The little engine was at the bottom of a mountain, looked ahead and was about to turn around because the mountain seemed to be too difficult to climb.
But then came the thought “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can” and the little train slowly began its climb up the mountain to the summit.
Like the engine in “The Little Engine That Could” story (authored by Watty Piper, a pen name of Arnold Munk) my former cat, Serenity and Olympic athlete Simone Biles can serve as gentle reminders of the power and importance of the “I think I can” philosophy.
It’s not easy to take one step, then another, and then another and begin to climb the mountains in our life … overcome the obstacles (of fear, lack of self-confidence, negativity) along the way … think possibilities (“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.”) … and get to the top where peace, solace, healing, joy can be found.
It’s not easy to take one step, then another and then another and begin to climb the mountains in our global lives … overcome the obstacles of (lies, greed, political corruption) along the way … think possibilities (“I think we can. I think we can. I think we can.”) … and get to the top where justice, equality, hope, peace can be found.
Serenity wanted to climb her Scratching Tree but because of recent surgery, wasn’t quite certain how to do that. Slowly but surely, she made her way up her mountain. She began the climb … overcame her obstacles and got to the top where a view of the garden, personal satisfaction and peace were found.
World-renowned gymnast Simone Biles wanted to achieve ‘Olympic gold’ at the Olympics in Japan. She had trained. She was physically ready. She approached the mat but when she miscalculated – again she knew she wasn’t emotionally ready. She left the arena and returned with a decision and slowly but surely, she began the climb up her mountain of emotional obstacles … and will get to the top where peace will be found.
May the images of The Little Engine That Could, Serenity the cat and the courage of gymnast Simone Biles envelope us in “I think I can” thinking … for ourselves … for our countries … for one another.
May we not be daunted by the mountains ahead of us, personally or politically.
May we not allow obstacles to block us.
May we get to the top of our seemingly impossible-to-climb mountains look back in reflection and acknowledge “we did it!”
I remember the day before the pandemic. She was in her mid-80’s, was wearing beige slacks, beige top and black jacket with a black purse and black shoes and looking at summer tops and slacks.
The clothing she was looking at? Black sweater, beige slacks, black top. I could “see” her in lovely pastels, but all she was looking at was … more of the same black and beige.
I quietly asked “What do you think of this colour?” Her reply – “So lovely for you, dear. But not for me.” She had given me an opening – and so I gently asked – “Why not?” Her reply – “I’m old.”
I picked up two pastel tops – a lilac and a peach and asked her to come with me to the mirror. I think she thought I was going to try them on and wanted her opinion. She was half right. I wanted her opinion. Not for me – but for her.
I tucked the tops under her chin and she smiled. Then she looked at me and said “I’m too old.” And then she looked again. And smiled.
We chatted a bit. She confided that she hated wearing black and beige, but those were what old people wore and she didn’t want to have people think she was trying to be young again. And then, after she held up the coloured shirts a few more times and could see they brought colour to her face (maybe it was my imagination, but she stood straighter when they were under her chin), before I knew it, she had purchased them both.
As she went out the store with a lovely, big smile on her face wearing the peach-coloured shirt, she said “A difference – you have made a difference.”
Nawww, it wasn’t me – it was her. In the moment she decided to wear colour, she decided to enjoy her life.
Those colours really suited her. And yes, I’m *sure* she was walking straighter as she walked out of the store.
Limits. What limitations do we put on ourselves that stop us from living life to the fullest? Are we self-critical … of our self? … our art? … our … ? Do we compare ourselves to another? Have we said or thought “I can’t do this because …”? I know I have.
And each time I catch myself placing limits on myself, I think of this wonderful octogenarian and imagine her, living her life in full colour. Literally. 🙂
Limitations. Those others put on us. Those we put on others. Those we put on ourselves.
When I do, I try to work with it and not let it capture my mind, my soul, my body because … when it isn’t dealt with … when I’m not willing to let it go .. when it escalates – relationships suffer, people can be physically and emotionally abused, political unrest can happen, wars can erupt.
What is “it”? “It” is anger. Anger can be a brief feeling. Anger can stay for weeks or months or years. Anger can be generational.
Anger can arise for a variety of reasons — systemic racism … betrayal … corruption … abuse … injustice … illness … death … financial instability … and so much more. We have all experienced the emotion of anger at some time and will experience it in the future. Anger is a natural response to pain of some kind (be that physical or emotional). It’s a human response as this little tale recounts.
“You have no right teaching others,” shouted the very angry young man to the Buddha. “You are nothing but a fake!”
The followers of Buddha tried to overpower the man, but the Buddha stopped them and said, “It is not always necessary to counter anger by anger” Then he turned to the young man and with a smile, asked, “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The young man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not feel insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”
When the Buddha continued, “No matter what the situation is, if you fully surrender yourself to anger, the anger will always take your life away from you,” the young man understood.
The issue isn’t the anger. The issue is what we do with it. Do we experience it? Do we bury it? Do we let it fester? Grow? Do we let it motivate us into action that would bring about positive change?
Over the years, I have learned to ‘name’ my anger – admit its presence. I’ve not ignored it. I’ve worked at it. And ‘worked’ is descriptive, because I find that dealing with anger is ‘work’ because it takes focus … energy … intention … time.
I choose to work at dealing with anger when I feel angry so that it doesn’t possess me – so that it doesn’t take over my life – so that it doesn’t lead me to decisions I otherwise would not have made – and so that I can be motivated into action that would bring about positive change in some small way.
Simply acknowledging the anger in and of itself is a step in the road when it no longer has its lethal grasp. In the acknowledgement that we are not ‘fully surrendering’ to the anger, anger can dissipate. As the Buddha is reputed to have “No matter what the situation is, if you fully surrender yourself to anger, the anger will always take your life away from you.”
Ultimately, fully surrendering to anger robs us of life. Fully surrendering to anger can bring results of bitterness, dysfunctional relationships, and/or illness, and possibly cause us to make decisions that will be anything but positive or healing. It’s much easier to react, rather than respond. But when we “fully surrender” to anger, it becomes something we can pass anger on to others … a spouse/partner, a child, future generations.
As for the situation that raised this post and my immediate sense of anger – it was the recent discoveries of the remains/unmarked of over a thousand indigenous children – students at Roman Catholic Residential Schools in Canada. Politicians are involved. Canadians are signing petitions. Requests have been made to the Pope to offer a formal apology, as the leaders of both the Anglican Church and United Church (who also ran residential schools in Canada) have done. To date, the Pope has not responded. And if the discovery of these unmarked graves wasn’t painful enough, there is a growing sense that the discovery is only the tip of the iceberg. Anger has already resulted in the burning of some churches. If (when) more graves are discovered, what then? More anger. And then what? And then what? And then what?
We cannot “fully surrender” to anger – let it overtake our life so that we cannot be part of the solution of reconciliation, be that with another or within ourself.
When anger envelopes me in its snare, I try to remember to ask myself if I am willing to work with it. Sometimes I am. Sometimes I am not. Yet.
Then I ask myself if I am willing … to be willing. Somehow, that seems to open a door. I hope I will always be willing-to-be-willing to open a door to possibility – to healing – to learning – to personal growth.
How can I not be fascinated by them? Their grace, beauty, agility … and oh yes, their symbolism. Reflection emerges.
For the indigenous peoples of the Pacific Coast, the hummingbird is a messenger of joy. But not just joy – also intelligence, beauty, devotion, love, protectors and defender of their territory.
Yesterday and today, this particular hummingbird has returned over and over again. In each visit, a cloud of sadness, began to lift. And through that cloud of sadness on this, the fifth anniversary of my husband’s unexpected death, love shines.
Long before I knew him, our paths began to intersect. Some call it “fate”. Some call it “co-incidence.” We called it “Divine Love.”
In Montreal, he and his family lived about three blocks away from my family. In North Vancouver, he and his family lived a few miles away from me. On the Sunshine Coast, his family had a summer cottage in the community I worked. We never met in any of those places. We met by happenstance at a Christmas Fair, three years after his wife died. It wasn’t “love” or “sparks.” It was simply a meeting of two people who shared common interests and who began a friendship.
And then ‘love’ entered the scene … not between the two of us (just yet) … but through a rescue dog – Hans’ little King Charles spaniel named Shandy. As the years passed and the friendship Hans and I shared grew, ‘love’ entered the spaces that had been empty for far-too-long. He asked me to marry him. I said “No, not yet.” He asked again and again and again and each time my response was “not yet.”
Then one day, he phoned and invited me for an afternoon drive. We often did that so when he came by with the four-legged canine blessing called Shandy, off we went for a drive to Qualicum Beach – one of our favourite drives on Vancouver Island. On a bench overlooking the ocean, he asked me to marry him. This time, I knew that the obstacles we had talked about were nothing if we faced them together. I realized that his love for me was so deep, as was mine for him, that spending the rest of our lives together, no matter how long or how short, was Divine Love.
Six weeks later, he had sold his rancher, I had sold mine, a new home was purchased that we both loved, and we married, October 17, 2009. Even though it was a day marked by ‘clouds’ for a number of reasons, we knew that we would face any and all clouds together. And, we did.
We were the love of each other’s lives. Laughter filled our home. Deep conversations filled our home. Joy and peace and hope filled our home. Divine Love filled our home. While he unexpectedly took leave of this Planet Earth on June 26th, 2016, he has never taken leave of my heart. In that lovely voice of his, perhaps he is calligraphically-rendering the six words of his reality … “It is well with my soul.”
Through a cloud of sadness, love still shines. Thank you little hummingbird. I am grateful.
The next time you see a hummingbird, may it bring comfort your way and in some way, be a sign of Divine Love in your life.
May you continue to rest in peace, my beloved Hans. Rest in peace.
There are times when we experience wilderness moments
… when temptation calls us to sow seeds of negativity in our social media posts, blogs, conversations,emails, thoughts
… when wild beasts of anger, fear, disillusionment, bitterness, resentment are ravenous and eat at the core of our personal peace and corporate unity.
Those wild beasts and temptations can be deadly.
How can we resist the temptations
remain steadfast in the face of the wild beasts
raise one another up, instead of tear one another down
be encouraged when we falter
have willing hearts to forgive one another and ourselves
be mindful about what is good in this world
repent of those moments when we allow temptations and wild beasts to detract us
Those times when we feel unloveable,
may we feel unconditional love.
Those times when our bodies hurt,
may we know a gentle, healing touch.
Those times when our minds are confused and stressed,
may we be blessed with a sense of peace that passes all understanding.
Those times when the storms of life have battered us,
may we experience a soft embrace.
Those times when all we seem to hear is a cacophony of cruelty, gossip and negativity,
may we know a comforting, encouraging and affirming ‘still, small Voice’ within.
When life seems bleak, the future seems uncertain and/or frightening,
may we discover a glimmer of a spirit of hope.
This past week, I completed the training, added three new initials after my name (CZT) and am now a Certified Zentangle® Teacher. It was four exhausting days of tangling … and fun! If you’re not familiar with the term Zentangle®, once you Google it, you’ll discover a method of teaching for an easy-to-do art form. And I do mean “easy”! If you can write your name, you can tangle <g>. It is fun to do and you as you put one line on a piece of paper (or ’tile’), you’ll quickly discover and engage with yourself as ‘artist’ for each of us is creative in some way … and has an ‘artist-within’.
You don’t need a lot of “tools” to zentangle®. A pen (permanent ink), a piece of paper/your Journal and the side of your finger (or something called a tortillon) to help “shade” your piece is all you need. You don’t need to know how to draw or sketch or paint. Really! It’s simply putting down one line at a time. One stroke leads to another stroke and another stroke and before you know it, you’ve completed a ‘tangle’ and … art emerges.
If you’ve connected with Soulistry in some way over the years, read/subscribed to the blog, taken a workshop or retreat, read the Soulistry book, you’ll know that the Soulistry philosophy is to encourage a connection between spirituality, creativity and life, acknowledging or beginning to acknowledge that each of us, in some way, is an artist.
Back to the certification training … one of the projects was to encounter the tangle ‘Mooka’ (part of the fun of zentangling is learning a new vocabulary) in a new and fun way. When I realized what we were about to do, I gave the piece a name: Mooka Critter. At the very beginning, I had difficulty with the Mooka tangle in its placement. I’d drawn it before – it’s simple and easy to do – but for some reason, placing it the way we were invited to place it, became a problem for my brain and eye/hand co-ordination issues. Mooka Critter didn’t look right – at all. I called it quits and went to bed. When I woke in the morning, I was curious and wondered: “What would Mooka Critter look like if I added another tangle (called Tipple), a wee snail (called Bijou) and put a simple one-line-frame around the whole thing?”
So, I added them all. I looked at it … close up … far away. It still didn’t look right to me. I remembered the Zentangle® theory of “no mistakes” and set it aside. Again. To be truthful, I actually turned it over so I wouldn’t be tempted to throw it in the recycling bin. <sigh> When the day ended, I went to bed. The next morning, I looked at Mooka Critter. And I smiled.
She was unique – not like the way others had created theirs, but she was unique – and I had created her.
Within a second or two, a life lesson surfaced. Before making a decision – fully “engage” … consider possibilities … give the decision “time” to emerge. It took days before I looked at the tile and made the decision that not only was I pleased with it – but I was pleased with myself for not jumping to conclusions and throwing it into the recycling bin.
When looking at life and its decisions, I’ve learned that it’s helpful to ‘engage’ the decision.
In the case of Mooka Critter … fully engage her, or any Zentangle® tile … before making a judgement about its completion or quality.
In the case of daily living, fully engage in the situation before jumping to any conclusions and making a decision.
That word “engage” became important to me because of Mooka Critter and is partly why ‘engage’ is part of the the title of a new Facebook group under the SOULISTRY umbrella, about tangling. I’ve called the new group ZENGAGE … which is a neologism of two words: ZEN + ENGAGE (not surprising as SOULISTRY is a neologism (two words put together to form a new word: SOUL + artISTRY).
You’re welcome to come and explore the ZENGAGE group (www.facebook.com/groups/zengage). Its purpose is to share photos of, and information about, zentangle® classes (especially if there’s no cost to participate) … support CZT’s who offer classes so that we can all benefit from them … encourage newcomers to begin zentangling … further the conversation about the Soulistry (www.facebook.com/groups/soulistry) connection between spirituality, creativity and life … and to play.
If you’d like to join either of the aforementioned groups, there are security questions to be answered. Just mention that you learned about the group through the “Soulistry-Artistry of the Soul” blog and you’ll be subscribed.
And as for Mooka Critter – well, she may not be ‘pretty’ … she may not be a great example of zentangling … she may not be any of those, but to me, she’s unique.
And, as a reminder of the lesson she taught me, she has found a permanent place in a frame on my wall in my home.
It’s been well over a year since most of us have travelled beyond our own town, city let alone our own Country.
I’ve missed travelling. I’ve missed seeing places I’d only read about in books. I’ve missed connecting with family and friends. I’ve missed exploring beyond where I live. I’ve missed the anticipation, the excitement, the adventure, the learning. I’ve missed the making of memories of it all.
My last ‘trip’ was to the Netherlands to visit family of my late husband, Hans van der Werff. It was a bittersweet trip where my camera captured images of windmills, tulips, cobblestone streets, picturesque villages, family birthday parties, historic buildings and oh, so much more. And where my heart captured images of previous visits, grief, beauty and healing.
This past year, travel has continued – in spite of the pandemic. Travel happened in front of my computer on ZOOM. I’ve zoom-travelled to India and Japan, Croatia and China, Russia and Australia, Singapore as well as many provinces in Canada and states in the United States. I’ve zoom-travelled with one or two others and zoom-travelled with many others – taking classes, visiting museums, experiencing European cities. I’ve zoom-travelled to listen to speeches, to exercise, to take classes and workshops. It’s been quite the year of travel!
And the cost? Time. That’s it. Just ‘time’.
I’ve not filled the gas tank – haven’t stood in lines at the airport – didn’t need to go through security – wasn’t frustrated when travel arrangements were changed.
I slept in my own bed – ate my own food – got up from the computer and made a hot cuppa. I’ve learned a lot. Seen a lot. Made new friends. Developed new interests. Uncovered hidden dreams of exploring the streets of Paris and Venice becoming real. I’ve become familiar with different time zones – discovered accents I didn’t know existed – gone on a safari and oh, so much more.
Medieval scholar, writer and traveler (travelled more than any other explorer in pre-modern history), Ibn Battuta wrote: “Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then it turns you into a storyteller.”
When I have travelled to and worked in Sri Lanka, the Philippines, Uganda, as well as various parts of Canada, the United States and Europe, I was left ‘speechless” and the memories of the experiences of those trips continue to bring blessings my way. Stories – oh the stories I could tell. 🙂
The same thing has happened since I’ve been zoom-travelling … blessing upon blessing, making memories. And yes, stories – oh the stories I could tell.
Until I find it safe to travel beyond my own province/country, I’ll be very grateful for and content with, zoom-travel. This week, I am travelling to a four day international conference – via zoom. I suspect that when it is all over, I will have stories to tell. 🙂
Ibn Battuta was right … when we travel, we are left speechless … and we have stories to tell. 🙂
You have set before us many hours. What will we do with those hours?
Choices. There are choices to be made.
Some choices bring change … in our relationships … in our work environments … in our education … in our health … in our decisions
Some choices bring results in our attitude. … Will I see this day as a day to dread? … Will I see this day as a day to consider possibilities? … Will I see this day as a day to anticipate?
Will this day bring … joy to my heart? … peace to my soul? … life to my intellect?
It’s up to me. Each day.
This day I choose … Joy: work in the garden with the earth and seeds and the sunshine … Gratitude: deal with some paperwork so there’s a beginning sense of order in the “to be filed” box. … Creativity: play with with pen and ink and coloured markers for an hour or so.
So today I celebrate you and thank you for the opportunity of yet another Monday on Planet Earth to evolve, learn, feel, experience, reason, breathe, walk, blog, play, eat, laugh.
Hello Monday – and thank you! It’s good to see you again. May we meet again in seven days.
These days, there seems to be a daily reminder that peace is elusive: news of the pandemic’s “numbers” rising quickly; its variant strains complicating matters; vaccine appointments slowing down in some areas; political goings-on; on top of difficult economic times; how/when/where to grieve the loss of a loved one; increasing sense of abuse happening in relationships; teachers, ferry workers, bus/transport drivers who see their jobs as ‘essential,’ but the government doesn’t see it that way, so they’re not on any vaccine list.
Peace is not just elusive for some. Peace is elusive for a growing number of people around the world and as a result, stress and mental health issues are on the rise.
While we sometimes experience ‘stress’ as “eustress” (from the Greek “eu” meaning “good”), according to the endocrinologist Hans Selye, eustress is the kind of stress that is healthy and gives a good, positive feeling.
However, more often than not, the stress that is experienced is “distress” (from the Latin prefix “dis” meaning “having a negative force”). Distress describes unpleasant/negative feelings or emotions that impact the level of functioning. Sometimes the stress is related to work. Sometimes the stress is related to relationships. Sometimes the stress is related to health or finances or lack thereof. Sometimes the stress is related to busyness or needing to be perfect or organized or … Sometimes the stress is related to grief. Sometimes the stress is related to fear … fear of the known … fear of the unknown. Sometimes the distress is a combination of several of the above.
S e r e n i t y. We want it. We want to exhale fear and inhale peace. P e a c e. We need it
But fear, busyness, worries, grief, physical pain, guilt, sleepless nights, and those everpresent “what-if’s” creep into our minds. And then there are the actions of bullies (at work, school, cyberspace), politicians, media, conspiracy theorists who further propel thoughts away from experiencing any sense of peace.
And yet … and yet … serenity and peace are available. We only need to be aware of them in the gift of our breath in the gift of words, spoken in the silence of hearts to one another, and to ourselves. Like these words, this prayer, this Celtic spirituality-based prayer this whispered hope … bring some semblance of peace this night.
Circle me. Keep protection near And danger afar. Circle me. Keep hope within. Keep doubt without. Circle me. Keep light near And darkness afar. Circle me. Keep peace within. Keep evil out. <adapted from the work of David Adam)
Blessings to you, my friends. And, peace. May the nourishment of the earth be yours, May the clarity of light be yours, May the fluency of the ocean be yours, May the protection of the ancestors be yours. <John O’Donohue>
A Facebook friend posted this comment: “Today I will stop giving so generously and freely
… I close my heart.” I was sad.
Guard her heart?
Of course.
Do self-care?
Of course.
But close her heart?
No.
Please, no.
There will always be people who will do what they can (consciously / unconsciously)
… to take us down.
There will always be people who don’t like us
… not everyone will like us.
But, that’s not a reason to close our heart.
Maybe the reason some people don’t like us is because of our religion.
Maybe it’s because of our gender or sexual preference or language or skin colour or …
Maybe it’s our choice of partner/spouse.
Maybe it’s our personality, or our clothing, or our food choices, or our history, or …
Maybe it’s because of who we support politically.
It could be any number of things.
The bottom line is that not everyone will like us.
Sometimes, we are
… Just … Not … Liked.
No identifiable reason.
When I learned that stark reality,
I also learned that ‘others not liking me’ is not my problem.
It’s their problem.
In that discovery, came another learning.
As long as I do my best each day.
As long as I love and take care of myself, I can be myself
and in so doing, life can become more gentle, more fun, more enjoyable and more loving.
I never want to close my heart.
The consequences of such a decision are too tragic to consider.
What about you?
Have you ever thought of closing your heart?
Sadly, in today’s political and pandemic climate,
more and more are echoing the words “I close my heart”
and it seems that as hearts are closing,
minds are closing even more
bringing beyond-difficult consequences
for our world.
I hope you have not closed your heart,
but … if you have,
I hope that you realize that as long as you do your best each day,
as long as you love and take care of yourself, you can be yourself.
And in so doing, life can become more gentle,
more fun, more enjoyable and more loving.
May we follow the lead of our pet friends …
they never close their hearts.
But it’s not easy to step back. So many are hungry or cold or thirsty for clean water
or scared or homeless or racist or uneducated or abused
or hurting or unwell or in pain or grieving
or unemployed or waiting as a loved one faces death
or are watching time slip by as their own death approaches.
The cumulative effect of it all
can drag us down or drain our energy or make us numb
or make us accident-prone or even become ill ourselves.
When we experience Soul-Fatigue
we *must* take care of ourselves. First.
We must love ourselves enough
to say ‘no’ and to let go.
We must remind ourselves
we are human *beings* not human *doings* and make time to simply ‘be’.
Make time to fill our own cup to show the compassion we show to others – to ourselves to inspire our heart to enjoy the arts listen to, look at and appreciate the simple things of life around us laugh and play and be carefree recognize and express gratitude or the blessings we often take for granted.
Because if we do not
we will become
unable to care for anyone else. Anyone.
This day and each day
we must take a sip
from the cup of kindness
for and to ourselves.
May we heed the wisdom of the ages
expressed in song and poetry and art
and prose and Scripture and drama
and airlines which remind us to first put our own oxygen mask before helping another put on their oxygen mask.
“Miss Pudgy Angel – it’s time for you to come and lift us out of the fear many are feeling these days.”
I wrote this blog four years ago. Tonight, a friend’s Facebook post began: “I was feeling a little … just a little bit paralyzed by fear today.” Her words echoed within me and I decided to share this again and add something personal at the bottom in the hopes that “Lifted Out of Fear” brings a bit of relief from the fear my friend is experiencing, that I am experiencing and that others may be experiencing.
***************************
Many are feeling fear these days … fear of “what next” when people watch the news … fear of flying … fear of a medical diagnosis … fear of aging … fear of an unknown future … fear of pandemics … fear about unemployment … fear of ‘what next’ …
I wish I could say that I’ve never been fearful, but …
I remember a terrifying plane ride when the plane heaved and starting falling, luggage began to come out of overhead bins, and people screamed. My hands were in a death grip on the arms of the seat. My breathing was shallow and swift as my mind raced through possible scenarios. I was scared … big time.
“God, help,” I heard myself whisper as the crying around me seemed to increase. And then, *she* appeared. Miss Pudgy Angel.
Well, that’s what I called her when I was given her as a gift many years earlier. She sat on my mantle for years and years and I delighted in her presence and in her sweet and gentle smile. Why I thought of her at that moment, I didn’t know, but I was grateful. Her image brought a smile to my face and for just an instant my concentration was on her … not on the fear.
I soon found myself imagining Miss Pudgy Angel with three of her pudgy angel friends: Miss Pudgy Angel was underneath the nose of the plane, two of her friends were under each wing of the plane, and one was under the plane’s tail. Each was working to stabilize the plane and help the plane climb back into its proper flying pattern.
The more I visualized Miss Pudgy Angel and her friends, it seemed that there was less and less space for the fear to take over my thoughts. Slowly, I realized that my breathing had slowed down … my grip on the armrest had lightened … and I was smiling! Those four pudgy angels were ridiculously funny! They huffed and puffed and pushed their pudgy arms into place. And as I continued to visualize the four of them under the plane, lifting it, stabilizing it, the more I became aware that the heaving of the plane had slowed and my fear was dissipating. Do I understand what happened in that moment in the sky? Not for a second.
Of course, there was no Miss Pudgy Angel or her pudgy-angel-friends underneath the plane.
It’s not surprising that giving serious attention to the existence of angels is difficult. If angels are part of the realm of the Spirit, that’s the realm of the unknown and the mysterious, and it’s not a world to which many can easily relate.
But in the Book of Job in the Old Testament, these words give rise to the possible reality: “God does speak. Now, one way. Now another, though we may not perceive it.” To believe that there is a Holy Other, Creator, By-Whatever-Name, to believe that such a Holy One speaks to us, and to believe that such communication happens through the form of an angel, well, that takes an openness – an openness to Mystery.
Do i believe in the possibility of angels? I did then. I do now. Many times since that moment-in-the-sky, I have uttered / prayed / whispered / thought words of gratitude. Were the pilot and co-pilot, crew, air traffic controllers, my Miss Pudgy Angel and her friends … angels that day? I don’t know.
I just know that for that brief terrifying moment, when I visualized Miss Pudgy Angel and her friends lifting the plane, as the pilot, co-pilot, crew and air traffic controllers were working hard to stabilize the plane and get it back on its flight pattern, I was being lifted out of fear.
This week, fear seems to be welling up inside me as dental surgery looms to extract a tooth revealed total decay underneath a Crown and the tooth (repaired decades ago with amalgam – mercury – which was standard practice at the time) was revealed.
Over fifteen years ago, when I received a devastating diagnosis of mercury poisoning. I lived with constant pain, helplessly watched as the muscles in my body and mind began to atrophy because of the poisoning and never returned to my place of employment. Unexpected, far-too-early retirement struck me in the face. I was told that while I wouldn’t die from the poisoning, there would be days when I wish I had. The specialist was right. He told me that I still had some amalgam in my teeth and the advice he gave me then and dentists have given me since over the intervening years was “if a tooth with amalgam becomes a problem, extract it. You can’t take the chance of exposure to it ever again.” That’s where I was last week at last week’s consultation. When the surgeon spoke the ‘there are complications’ words , the fear was overwhelming. My usual “go to” prayer is Dame Julian of Norwich’s “All shall be well. All shall be well. All manner of thing shall be well” and words from Scripture, but if my blood pressure was any indication, something more was needed. Nothing was helping.
And then tonight, reading my friend’s message on Facebook, I remembered Miss Pudgy Angel. I remember how she had lifted me out of fear long ago and decided to share the story and image with my friend and on the Soulistry blog for others.
This Thursday afternoon, when I am seated in the dental surgeon’s chair, I will pray Dame Julian’s prayer, along with Scripture passages, and envision Miss Pudgy Angel, lifting me out of fear.
To my friend whose words on FB this night sparked an addition to the original blog post about Miss Pudgy Angel, and to all who experience fear (of whatever form for whatever reason), find words that comfort, and recall an image that puts a smile on their face … even if only for a moment.
And if you can’t find such an image, feel free to think of Miss Pudgy Angel. That’s what I’ll be doing. 🙂
The snow is beginning to leave (hurray!). And this afternoon, these flowers began to surface in my back yard.
The promise of new life emerging in spite of the weather in spite of the pandemic in spite of political upheavals in spite of it being the Season of Lent in spite of what any of us is going through personally.
Deep within the winter snow the promise of new life!
May we not let anything deter us from this reality. Deep within the winter snow is new life – hope!
“All shall be well. All shall be well. And all manner of thing shall be well”
There are no promises in life but the words by Dame Julian of Norwich (c. 1342) can be of assistance when dealing with difficult moments difficult people difficult situations.
Used as … a prayer … a hope … a mantra … a wish the words can offer a snippet of reassurance that “everything is going to be okay.” And when we’re “in the trenches” of difficult moments, people, situations, even though Dame Julian’s words don’t say that things *are* okay, her words do say that all *shall be* well. And that’s a calming thought because when life gets to be more difficult than we think we can manage, surely a sense of calm is what is needed.
Whether or not Dame Julian’s words are whispered thought prayed shouted cried softly spoken sung let’s hold the words close to our heart this night and in the nights to come.
Who knows – they might bring a peace that is intangible … yet real a joy that is indefinable … yet palpable a hope that is unimaginable … yet possible.
“I believe,Tinker Bell and Green-Frog-peering-through-leaves. I believe” that “all *shall be* well in spite of the lies in spite of the fear in spite of the fraud. At some point in time “all *shall be* well.
An aside: tried to locate the creator of this image without success. If you know the creator, please let me know so appropriate accreditation can be provided.
It seems that my heart has been skipping a lot of beats lately. I’ve been gasping. And yes, while the air quality has been a major issue for my lungs, the ‘gasping’ is more than that. The gasping has been about the incredulity of words spoken by men in powerful positions the devastation caused by the force of Nature the unbelievable cruelty of human beings the “ism’s” causing hatred, violence, terrorism and more.
And none of it is stopping.
“Breathe, June. Just breathe” I’ve said to myself as history has continued to be made in recent days and weeks. “Breathe. Just breathe”
It’s not just me. Many seem to be having difficulty breathing deep, life-giving oxygen into their lungs especially when political situations seem overwhelming when health is compromised when fear escalates simply by watching/listening to the news when financial issues disrupt when grief overwhelms.
I remember a day long ago, when my breath was shallow and fast. I dreaded the thought of being strapped into the MRI metal tube with its loud noises and being unable to move. But, the test needed doing, so I took my own advice and focused on my breathing. As I did, I thought of my friend who, diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at the time, lungs barely functioning was in wait-mode for a double lung transplant.
It was a terrifying time for her. As I was trying to move beyond the panic that was settling in within me because of the claustrophobia I was experiencing in the MRI I intentionally breathed for, and with, my friend slow, deep, belly breaths over and over and over again trying to take the focus off of myself place it onto her and did some conscious breathing for us both.
When I find myself breathing short, shallow breaths because of the news or anything that causes stress within me, like visits to the dentist, I pray and I *belly breathe* slow, deep breaths from my belly gently expanding my belly, not raising my shoulders.
When I do that, oxygen begins to fill my body and mind, giving space for a sense of peace to enter my spirit.
I find a pattern of four breaths at a time helps … 1. As I breathe in, I am intentional about inhaling healing, wholeness, hope, peace, love. Sometimes I use the prayer of Dame Julian of Norwich and on each inhale, I think/whisper “All shall be well.” 2. As I breathe out, I am intentional about exhaling anxiety, pain, fear, grief, stress. Sometimes I use the next line of Dame Julian’s prayer “All shall be well.” 3. As I breathe in, I repeat the first breath’s focus and think/pray/whisper/say “And all manner of thing”. 4. As I breathe out, I repeat the second breath’s focus and think/pray/whisper/say “Shall be well.”
Dame Julian’s words don’t say things “are” well, but that they “shall be” well and that puts hope in my heart and mind and soul.
In – Out. In – Out. In – Out. In- Out. As I continue that pattern the results seem to be calming, healing, and soul-nourishing and surely in these days of more-than-unrest-and-fear we must do what we can to de-stress.
It’s not always easy to do especially in moments of crisis but there is a distinct difference in my stress level when I follow my own counsel.
We must remember to breathe consciously breathe gently, slowly, deeply so that our body can get the oxygen it needs.
No matter what lies ahead in our personal lives or in the world of politics we’re of no use to anyone if we aren’t able to get oxygen into our body so we can think rationalize distinguish between ‘real news’ and ‘fake news’ acknowledge the possibility of hope.
Breathe. Just breathe.
Each day regardless of what is happening in the world in the media in our personal ives we must remember to breathe and inhale goodness kindness thoughtfulness gentleness love joy peace self-control
A friend wrote “I know I am fading. I need help with fading. I will be staying at home for this part of the journey.”
A woman of gentle strength, courage, humility, wisdom, and hope, her post reminded me of this photo which for me, became symbolic of birth and death.
In it, I saw tall, strong trees standing on the edge of fresh running water that brings life. I also saw leaves from those trees falling to their demise as salmon swam upstream in the waters to their end.
Birth and death similar in a unique way.
When we are born, we change our address. We move “From Beyond” (where we grow in the care of our mother’s womb) to “This World” (where we grow through life’s lessons).
When we die, we change our address again … We move from “This World” (where we have grown through life’s lessons) to “Beyond” (where, like our time in our mother’s womb, we were oblivious about what is before us, but is a hope that we are not at our ‘end’).
Perhaps we might think of death as a beginning … another new beginning.
So many have died recently. They have changed their address.
So many are dealing with terminal illness and are dying. They are about to change their address.
When we were born, we made the transition “From Beyond” to “This World.”
When we die, we will make the transition from “This World” to “Beyond.“
And when that happens, it could be far more glorious than we can even anticipate or imagine!
I first heard the words from Sarah in a small northern Alaskan village.
The tiny, elderly, native woman spoke them slowly and carefully, all the while looking directly in my eyes. “How deeply you are connected to my soul, June.”
Deeply humbled by her words, I was thinking “this is not your common-ordinary-everyday conversation with a stranger.“ At that moment, I could feel the connectedness we shared and knew, even though we were cultures apart and our differences far outweighed our similarities, the ‘at-one-ness’ with each other was real. At that moment, our souls had connected.
One of the songs I learned in the tiny wooden building in that Alaskan bush long ago reinforced Sarah’s words: “How could anyone ever tell you that you’re anything less than beautiful? How could anyone ever tell you that you’re less than whole? How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle? How deeply you’re connected to my soul.”(Libby Roderick)
Though I was the stranger in her remote village, and our customs, language, traditions, life experiences were alien to one another, something indelibly linked us together.
And in that moment, I realized the possibility that two people who, on the surface have little in common with one another, could have a soul-connection.
It was then that the word ‘community’ took on a new meaning for me.
Yet when I watch and listen to the news, I hear the growing rhetoric expressed by politicians who don’t tell the truth, whose views and comments lead to an escalating almost-to-the-point-of-paralyzing fear. I see the growing intolerance and racism, misogyny and hatred, and can’t help but wonder and ask two questions: “Why can we not recognize the soul-connections around us? “Why can we not be community?”
I have no answers only more questions and wonder …
“When will it be time for those who speak or think ill of another – those who wound others with their words or thoughts – those who teach people to hate and fear – those who tear-down rather than build-up to recognize that we are all connected we are all part of the same community …the human community?”
Quote “We can work together for a better world with men and women of goodwill, those who radiate the intrinsic goodness of humankind.”
Author Wangari Maathai (1940 – ) is an environmental and political activist. Born in Kenya, she received the Nobel Peace prize for her contribution to sustainable development, democracy and peace. She was an elected Member of Parliament, founded the Greenbelt Movement which planted over thirty million trees in Kenya to help prevent soil erosion, was awarded the first PhD by the University of Nairobi, and increasingly active on both environmental and women’s issues.
Her husband divorced her, reputedly saying that she was too strong-minded for a woman and that he was unable to control her. After the judge in the divorce case agreed with her husband, she was put in jail for speaking out against the judge who then decreed that she could no longer use her husband’s surname. In defiance, she chose to add an extra “a” to her last name – changing, but not changing it. She experienced imprisonment and physical attack for demanding multi-party elections and an end to tribal politics and political corruption in Kenya.
Soul-Questions
1. What does “intrinsic goodness of humankind” mean to you?
2. How can “intrinsic goodness” be radiated?
3. How can spirituality be expressed in environmental, economic, political etc. activism?
4. How can you work with others who radiate the intrinsic goodness of humankind “for a better world”?
******************** How to use “Soulistry Soul-Questions” You may want to begin a Journal so your responses are all in one place.
From time to time, a quotation will appear along with accompanying Soul-Questions. Write the quotation. Add the first question and write your response.
Take your time in writing your replies. This is your time – these are your answers.
Then at your leisure, add the second Soul-Question and respond and continue on. Btw, it helps to put the date after each Soul-Question response.
The “Soul-Questions” group on Facebook can be found www.facebook.com/groups/soulquestions
The “Soul-Questions” website and individual quotes/soul-questions can be found www.soulistry.com/soul-questions-blog-posts
