our way?
Surely when we let the negative behaviour of others enter our thoughts, our conversations, even our sleep to the point that we become unable to think about much else or get a full night’s sleep, our inner peace is destroyed.
If we want inner peace, we must make decisions about who we let into our thoughts, our conversations, emails, blogs, social media. We must not let the behaviour of others destroy our inner peace.
