A phone call and a question “Would you like to go for a car ride this afternoon?” began a day that unfolded in ways I hadn’t expected.
I’d been going on afternoon car rides with a wonderful man for several years. We enjoyed one another’s company, laughed a lot, had great conversations and loved exploring parts of this island neither of us had seen before. That day was no different. Or was it?
He picked me up and off we went with Shandy, his delightful King Charles spaniel – meandering along country roads, beside the ocean, exploring, talking, laughing. The sun was shining and the drive was leisurely and delightful. About an hour later, he pulled into a parking space beside the ocean (a place we’d often frequented on our afternoon drives), and we went for a walk along the ocean shore. At the end of our walk, we sat on a bench overlooking the water’s edge and before I knew it, he had asked me to marry him. Again. And added “It’s okay if you’re not ready. I’ll be here when you are. I’m hoping you’re ready now.”
He’d asked the question several times before, but each time I declined. This time was different. He was a man who was genuine, honest, sincere, could be trusted, was patient (he’d waited years for me to say ‘yes’) and loved me deeply. I knew that I loved this man in so many ways and when he said that he had phoned my son for his blessing, he endeared himself to me even more. My son had a deep respect for this man, was so happy for us both, and wholeheartedly gave his blessing. I was so happy and easily said “yes.” When would we get married? There was so much to do – perhaps in a year’s time?
“Soon, I hope. I’m not getting any younger” he said. “Sooner than later.” Within six (!) weeks, we had put our respective homes on the market … sold both homes … packed up the two homes (each downsizing as much as we could in such a short time) and found our ‘together’ home in a new community … created handmade wedding invitations … made the painful and difficult decision to love Shandy enough to let her go and be at peace from the pain that wracked her body and canine dementia confusion that imprisoned her mind … chosen wedding rings … planned the wedding … got married … moved into our new ‘together home’ … began to unpack the boxes … dealt with the kitchen cabinets that were literally coming off the walls and other unexpected renovation projects that needed immediate attention and more. It was a stressful time, but amazingly, it all seemed to bring us even closer together.
Little did I know how much my life would change when I answered a phone call and went on a car ride with Hans Van Der Werff.
Remembering how it all began … with a simple phone call and invitation to go for a car ride … thank you Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the phone so Hans could phone and invite me for a drive that day. And, … thank you, Karl Benz, for inventing the gasoline-powered car in 1871, so we could go for that lovely drive on that wonderful day in 2019.
Each time I remember that day, there’s a smile on my face and deep gratitude in my heart. Too many friends have recently been diagnosed with a form of dementia and are unable to remember very much. But that special, joy-filled day is firm in my mind.
That gentle giant of a man conquered cancer once – twice – but not the third one. Sad memory, but even so, I am ‘remembering’ much more with Hans — so many happy memories and am grateful for that gift of remembering.
Whether we refer to ourselves as Monarchists or not, now is not the time to debate. Queen Elizabeth has died today. She reigned for seventy (70) years.
She was human – very human and she made mistakes. And on this day, as her family is mourning, her country is grieving, and many around the world are questioning the appropriateness of a Monarch in general, the horrific effects of colonialism and the accession to the throne of the successor in particular, the time will come for debate about all of that and more, but with respect, not today.
Today, I am remembering a woman who faithfully served her country and the Commonwealth to the best of her ability. I give thanks for her lifelong service and ask God’s blessing on her.
Every day we wake up, is a day to say “Welcome” to whichever day it is: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Rain or shine, hot or cold – while some days may prove to be difficult – the “Welcome, Days of the Week” cyber floral mosaic series was created in the hopes that the flowers will put a smile on your face, remind you of happy, peace-filled, times and brighten your day, just a bit.
If you are feeling ‘blah’ or ‘down’ or ‘just not yourself’ for whatever reason (global politics, personal health/finances/relationships), concerns about family), may you welcome the hope this cyber floral bouquet offers: the flowers in the photo will bloom again. And so will you … some way … some how … some day.
Each day is a new day and every day offers possibility, promise, gift. From me to you – a floral “Welcome” to each day of the week.
Feel free to return to this floral ‘Welcome, Day of the Week’ whenever you’d like a little “floral pick-me-up” on a particular day, and share this (or any “Soulistry – Artistry of the Soul” reflection) with others.
In spite of the rain, rain and more rain, the flowers in many parts of the world are beginning to ‘rise and shine’. Happy Monday morning!With so much yuck happening in the world, I thought I’d post a floral “welcome” / “happy” each day this week. So, “welcome Tuesday!” It’s Wednesday … a day to slow down a bit, observe Mother Nature around us, and “smell the roses.” Welcome Wednesday!Continuing on in the weekly floral “Hello / Welcome Day” series which began here on Monday and will continue until this Sunday. It’s so easy to grumble when we wake up, worry as we hear the latest news, get stressed when the weather descends in an unwelcome manner, find irritation in the actions/words of another, that we overlook the gift of another day to live, breathe, serve, think, move, reflect, contribute, play, work, simply “be.” Welcome Thursday – delighted you’re here!Sometimes we think “I don’t think Friday is ever going to get here” and then, voila – it arrives. So, welcome Friday. You’re finally here!The weekend has begun! The tiny bud on the strawberry plant encourages us to think about what may be ‘budding’ in our life that we can focus on this weekend. Welcome Saturday – ‘bud’ away!
“Slava Ukraini” – two words which, a month ago, were not known around the world. Since war erupted in Ukraine in February, those words have become known – a cry around the world … by people protesting in public against the war … by sharing images of what is happening in Ukraine on social media … by speeches of international politicians … by ordinary people in daily conversations .. by artists including the words in their paintings, mixed media, tangling, sculpture etc.
What do the words “Slava Ukraini” mean? What is their history? It goes back to the late 1880’s, with Ukrainian writer Taras Shevchenko’s poem “To Osnovyanenko”:
“Our thought, our song Will not die, will not perish… Oh there, people, is our glory, Glory of Ukraine!“ (Slava Ukraini = Glory to Ukraine)
During the Ukrainian War of Independence (1917-1921), the phrase “Slava Ukraini!” (Glory to Ukraine!) became part of the vocabulary of Ukrainian nationalists and when Ukraine declared independence in 1991, “Slava Ukraini” became a common patriotic slogan. In 1995, President Clinto used the phrase in his speech in Kyiv, and during the 2014 Ukrainian revolution, the phrase became a symbol of democracy and of resistance against Russian President Putin. Two months ago,“Slava Ukraini” signs began to appear around the world to show global solidarity with the people of Ukraine.
Being in ‘solidarity’ with Ukraine expresses support – financially, politically, prayerfully, in silence and in song, in creative images and in poetic form. Expressing support of Ukraine and its people is expressing support of democratic values in Ukraine and throughout the world.
May the words “Slava Ukraini” echo throughout the world, may peace come to Ukraine, and may democracy not just survive but thrive throughout the world. “Slava Ukraini!”
Ukraine. Say the name of the country and a variety of images flood our brain … images of fear, protest and terrifying disastrous situations of people running for their lives … crying children with addresses/phone numbers written on their hands or piece of paper as they cross the border out of Ukraine on their own … buildings in ruin … poignant farewells at train stations … soldiers fighting in snow and cold without food or sufficient military equipment … exhausted medical / first responder personnel remaining with patients as missiles attack hospitals, ambulances, firetrucks/stations … ordinary people defending their cities at great risk to themselves … hungry people … desperate people of all ages and situations. Ukraine is at war.
But then come images of hope and healing and support from within Ukraine and around the world … nations place sanctions on the oppressor, Russia … musicians, actors, dancers play their instruments, sing their songs, dance their dances, act their plays in the middle of Ukraine’s streets and give hope … artists on social media create art using Ukraine’s national flower (sunflower), the national colours of the country (blue/yellow), adding touches of green in solidarity with courageous Russian dissidents who, risking arrest (and worse), are protesting the war by tying green ribbons in public places as a sign of resistance because they refuse to be silenced about their government’s invasion and war on Ukraine. Not all Russians are supportive of Russia’s war on Ukraine.
Around the world, people are … contributing to fund raisers and responsible charitable organizations who quickly are getting the money to Ukraine and helping those in need … travelling to Europe to bring medical supplies, fight in the war as soldiers / medical personnel / first responders / cooks / delivery persons / chaplains … making Air B&B bookings in Ukraine, even though they have no intention of using the bookings … purchasing from Ukrainian artists and craftspersons on Etsy, knowing they won’t receive the item (unless it’s downloadable).
Ukrainian customs and symbols are becoming known throughout the world as people of all ages … learn to cook Ukrainian (borscht, varenyky, piroshki, holubtsi, deruni, nalesniki, syrniki) … make/wear the lovely Ukrainian embroidered shirts (vyshyvankas) … discover the colourful Petrykivka (Ukrainian folk / ornamental) painting
A number of years ago, our little art group learned how to make Pysanky (Ukrainian Eggs). I enjoyed the process then and, wanting to ‘connect’ with the people of Ukraine and the Russian dissenters now, began to create paper Pysanky-inspired eggs using the Ukrainian national colours of yellow and blue with a touch of the green for the Russian dissenters.
As the piece began to emerge, it not only became a ‘connection’ with those people, but ‘Tangible Prayer’ for me.
I’ve always thought of the arts as a way of expressing a sense of spirituality, but until working on this piece, never quite realized the the depth of that connection. Each dance, each song, each sculpture, each meal, each arrangement of flowers in the garden or in a vase, each structural design, each craft, each work of art can raise spirits, give hope, put a smile on a face, joy in the heart of others, whether or not the artist believes in prayer or understands themselves to be at prayer when they create. Creativity = Spirituality = Soulistry (SOUL artISTRY)
When I create in the garden, kitchen, Studio, wherever, I try to create as a prayerful act but don’t always make that connection between creativity and spirituality.
Working on this piece helped me remember that when I create (as a conscious act of prayer or not), whatever it is I create, I am connected with others (e.g. the recipient, Mother Nature).
In so doing, I am praying … not always conscious … not always intentional .. but clearly tangible. “Tangible Prayer.”
Watching the Paralympic Games today, I was overwhelmed by the emotions it unleashed.
While I was rooting for all of the incredible athletes who have been training for years and waiting for their moment and of course, those athletes from my own country of Canada, I was struck by a deep inexplicable emotion as I watched the Ukrainian athletes compete with such courage, boldness, determination and athleticism.
How they managed to compete while their country was at war, I will never know. Many of their loved ones were huddled in underground shelters; other loved ones were dealing with famine, explosions and trying to escape the horrors.
In spite of the worry and fear for their loved ones and country, the Ukrainian athletes not only competed, but were outstanding in their categories.
Questions poured forth as the Paralympics came to a close: are these men and women safe? Will they be? In the closing ceremonies, reference was made to these questions and subtle messages were given to assure the world that the Ukrainian athletes would be safe as they left the Paralympics and China.
This night and in the coming days, along with praying for the people of Ukraine, my prayers will be focused on each of the Ukrainian Paralympic athletes, their coaches and team members from Ukraine.
As their bodies recover from the incredible physical strain of the Paralympic competitions; as their minds and spirits deal with the horrors of what they, their loved ones, and country face; and as they try to absorb the incredible mixture of emotions they have been and are now experiencing, may each of them be safe.
Some things are easy to learn. Some things are not so easy to learn. Some days the learning is huge. Some days it is subtle.
Some days the learning is about … me – what I believe … who I am … things I need to work on.
Some days the learning is about … others – who are hurtful or loving or kind or mean-spirited or generous or resentful or kind or angry or how gracious and compassionate people can be.
Some days the learning involves … a new approach to technology, art, gardening, writing, music or even a new checkerboard move. Some days the learning is about politics, history, literature, religion, cultures, language. And some days it’s a combination of things.
Each night before I go to bed, I ask myself “What have you learned today?” Usually, the answer comes swiftly followed by a silent prayer of gratitude for the lesson.
But when a difficult moment happened and I experienced betrayal … a promise had been made … then broken … and then lied about … and it hurt … what did I learn from that?
The more I thought about it … the more I thought about it. And I found it difficult to forget … difficult to let it go … difficult to move on.
When I went to bed that night, I asked myself “What have you learned today?” But there was no answer and I didn’t sleep well that night. I got up in the wee hours, made a cup of crystal tea and in the stillness and asked the question again: “What have you learned today?”
The answer came quickly. “Forgiveness. You could have learned about the importance of forgiveness.” I could have but questions began to surface … was the individual apologetic? … was betrayal acknowledged? … did I want to forgive?
I knew the honest answer was the same each time: “No.” and I could feel the hurt rising again. I knew I needed to review the questions again, so I began with the last question: “Do I want to forgive?”
*Want* to forgive?
When I experience betrayal or someone gossiping, making assumptions about my character; or experience cruelty, injustice, downright meanness, the word ‘forgiveness’ enters my thoughts and I try to move in that direction. But sometimes, it takes me a long time. A. Very. Long. Time.
I understand forgiveness is integral in spiritual and personal growth, so I work on it. Not for the sake of the other, but for my sake. Maybe that’s why forgiveness is called soul-work.
It’s ‘work,’ alright. Hard work.
I wish forgiveness came easily. I wish I didn’t have to experience some lessons over and over and over again. And yet because I know that the end result can be personal growth, I persist.
Two situations this past year were challenging. One situation was two-part. The first part only took a few days for me to forgive. But then it happened again – the second part of the same situation with the same person who, once again, apologized and promised to not let it happen again. I found myself back in the lesson-mode again, trying to determine the advisability of trusting that person again and of trying to forgive. It took me a little longer but gratefully, I was able to forgive that person again.
But the second situation, took a long time to move into a state of forgiveness. A full year. 🙁
Eventually, I was able to forgive – not for the sake of the other, but for the sake of my own soul.
It’s true … learning about and then entering into a posture of forgiveness is soul work. And, it’s worth it.
Thank you to the international team of Romi Borax Marks (USA), Annie Taylor (UK) and Anica Gabrovec aka Zen Linea (Croatia) for a gentle time of art, remembering and praying today in solidarity with the people of Ukraine.
I had some things I wanted to include … the national flower of Ukraine (sunflower), but couldn’t find a step-out that worked for me so ‘did something” in yellow and added blue around the edge as Blue and Yellow are the colours of Ukraine’s national flag) … the dove in white – angel for the souls already lost on both sides: Ukrainians and Russians (most of the Russian troops are very young conscripts, unaware they would be invading Ukraine). … and I wanted to do it all on a round sphere to represent the solidarity around the world for the people of Ukraine.
This night, as I head off to bed, I set aside a gnawing sense of the presence of evil in the world and choose to focus on possibility, love and hope.
And I offer thanksgiving for the President and First Lady of Ukraine and Cabinet members, the courageous people of Ukraine, the Russian dissenters, and the growing gathered crowds of people around the world in support of the people of Ukraine.
The sunflower is the national flower of Ukraine. No matter how small, or how little evidence of light there is, sunflowers seek out the light (the sun) hold their heads high are a symbol of loyalty to something that is brighter and bigger than themselves.
Similarly, Ukrainians seek out the Light hold their head hight and symbolize loyalty to something that is brighter and bigger than themselves … their country.
A few days ago, a Ukrainian woman expressed her defiance and outrage at a Russian soldier who was blocking a street in a residential area of Henichesk, a port city in southern Ukraine. She angrily shouted at the Russian soldier, demanding to know why he was there. Then she told him to put sunflower seed in his pocket so that flowers would grow when he dies on Ukraine’s soil.
In spite of the icy, frigid, terrifying situation they are in, like these sunflowers, Ukrainian heads are up looking for the Light hopeful united loyal to their country.
Keep holding your heads high, Ukrainians. Keep following the Light!
